Hollywood Then and Now - November 2021

I frequently lament here about how the grand movie palaces are disappearing.  They are gone in most cities.   New York has lost all of them, save for Radio City Music Hall which never shows films anymore.

Los Angeles, however, has tried hard to buck that trend.   And nothing looks more like the same throughout the years than the infamous Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood.   With its footprints in the forecourt and the opulent auditorium inside, history has stopped here.   You can see it in these photos.

From the days in 1964 when they ran "Mary Poppins" there.

Or a decade and a half later when "Raiders of the Lost Ark" played there.

To 2021.

Still playing films.  Still open.   Still thriving.

Very heartening.

Dinner last night:  Hibachi Steak at the Chessecake Factory.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - November 29, 2021

 Ah, the days before supply chain delays.

Dinner last night:  Leftover SPO.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - The Holidays and a Bucket of Popcorn

And, with the conclusion of Thanksgiving, another Christmas season lands on this blog. For the first time in 22 years, I am spending this weekend on the east coast from which I am from.   Usually I don't turn this blog over to Yule themes until the second week of December.   But it is cold and I am already feeling the season.  Heck, the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree gets lit this week.   And Radio City Music Hall already lit the Rockettes a few weeks ago.   Thank goodness they are not masked.

I remember my days working in NY and it would happen every single year.  My first morning walk past Radio City Music Hall would bring back so many memories. 

And sadness. 

Because Christmas at Radio City is not what it was when I was a kid.   

Today, you can already see the decorations for the upcoming Christmas Spectacular, which inexplicably starts just one week after Halloween. You'll get those big toy soldiers lined up on top of the marquee. The cannon fires and knocks them down. And the throngs will show up from all over the country by the busload to spend 75 plus bucks for 90 minutes of alleged entertainment. 

I remember taking my pseudo-nephew to this about 30 years ago. I was trying to connect to some divine passage of time. Christmas at Radio City. I used to be the kid being taken there for the sheer exhilaration of the season. Now I'm the adult, taking a child for the same experience. 

 He came out of it all as bored as I was. The ninety minutes blew by like a decade. The show was so badly paced you would think the Pentagon was staging it. And, except for the forever reliable Rockettes, the overall production was extremely unprofessional with some of the cheapest production values this side of Jack Benny. They even managed to make the birth of Jesus Christ uninteresting. I remember that, right in the middle of the Nativity scene, my ten year-old pseudo nephew turned to me and said loudly, "Is this over yet?" 

Yet, to this day, people flock to Radio City Music Hall every Christmas as if it had the healing powers of Lourdes. And they don't even know how good it could be. Holding a parent's hand while standing in the cold trenches of 50th Street. You didn't feel the chill. There was the warmth of the hall awaiting you. As the Salvation Army bells chimed on the corner, you would enter the grand foyer and it would be a Christmas decorated sight like no other. I would stand in ten year-old awe. Who could imagine such splendor? 

And then you'd enter into the auditorium. With Christmas carols being played by that magnificent organ that slide in and out of the wall. Goosebumps by the barrel. And then you would see a movie. Usually some cinematic entertainment that was specially selected for the Hall's Christmas offering. 

Take a look at this list of Radio City Music Hall Christmas films going back to 1942. This is what dreams are made of. 

1942: You Were Never Lovelier. 

1943: Madame Curie. 

1944: National Velvet. 

1945: Bells of St. Mary's. 

1946: Till The Clouds Roll By. 

1947: Good News. 

1948: Words and Music. 

1949: On The Town. 

1950: Kim. 

1951: I'll See You in My Dreams. 

1952: Million Dollar Mermaid. 

1953: Easy to Love. 

1954: Deep In My Heart. 

1955: Kismet. 

1956: Teahouse of the August Moon. 

1957: Sayonara. 

1958: Auntie Mame. 

1959: Operation Petticoat. 

1960: The Sundowners. 

1961: Babes in Toyland. 

1962: Jumbo. 

1963: Charade. 

1964: Father Goose. 

1965:That Darn Cat. 

1966: Follow Me, Boys. 

1967: The Happiest Millionaire. 

1968: The Impossible Years. 

1969: A Boy Named Charlie Brown. 

1970: Scrooge. 

1971: Bedknobs and Broomsticks. 

1972: 1776. 

1973: Robin Hood. 

1974: The Little Prince. 

1975: The Sunshine Boys. 

 Okay, there are some duds in that bunch. But, still, it was more than enough for a smile. And, coupled with a 30 minute well-crafted stage show that prominently featured the Rockettes, you came away with the ultimate holiday memory. Probably for less than 5 bucks a person. In the murder of movie theater glory in New York, Radio City Music Hall is the most tragic victim. It's just a memory for me now. 

I doubt that I will pass by Radio City Music Hall on this trip.  Maybe it's just as well.

Dinner last night:  Fried shrimp at the Seashore on City Island.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - November 2021

I know there's a lot of buzz for the upcoming Spielberg remake.  But let's not forget the original which was playing in theaters 60 years ago this month.

 

Dinner last night:  Sausage and peppers at Carlo's.

Your Black Friday Shopping Guide for 2021

Who are you kidding?  You don't go shopping anywhere but on the computer these days.  Plus if you order something for Christmas, it may arrive by Easter. 

Nevertheless, I was on a plane last week and there is still Skymall catalogs.  No fuss, no muss.   You'll thank me in January.

Who doesn't want to learn how to make their own beer?  I wonder if this is how Bert and Harry Piels started.

A massager for your head and eyes.  Now who out there actually massages their eyes, heh?

A canvas of the Cleveland skyline that can easily wrap around your living room wall.  Just in case your gift list includes Drew Carey.

Marble Mania includes 425 pieces.  All suitable for choking a ten-year-old boy.

Now your little kitty can shit and pretend he's in Star Wars all at the same time.

Father and son raptor hoodies.  Ideal for the men in your family with low self esteem.

When just the normal air around us is not enough.  Try the new Oxygen Bar.  Cocktail is optional.

Why do I think this thing should come with the fire department on speed dial?

The Hide and Seek Monkey.  I have no idea what this crap does, but the list price is fifty bucks.

Disposable boxer briefs.  If you simply can't be bothered doing at least one load of laundry a week.

Dinner last night:  Wonderful Thanksgiving dinner at the home of good friends Ellen and Bob.

This Blog's Thanksgiving Day Tradition

Yep, every year.   It's yet another rendition of "Turkey Lurkey Time" from the legendary musical "Promises, Promises."

Have a wonderful holiday meal which, in 2021, costs ten times as much to make as it did in 1991.

Dinner last night:  Kung pao chicken at PF Chang's.

This Date in History - November 24

 

This is Venus.  As in the planet.  And the song by Frankie Avalon.

1639:  JEREMIAH HORROCKS OBSERVES THE TRANSIT OF VENUS, AN EVENT HE HAD PREDICTED.

There's transit on Venus?  I hope it's better than the bus system in Los Angeles.

1859:  CHARLES DARWIN PUBLISHES "ON THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES." 

It immediately shot to #2 on Amazon. 

1863:  DURING THE CIVIL WAR, UNION FORCES UNDER GENERAL ULYSSES S. GRANT CAPTURE THE CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS ON LOOKOUT MOUNTAIN.

Apparently, the folks on Lookout Mountain weren't living up to the name.

1868:  RAGTIME COMPOSER SCOTT JOPLIN IS BORN.

And ultimately the birth of Marvin Hamlisch's career.

1906:  THE CANTON BULLDOGS-MASSILLON TIGERS BETTING SCANDAL, THE FIRST MAJOR SCANDAL IN PROFESSIONAL AMERICAN FOOTBALL.

I still don't know.  Did Massillon cover the spread?

1911:  ACTOR KIRBY GRANT IS BORN.

That's Sky King for those of you non-Nabisco Cookie eating folks.

1921:  NY MAYOR JOHN LINDSAY IS BORN.

Luckily, his parents' street had been plowed and they were able to get to the hospital in time.

1922:  AUTHOR AND IRISH REPUBLICAN ARMY MEMBER ROBERT ERSKINE CHILDERS IS EXECUTED BY AN IRISH FREE STATE FIRING SQUAD FOR ILLEGALLY CARRYING A REVOLVER.

Shot for carrying a gun.  Ironic, heh?

1935:  THE SENEGALESE SOCIALIST PARTY HOLDS ITS SECOND CONGRESS.

The third congress was held on November 25, 1936.  There's not a lot going on in Senegal.

1941:  THE UNITED STATES GRANTS LEND-LEASE TO THE FREE FRENCH.

For anybody who's stayed in a Paris hotel, there's nothing really "free" about the French.

1941:  THE FIFTH BEATLE PETE BEST IS BORN.

And so is a trivia question that will be handed down for generations.

1944:  DURING WORLD WAR II, THE FIRST BOMBING RAID AGAINST TOKYO IS CARRIED OUT BY 88 AMERICAN AIRCRAFT.

You think this did some damage?  Wait till Mothra comes in.

1946:  SERIAL KILLER TED BUNDY IS BORN.

What did he do?  Shoot a bullet into a box of Cocoa Puffs?

1950:  ACTOR STANLEY LIVINGSTON IS BORN.

Chip from "My Three Sons!!!!!"

1963:  ALLEGED JFK ASSASSIN LEE HARVEY OSWALD IS SHOT BY JACK RUBY.

And....

1963:  ALLEGED JFK ASSASSIN LEE HARVEY OSWALD DIES.

...is killed.

1966:  NEW YORK CITY EXPERIENCES THE SMOGGIEST DAY IN THE CITY'S HISTORY.

And all you "Mad Man" tools look so fondly back at the days of smoking in an office.

1971:  DURING A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM OVER WASHINGTON STATE, HIJACKER DB COOPER PARACHUTES FROM A NORTHWEST ORIENT AIRLINES PLANE WITH $200,000 IN RANSOM MONEY.  HE HAS NEVER BEEN FOUND.

If I had run away with $200,000, you wouldn't find me either.

1973:  A NATIONAL SPEED LIMIT IS IMPOSED ON THE AUTOBAHN IN GERMANY DURING THE 1973 OIL CRISIS.

Those Volkswagens don't go fast anyway.

1991:  FREDDIE MERCURY OF QUEEN DIES.

Mercury no longer rising.  Or, actually, maybe he did.

2005:  ACTOR PAT MORITA DIES.

Wax on, Pat off.

2016:  ACTRESS FLORENCE HENDERSON DIES.

A true bitch and I have first hand proof.   Here's a story about a dead lady...

Dinner last night:  Leftover roast beef and salad.

Len's Recipe of the Month - November 2021

Sorry.   Just because it's November, I'm not going to bore you with a Thanksgiving recipe.   Nope, I am going off the grid for this one,   You would not serve sausage, peppers, and onions (SPO) for Turkey Day.   Although I might.

If you know me well, you realize that SPO is my most favorite entree to eat.   And, along with lasagna, it is my very favorite thing to make.   Now I've done this here before.   But, if you hang on to the end, there's a little new twist I have invented that really elevates this dish to a higher plain.

Now true foodies know there are two ways to do SPO.  Dry or wet.  I have no preference but the new twist requires this to be of the wet variety pictured above.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.   Then place two pounds of sweet (or mixed with hot) sausage on a wire rack and bake for thirty minutes.

In your favorite skillet or....my beloved La Creuset dutch oven...heat up two to three tablespoons of EVO.  

For the pepper part, I use only red or yellow or orange.   Green is too bitter.  Slice them lengthwise and add to the pot.   Slice up two medium onions and add them.  Mince four to five cloves of garlic and lay on top of the veggies.

Now, here's some of the wet.   Create an empty space on the bottom of the pot for a tablespoon of tomato paste.   Let it get toasted and then stir it into the peppers and onions.  

Add two 8 oz cans of diced tomatoes...drained.

By now, you can pull the sausage out of the oven.  Let them cool for ten minutes and then slice them up.   Add to the pot.

Now the secret.  You know that hot cherry pepper relish you can get on subs at Jersey Mike's?  Well, you can get that in a jar and you want to blend in two tablespoons of this into your dish.   Stir it all up and reduce the heat to low.  Cover it but leave a little of the lid askew so steam can escape.   Let this simmer for an hour or longer.

An old favorite with a fiery twist.

Happy Thanksgiving.  Wink wink.

Dinner last night:  Long day of travel.  Some roast beef and German potato salad.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - November 22, 2021

 For your Thanksgiving enjoyment.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese food.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Thanksgiving As I Remember

 

It is fitting to rerun this memory today and not because this week is Thanksgiving.   

You see, for the first time in 22 years...essentially since I moved to LA...I will spend Thanksgiving on my hometown East Coast.  Why?   A variety of circumstances made me think about having a change of scenery this year.   And to avoid cooking in the kitchen just this once.  So I opt to travel and I had three invitations to choose from.

So, I can dwell again in the memories of a Westchester County Thanksgiving.

Ah yes.

The smell of frying onions would wake me up around 8AM.  I was savoring a breakfast bowl of Rice Krispies and already my stomach was churning with this bizarre odor in the early morning.  It could mean only one thing.

It was Thanksgiving and Grandma was downstairs making the stuffing.

Our family Thanksgiving dinners were probably no different than yours.  Certainly not as warm and fuzzy as magazine ads would lead you to imagine.  Loving family members, heads bowed in grace, thanking the Lord for the food they were about to partake.  Good feelings all around.

Nah.  Maybe you heard the following, too.

"You didn't make turnips this year?  What's wrong with you?"

"The white meat is way too dry.  Did you bother to baste it?"

"I'm not sitting next to him/her unless they apologize."

Oh, yeah.  Norman Rockwell is a myth.

Our gatherings were frequently held at our house.  Grandma and my mother would co-op the cooking together as other ends of our family would come to call and dine around Grandma's big dining room table downstairs.  The fact that my mom and her mother-in-law were working together was news worth of Ripley's Believe It or Not.  Rarely on the same page, they were barely in the same book when it came to holiday cooking. 

I have an ultra-vivid memory of one such skirmish.  Mom and Grandma had such a dust-up that, when my grandmother turned her back, my mother picked up one of those Pillsbury biscuit cans and pretended to take a swing at her.  A tough vision for a seven-year-old.

"Oh, my God.  Mommy's gonna bash Grandma in the skull."

Or something like that.

I'd try to stay out of the line of fire by sequestering myself in front of the television and watching Bullwinkle float down Broadway.  Eventually, the other relatives would show up and even the arrival of Santa Claus at the end of the parade couldn't upstage that year's family drama.

"Stop telling me how to raise my kids."

"I will if you stop telling me how to raise my kids."

"If you've got gas, please go in the other room."

"Belch!"

And that's before dinner.

On our table were the usual staples.  Turnips and sweet potatoes, which I could never tell apart.  Green beans, which were usually fresh.  Mashed potatoes, which were never completely a unanimous favorite.

"I like them creamy."

"They're too lumpy."

"They're too dry."

"Did you forget the butter??"

And, amid all the fresh food, there was my favorite Thanksgiving dish.  Cranberry sauce.  Still is.  These days, I'm enjoying a homemade concoction of this fruit, usually mixed with oranges and cherries.  But it didn't get that fancy years ago.  Nope, my family always opted for the can.

The Ocean Spray can.

The one you opened with a can opener and the cranberry sauce slid out in one gloppy mold.  Just like we used to slip the dog food out of the Ken-L-Ration can.  With the cranberries, they didn't even bother to use a knife to slice it.  Somebody would simply take the metal lid and use that to cut up the mold.  If Martha Stewart had witnessed this scene, she would have used that same metal lid to slit her wrists.

But, to me, this was cranberry sauce and I loved it nonetheless.  Except, of course, when there was a much publicized recall of Ocean Spray Jellied Cranberries one Thanksgiving.  Seems there was some poison embedded or perhaps a soupcon of botulism.  Whatever the case, I was petrified.  The moratorium was quickly called off within a month, but that didn't placate me in the least. 

I would pass on cranberries for the next five years.  I was convinced that there was still one can out there that had been ignored by the inspectors.  And the way my grandmother used to buy in bulk, I was sure that food poisoning and/or death was no doubt lurking right around the corner of Grandma's pantry.

There was always plenty of food on our table.  One Thanksgiving, as we dined on our respective second helpings, we heard the faint sound of chewing in the kitchen.  My beagle Tuffy had hopped up on the table and was helping herself to anything she could sniff out.  Nobody took home leftovers that year.

And, of course, the most popular after dinner activity in our house was undoubtedly no different than in any American home.  From various corners of the house, we could hear the same refrain.

"ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz......."

I truly hope I don't fall asleep at my friends' home.

Dinner last night:  Char siu pork and fried rice from Chin Chin.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - November 2021

This was on sixty years ago this month.   Oh, this is the New Bob Cummings Show. 

Dinner last night:  Bacon and cheddar cheese omelet.

Your Weekend Movie Guide for November 2021

Sixty years ago, going to the movies was a big deal.   And apparently created front page traffic jams in front of Radio City Music Hall which was playing Disney's "The Absent Minded Professor."   

Those were the days that are not any more.   These days, if there's a line to see in a first run movie, it might go from your dining room to your living room.  You know the monthly drill, ladies and gentlemen.  I'll cruise through the movie pages...well, actually, page...of the LA Times and give you my knee jerk opinion of what's new on the big screen these days.

Trust me.  It won't be as cool as Flubber.

Julia:  A documentary on chef Julia Child, which looks interesting.   I wonder if it backs up my mom's theory that she was always drunk on TV.

Eternals:  More super hero bullshit.   When does it ever end?

Clifford the Big Red Dog:   Curb your movie.

Belfast:  1969 Ireland.   My only interest is that this film comes with the new "Downton Abbey" trailer.

Dune:  A reboot of something I never saw in the first place.

No Time To Die:  I'm skipping this James Bond flick as I want to salute the end of Daniel Craig in these movies.

Ghostbusters - Afterlife:   Who are you going to call?

The French Dispatch:   This was on my guide last month and I know even less about it now.

Spencer:  About Lady Diana, not the TV detective once played by Robert Urich.

Venom - Let There Be Carnage:   This is what Nancy Pelosi says was uttered last January 6.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings:   More Marvel nonsense I need to ignore.

Last Night in Soho:   A murder mystery in 1960's London.   Hardly a grabber of a plotline for me.

C'Mon C'Mon:   A journalist takes his nephew on a cross country trip.   It stars Joaquin Phoenix, so this might qualify as an amber alert.

King Richard:  Will Smith as the father of Venus and Serena Williams.   I prefer the Dodger catcher, not the actor.

Tick...Tick...BOOM:  A drama about Jonathan Larson who created "Rent" and died before it became a success.   Alert the supply chain.   Unload the Kleenex.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Back and To The Left - The Sequel

 

Oliver Stone is back.   And, while some consider him a crackpot on the topic, I truly believe he has done all the necessary homework on the JFK Assassination...which we commemorate one more time this 11/22.  

I remember when his Kevin Costner-starring movie came out in 1991.   The theories pushed forward were thought to be pure fantasy and wild conjecture.  But, as Stone shows us in his new documentary available on Showtime, his subsequent research backs it all up.   This is a riveting two hours and, for all those believing January 6, 2021 was the "worst" day in American History, I will offer up as a rebuttal November 22, 1963.   

When this country's leadership was changed by an orchestrated coup worthy of the worst of South American dictatorships.

From autopsy missteps to missing photos to disappearing witnesses.   It's all here and it's no wonder why not all the files have come out on Kennedy's murder.  Indeed, the CIA was clearly involved.   And maybe the mob, too.   While not mentioned in this copious documentary, journalist and TV personality Dorothy Kilgallen apparently had the keys to this mystery back in 1965.   She, too, died under mysterious circumstances.   I know there's a reporter who has opened up this case in NY.

Admittedly, I'm a geek when it comes to all things JFK, so I am the target audience for films like this.   But it is so well researched and laid out that you can't deny its success at telling the accurate story.   Someday, I guess the truth will come out.   Or not.   

But, at the end, you realize that, in comparison, the sins of the Trump administration are akin to stealing a third grader's milk money when compared to what was done to our democratic government in 1963.

LEN'S RATING:  Four stars.

Dinner last night:  Leftover SPO.

This Date in History - November 17

 

How can any post that leads with a photo of Tom Seaver be bad? It's his day. We miss you.  Read on.

473: THE FUTURE LEO II IS NAMED ASSOCIATE EMPEROR BY LEO I.

Talk about nepotism.

1183: THE BATTLE OF MIZUSHIMA.

I'm not sure but I think Mizushima is now a Pan-Asian restaurant on Wilshire Boulevard.

1511: SPAIN AND ENGLAND ALLY AGAINST FRANCE.

Considering the bathing habits of the French, who can blame them?

1558: QUEEN MARY I OF ENGLAND DIES AND SUCCEEDED BY HER HALF-SISTER ELIZABETH I OF ENGLAND.

If they had been as smart as the Leos, it would have been Queen Mary II.

1603: ENGLISH EXPLORER SIR WALTER RALIEGH GOES ON TRIAL FOR TREASON.

And later on, he is convicted for sticking those little coupons on packs of cigarettes.

1659: THE PEACE OF THE PYRENEES IS SIGNED BETWEEN FRANCE AND SPAIN.

Try to say "Peace of the Pyrenees" five times fast.

1800: THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS HOLDS ITS FIRST SESSION IN WASHINGTON, DC.

Okay, this happens over 20 years after we declared independence and wrote the Constitution. How long does it take to find someplace to meet? There was no American Legion hall available?

1811: JOSE MIGUEL CARRERA, CHILEAN FOUNDING FATHER, IS SWORN IN AS PRESIDENT OF CHILE.

Little did he know that, 210 years later, his miners would be truly fucked.

1820: CAPTAIN NATHANIEL PALMER BECOMES THE FIRST AMERICAN TO SEE ANTARCTICA.

Not on purpose, I assume.

1827: THE DELTA PHI FRATERNITY, AMERICA'S OLDEST CONTINUOUS SOCIAL FRATERNITY, IS FOUNDED AT UNION COLLEGE IN SCHENECTADY, NEW YORK.

November 18, 1827: The very first beer keg is invented at Union College in Schenectady, New York.

1869: IN EGYPT, THE SUEZ CANAL IS INAUGURATED.

And they've been fighting over it every since.

1871: THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION IS GRANTED A CHARTER BY THE STATE OF NEW YORK.

Charlton Heston's earliest known public appearance.

1911: THE OMEGA PSI PHI FRATERNITY, THE FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN FRATERNITY AT A BLACK COLLEGE, IS FOUNDED AT HOWARD UNIVERSITY IN WASHINGTON, DC.

In the event that Al Sharpton reads this blog, I have nothing to say.

1925: ACTOR ROCK HUDSON IS BORN.

Mothers of America, you have been given fair warning. Lock up your fair-haired sons immediately.

1933: THE UNITED STATES RECOGNIZES THE SOVIET UNION.

What is this noteworthy? Did we have a case of amnesia?

1938: SINGER GORDON LIGHTFOOT IS BORN.

One of the dreariest musicians ever. I'm just saying.....

1942: DIRECTOR MARTIN SCORSESE IS BORN.

Yes, we're talkin' to you.

1944: SNL PRODUCER LORNE MICHAELS IS BORN.

And he hasn't had a creative thought since.

1944: METS PITCHER TOM SEAVER IS BORN.

Tom, I'm sorry you have to share your special day with the aforementioned load. Given that you were such a major part of my childhood and all.

1947: THE U.S SCREEN ACTORS GUILD IMPLEMENTS AN ANTI-COMMUNIST LOYALTY OATH.

Have you now or have you ever been.......

1962: PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY DEDICATES DULLES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, SERVING THE WASHINGTON DC. REGION.

Little did JFK know at the time that there was an airport with his own name attached coming in just a few short years.

1968: BRITISH EUROPEAN AIRWAYS INTRODUCES THE BAC ONE-ELEVEN INTO COMMERCIAL SERVICE.

Two years later, they introduced a Seven-Eleven into my neighborhood.

1970: DOUGLAS ENGELBART RECEIVES THE PATENT FOR THE FIRST COMPUTER MOUSE.

As well as the copyright for Carpal-Tunnel Syndrome.

1973: IN ORLANDO, FLORIDA, US PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON TELLS 400 ASSOCIATED PRESS EDITORS "I AM NOT A CROOK."

Uh huh...

1998: ACTRESS ESTHER ROLLE DIES.

Good times are over.

2002: ISRAELI DIPLOMAT ABBA EBAN DIES.

He never lived to see the premiere of "Mamma Mia."

2004: K-MART ANNOUNCES IT IS BUYING SEARS, ROEBUCK AND COMPANY FOR 11 BILLION DOLLARS.

Does anybody remember waiting for the K-Mart Christmas catalog to come in the mail?

2014:  PITCHER RAY SADECKI DIES.

Everybody's favorite guy to start the second game of a double header.

2019:  THE FIRST KNOWN CASE OF COVID-19 IN WUHAN, CHINA.

Oh, yeah, it was a wet market.  Right, assholes.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

I Miss Reviewing Movies

 

This blog started in March of...gulp...2007.  Right from the get-go, a popular daily entry were my movie reviews.    New theatrical releases or films premiering on line were perfect fodder.   Some of my funniest pieces were in reviews of movies that really stunk.

But, sadly, the movie review has been missing from these virtual pages.   Oh, there have been some isolated films from when theaters opened after COVID.  And a few got reviews from their on-line streams.   But there just have not been enough of them.   As a result, I have had to rely on other nonsense.  But how many blog entries can you devote to Nancy Pelosi?

I was hoping that the opening of theaters would prompt me back into the reviewer's chair.   But, unfortunately, the movies in mainstream theaters are just not worth the masked effort.  I look at the movie listings and the word "meh" is uttered most frequently.  And that includes the latest James Bond chapter.

Perhaps, with the future Oscars award season, there will be some films to review.   I am counting on it.

In the meantime, I sharpen my knives with focused resolve.   I can't wait for the day where I can once again type.

LEN'S RATING:  ZERO STARS.

Dinner last night:  Leftover SPO.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - November 15, 2021

I love these videos with Oliver the Beagle. 

Dinner last night:  Sausage, peppers, and onions.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - I Almost Worked For...

 Okay, let's take a flashback into my world of writing.  Not this blog.  The other writing I've dabbled in for the past several decades. 

In a career full of "almosts" and "possiblys," there were certainly a lot more "unlikelys" and "doubtfuls."  But you never give up.  Especially when you consider how close I came to actually working for these three folks.

Yep, Carol Channing.  Dolly Levi herself.  The renowned kook of Broadway.  For this near-story, you have to turn back the calendar pages a long way.  To another coast and another writing partner.  My good friend, Djinn from the Bronx.

At the time, we were wet behind the ears and probably even wetter when it came to figuring out how to start a writing career.  Somehow and someway, we wound up being affiliated with the William Morris Talent Agency in New York. 

Impressed?  Don't be. 

We weren't exactly clients.  No, as we sat in the reception area once a week for a meeting with our "not exactly" agent, we watched the parade of real people blow through for their "not pretend"meetings with their real agents.  Jack Lemmon, for instance.

Through an introduction by another friend, we had become associated with some junior agent named Andy.  Okay, I should have been immediately suspicious.  Who uses the name "Andy" in a business setting?  That's the name of a rag doll or the sheriff of Mayberry.  That's not the name of a William Morris agent. 

Well, Andy liked us and our work and arranged for us to meet with him once a week to "talk."  Was he serious about our careers?  Or did he simply need to show the other big agents that he, too, had people he could "take a meeting" with?  Who knows?  But we were stupid and didn't know what the hell we were doing.  So, we dutifully showed up once a week to pitch him ideas.  For TV shows, movies, recipes for rice pudding, whatever.  Essentially, if any one of these clicked, we'd be signed to a contract and then the requisite Maserati car lease would immediately follow.  Andy was only interested in us in the remote possibility that we could make him a little money.

To this day, William Morris and most other talent agencies love to develop "packages."  Matching their out-of-work writers to their out-of-work directors and their out-of-work actors in the hope that they could produce something that would get them all out-of-work.  One week, while we were staring blankly one more time at our non-agent, Andy struck a mental gold mine.

"Carol Channing!"

Huh?

She was the typical William Morris client.  An out-of-work star looking for some out-of-work writers to put together her upcoming night club act.

Huh again?

What the hell did we know about putting together a night club act?  All I knew about night clubs was what I had seen Ricky Ricardo do in the Tropicana Club on "I Love Lucy."  First, he sings "Cuban Pete" and then Lucy does something to mess up the act.  Check.  Got it.  Except I didn't think that was what Carol Channing was looking for.

Yet, who were we to turn down potential writing work?  We crafted a few ideas to pitch to "Miss Channing."  Then, we were supposed to take the train down to Baltimore, where she was either currently performing or looking for the best crab cake Maryland had to offer.

Seems easy?  Well, not so much.

It seemed to take forever to book a visit with Miss Channing.  But, at last, we had a date.  We'd pack up our hearts, our dreams, and our best jokes for what could be a lifelong association with Carol Channing.  We'd be saying hello to Dolly.  In Baltimore, for God's sake.

The day before we were to hop onto the southbound Amtrak, we got the word.  Carol's Baltimore hotel had caught on fire.  Guests were evacuated in the middle of the night.  Perhaps one of her wigs got a little too close to her hot plate.  Whatever the case, she was too overcome to meet with us.

Apparently ever.  That was the last time we heard from her.  And pretty much the next-to-last time we heard from the barely-past-puberty Andy.

Moving the calendar pages forward now.   To another writing partner and an equally misguided approach to a career.

Actually, we had gotten some non-Monopoly-money paying work and that saga will be minutely detailed in a multi-part edition of the Sunday Memory Drawer very soon.   But, we were hungry for more and open to any options.  One day, an advertisement in a writing magazine caught our eye.

"World Famous Actor looking for fresh new writers to collaborate on TV series."

Okay, we'll bite.  In retrospect, we should have realized that no world famous actor would need to resort to a career personal ad to get his next gig.  But, what did we know?  And it wouldn't cost more than a dime to call the attached phone number.  I let my writing partner dial the phone.

It was Tony Lo Bianco.

Who?

The tough New York actor who's been working for years and always plays the Mafia guy who kicks the shit out of the hero.  On the phone, he sounded like a tough New York actor who could easily kick the shit out of two writers.  But, he seemed sincere about whatever concept he wanted to flesh out.

The only trouble is he never made any sense to us.  In two phone calls, he prattled on endlessly but rarely got to the point of anything.  He shared his version of a script with us.  He himself had started the writing process.

It stunk.  And, suddenly, we had this vision of telling him what we really thought.  And then a subsequent vision of cement slabs tied to our bodies at the bottom of the Hudson River.

Yeah, it was time to ease away from Tony Lo Bianco.  But, not before he sent us a potential partnership agreement which tied us to him for both a movie script and a weekly vacuuming of his living room rug.

Moving on....

More calendar pages turning.  Same writing partner, different coast.  And a real, honest-to-God agent attached to us and, in one of her last acts prior to quitting the business and starting a yoga class, she was trying to find us work in Hollywood.  One afternoon, she called with this gem.

"Tom Arnold just got his new sitcom picked up and he's looking for writers."

Yep, Tom Arnold. 

At the time, he was fresh from his explosive marriage and divorce from Roseanne Barr.  After all those dust-ups, he was looking to become a star in his own right.  And in his own mind.  Our agent made the necessary connections for us to meet him.  Our spec scripts had gone over to him and he was allegedly interested.  We had some trepidations because we heard he was a jerk.  But, then again, who were we to scoff at some work?

She booked us a meeting with Tom.  Wednesday 2:30PM at his office on the Universal lot.

That notation was on our calendar for the next five weeks.  Because each week there would be a cancellation.  For a variety of reasons.

"Tom is meeting with the network."

"Tom has food poisoning."

"Tom wrenched his back."

One week, we were walking out the front door for the half-hour drive down the 101 Freeway to Universal.

Ring, ring.

"Tom has a killer migraine."

Perhaps as a result of previous intense bouts with the network, rotten sushi, and/or bad posture.

The last one was a dilly.  We walked out the front door and even waited momentarily.  The phone remained silent.  Whew.

We got to the front gate of the Universal lot.  As we handed over our names to the clipboarded guard, he impeded our forward motion.

"Hold it right there.  I have a message for you."

Duh.

We debated whether we wanted to extend this misery any further.  Maybe next week we would get as far as the reception area.  Or maybe even his office where we could stare at his empty desk and some photo of Roseanne Barr with a moustache drawn on it.  We decided it wasn't worth the trouble and we told our agent so.

"That's okay, guys.  He was just looking to hire some writers he could beat up."

Oh.

Frankly, if we wanted to be physically abused, we could have stuck with Tony Lo Bianco.  If we were looking for that kind of treatment, we wanted to go with the expert.

Dinner last night:  Smoked beef sausage and pickled beets.

Classic Newsreel of the Month - November 2021

 And back in 1942....

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Did You See That Billboard?!

 

Dinner last night:  Leftover meat loaf and salad.

Let Us Not Forget

 

At last.  An original holiday.   On a Thursday.   It has not been moved to a Monday so some fat, paper-pushing, barely-got-through-high-school Government bureaucrat slob could get a three day weekend.  

Remember today who so gallantly served this country in its quest to gain and maintain democracy.  Despite what you may think, it was not a waste of their time and lives.

Dinner last night:  Leftover meat loaf.

This Date in History - November 10

 

Will I explain why there is a picture of Groucho Marx' TV announcer George Fenneman?  You bet your life.

1520:  DANISH KING CHRISTIAN II EXECUTES DOZENS OF PEOPLE IN THE STOCKHOLM BLOODBATH AFTER A SUCCESSFUL INVASION OF SWEDEN.

Who the hell invades Sweden?  What did they ever do to anybody?

1619:  RENE DESCARTES HAS THE DREAMS THAT INSPIRE HIS 'MEDITATIONS ON FIRST PHILOSOPHY." 

If I had dreams like that, I'd probably sleep right through them.

1775:  THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS IS FOUNDED AT TUN TAVERN IN PHILADELPHIA BY SAMUEL NICHOLAS.

It figures they were started by some drunk.  Had this not mattered, Jim Nabors wouldn't have had a TV series for five seasons.

1793:  A GODDESS OF REASON IS PROCLAIMED BY THE FRENCH CONVENTION AT THE SUGGESTION OF CHAUMETTE.

Despite what you may be thinking, it was not Oprah.  And wasn't Chaumette the inventor of the paper plate?

1865:  MAJOR HENRY WIRZ, THE SUPERINTENDENT OF A PRISON CAMP IN ANDERSONVILLE, GEORGIA, IS HANGED, BECOMING THE ONLY AMERICAN CIVIL WAR SOLDIER EXECUTED FOR WAR CRIMES.

Given how many people died in this war, the fact that there was only one war criminal is pretty amazing.

1871:  HENRY MORTON STANLEY LOCATES MISSING EXPLORER AND MISSIONARY DR. DAVID LIVINGSTONE NEAR LAKE TANGANYIKA, ALLEGEDLY GREETING HIM WITH THE WORDS " DR. LIVINGSTONE, I PRESUME?"

Does anybody wonder if Dr. Livingstone actually wanted to be found?  These days, he might simply amp up his privacy settings on Facebook.

1871:  WINSTON CHURCHILL IS BORN.

And he's very happy to learn of the discovery of Dr. Livingstone earlier in the day.

1898:  THIS MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE WILMINGTON INSURRECTION OF 1898, THE ONLY INSTANCE OF A MUNICIPAL GOVERNMENT BEING OVERTHROWN IN US HISTORY.

Until June of 2020.

1919:  THE FIRST NATIONAL CONVENTION OF THE AMERICAN LEGION IS HELD IN MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA.

At the very first American Legion hall.  Well known for kegs of beers and heaping mounds of cole slaw served on Chaumette, I mean, Chinette plates.

1919:  TV ANNOUNCER GEORGE FENNEMAN IS BORN.

His father was not available as he was attending the first national convention of the American Legion.

1923:  WORLD FAMOUS DOG HACHIKO IS BORN.

So world famous that I don't know who the fuck Hachiko is.

1925:  ACTOR RICHARD BURTON IS BORN.

And immediately started a bar tab.

1932:  ACTOR ROY SCHEIDER IS BORN.

And immediately went to look for a bigger boat.

1951:  DIRECT DIAL COAST-TO-COAST TELEVISION SERVICE BEGINS IN THE UNITED STATES.

And now the William Morris Office in Beverly Hills must develop all new reasons for avoiding their New York-based clients.

1959:  ACTRESS MACKENZIE PHILLIPS IS BORN.

Taking it one day at a time.

1969:  SESAME STREET DEBUTS.

Providing a great way to get a bunch of Muppets off the unemployment lines.

1975:  THE FREIGHTER SS EDMUND FITZGERALD SINKS DURING A STORM ON LAKE SUPERIOR.

And, after that, we got stuck with that dreadful song from Gordon Lightfoot.

1992:  ACTOR CHUCK CONNORS DIES.

Aw, he wasn't so tough.

2006:  ACTOR JACK PALANCE DIES.

And neither was he.

Dinner last night:  Leftover meat loaf.

Morons of the Month - November 2021

 

One month.  Just one month.   I would like to be able to nominate somebody non-political as my moron/morons of the month.   But, wretched politicians are the gifts that just keep on giving.

Well, it is November and it was Election Day.   Might as well spotlight some of the scum running our government.  Or pretending to do so.

The good news is that there are large parts of the electorate who are coming to their senses.   Virginia and an amazing close race in New Jersey were a good start.  I truly believe this is really a country of moderation.   Racism is not rampant.   Our citizens are, by and large, civil and good.   But, thanks to the idiots on social media and mainstream media, the talking point is that you and I are basically evil.   

Indeed, the guy in charge is not really in charge.  Anybody, regardless of which aisle you prefer, can see that he has cognitive issues.   Doctors who watch him on TV can diagnose all the warning symbols.   He was the Trojan horse that opened the Oval Office to the real handlers.   And the heartless bastard controlling the strings in the photo above is likely one of them.

The friends on my social media pages who were oh, so vocal last year are amazingly quiet these days.  Posting pictures of cute cats and dogs.   Ignoring what is going on.    

Once again, look around you.   These are the morons that walk among us.  So, if you are one of the folks who doubled down when you heard about what happened this past Election Day...enjoy your stupidity.   

And I am guessing the spotlight will be even brighter next November.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese food.