Here's a suggestion for you. If you are truly averse to the concept of social distancing, simply get on an airplane. You will be shoulder-to-shoulder with the mask alongside of you.
Those that read here regularly will know that I am bi-coastal and, for about 17 years, traveled between NY and LA perhaps 8 to 10 trips every 12 months. All that time, I made these excursions almost like a robot. I would take the same flights and rent the same cars and follow the same schedules every travel day.
And then March 2020. I was supposed to make six cross country trips over the course of last year. As it wound up, the last time I got on a plane was February 2020. Oh, sure, I could have flown sooner but with the risk of being quarantined for two weeks by the state gestapo run by Don Vito Cuomo. I chose to wait till I was safely vaccinated.
So, last week, I made my "maiden" voyage in a post-COVID world. And, although I tried to adopt the same routine and level of normalcy from the past, that was virtually impossible. I literally could not get into sync at all. Every moment was just a little bit "off."
You can start with boarding the plane. My Dodger gaiter was not allowed. Luckily, I had a surgeon's mask in my backpack. I sat down in my aisle seat and it was warm. I reached for the air conditioning control. Ah, covered with a plastic cap. You want air? You need to wait till they want to give you air.
This was an American Airlines flight because I get a lot of perks due to my million mile status. But one of those anti-perks is that they are filling up every available seat. See the photo above? There's a head bobbing up from every chair.
Over my years, I have had transcontinental flights that felt long and some that felt short. This one just flat out felt...uncomfortable. My entertainment console was busted and they couldn't reboot it. The young kid in front of me was on crutches and felt he needed to keep his seat reclined at all times. And the gal in the middle seat next to me had a bladder the size of a baby aspirin.
And never was I more concerned about cleanliness than when I myself had to go pee. Those 35,000 foot rest rooms are bacterial condominiums on a good day, let alone during a waning pandemic.
Yes, it was all just a bit off.
And this translated to my rental car pick-up at Hertz. I've been a Gold #1 member for years. I have scooted through this process just like OJ Simpson used to power through those airports. But, this time, my driver's license had expired in the last 14 months and I had to stop at the desk.
Except there was no one manning a Gold desk. And literally one person working behind the counter. The simple act of modifying my license date took twenty minutes.
And then getting the actual car turned into the running time of "Lawrence of Arabia." Now I had heard that car rentals were tough during the pandemic in New York. There was literally only about ten vehicles in the lot. Not to worry. There was only one person working there to bring one of those cars to you. The attendant was nice enough. His name tag said he was "Alpha." He apologized profusely several times as he kept looking for a car to bring me. He might have done so by carjacking somebody on the near-by Belt Parkway.
On my drive up to Westchester, I looked around as if I was visiting some place for the first time. I noticed some things in the same normal locations. I also spotted some stores that had closed. Traffic in the usual spot on the Cross County Parkway. And road work all around.
There was nothing robotic about this day. And, as I head back today to Los Angeles, I am expecting that the return trip will be just a little bit...
...off.
Dinner last night: Pepperoni pizza at Gianna's.
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