Your Weekend Movie Guide for August 2022

 

Oooooh!  It's a ballroom now.

Here's another movie theater NYC forgot to save.   Admittedly, it wasn't an old movie palace.   But it echoed the memories of one and the theater inside was glorious and grand and giant.   Plus I got to see some great revivals there..."Spartacus"..."Vertigo"..."My Fair Lady"..."Lawrence of Arabia."

But, yep, we need another place to dance.   Oh, well, let's see what's playing at the future dance halls in your neighborhood.   You know the drill, gang.   I'll sift through what's left of the movie pages in the LA Times and give you my gut reaction to what's on those big screens.

And, sadly, one of those big canvas won't be found at the Ziegfeld.

Easter Sunday:   Shouldn't this have come out in April?  Starring the incredibly unfunny Jo Koy.

Nope:  My response is the title.

Bullet Train:  Brad Pitt in some action movie.   Obviously he had some legal bills to pay.

DC League of Super Pets:  Just when you thought super heroes hadn't gone far enough.

Thor - Love and Thunder:   For those who prefer their super heroes to be human.

Minions - The Rise of Gru:   Isn't Minion a Jewish term for a meeting?

Where The Crawdads Sing:   Isn't that the hillbilly family that used to show up on "The Andy Griffith Show?"

Elvis:  I hear it's dark and terrible and Elvis has left the theater anyway.

Vengeance:   The way Republicans are approaching the midterm election?

Black Phone:   Obviously pre-Princess phone.

Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris:   Without me.

Marcel The Shell with Shoes On:   Is this one of those titles you have to say five times fast?

A Love Song:   I disconnected at "A."

Bodies Bodies Bodies:   A horror movie, I suppose.   And hope.

Mack and Rita:  A 30 year-old channels herself as a 70 year-old who looks like Diane Keaton.  Oh, wait, it is Diane Keaton!

Fall:   Two idiots climb to the top of a radio tower and can't get down.   Pray for a lightning strike.

Emily the Criminal:   A woman who can't find a job goes into credit card fraud.  Don't we all?

Summering:  Middle schoolers enjoy their time off.  I used to as well.

Emergency Declaration:  One of those airplane disaster movies except with a Korean cast.   No dogs were harmed during the making of this film.   Oh, sure, right.

Back to the Drive-In:   A documentary about people returning to drive-ins during the pandemic.   Except this won't be playing at one.

Day Shift:   Jamie Foxx as a pool cleaner by day and vampire killer at night.  It's sad that this economy forces you to take two jobs.

Dinner last night:  Salad.