1098: ASSASSINATION OF ALBOIN, KING OF THE LOMBARDS.
Who? What? No clue.
1360: MUHAMMED VI BECOMES THE TENTH NASRID KING OF GRANADA AFTER KILLING HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW ISMAIL II.
Who? What? No clue.
1461: EDWARD IV IS CROWNED KING OF ENGLAND.
Aren't they all?
1519: CHARLES V IS ELECTED EMPEROR OF THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE.
It's a big day to be a monarch.
1776: THE BATTLE OF SULLIVAN'S ISLAND ENDS WITH THE AMERICAN VICTORY IN THE AMERICAN REVOLUTIONARY WAR LEADING TO THE COMMEMORATION OF CAROLINA DAY.
And I missed this day in American History class.
1776: THOMAS HICKEY, CONTINENTAL ARMY PRIVATE AND BODYGUARD TO GENERAL GEORGE WASHINGTON, IS HANGED FOR MUTINY AND SEDITION.
Hickey has something around his neck.
1838: CORONATION OF QUEEN VICTORIA OF THE UNITED KINGDOM.
More crowns today. Jeez.
1846: ADOLPHE SAX PATENTS THE SAXOPHONE.
Everything You Wanted to Know About Sax.
1855: SIGMA CHI FRATERNITY IS FOUNDED IN NORTH AMERICA.
When's the beer pong tournament?
1880: AUSTRALIAN BUSHRANGER NED KELLY IS CAPTURED AT GLENROWAN.
And a bushranger does what?
1894: LABOR DAY BECOMES AN OFFICIAL US HOLIDAY.
Paging Jerry Lewis.
1902: THE US CONGRESS PASSES THE SPOONER ACT, AUTHORIZING PRESIDENT TEDDY ROOSEVELT TO ACQUIRE RIGHTS FROM COLOMBIA FOR THE PANAMA CANAL.
Dig we must.
1914: ARCHDUKE FRANZ FERDINAND OF AUSTRIA AND HIS WIFE SOPHIE ARE ASSASSINATED IN SARAJEVO. THIS MARKS ONE OF THE FIRST SALVOS OF WORLD WAR I.
What did Sophie do to anybody?
1919: THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES IS SIGNED, ENDING THE STATE OF WAR BETWEEN GERMANY AND THE ALLIES OF WORLD WAR I.
The Krauts will return shortly.
1926: MERCEDES-BENZ IS FORMED BY GOTTLIEB DAIMLER AND KARL BENZ MERGING THEIR TWO COMPANIES.
But who's the one married to Mercedes?
1926: DIRECTOR MEL BROOKS IS BORN.
The same day as the Mercedes-Benz. And they're both still around.
1932: ACTOR PAT MORITA IS BORN.
Wax on, wax off.
1941: BASEBALL PITCHER AL DOWNING IS BORN.
Met him once. Nice guy.
1942: WORLD WAR II - NAZI GERMANY STARTS ITS STRATEGIC SUMMER OFFENSIVE AGAINST THE SOVIET UNION, CODENAMED CASE BLUE.
Like I said above with all that Treaty of Versailles business.
1950: KOREAN WAR - SEOUL IS CAPTURED BY NORTH KOREAN TROOPS.
Who's got Seoul?
1964: MALCOLM X FORMS THE ORGANIZATION OF AFRO-AMERICAN UNITY.
Good thing his dues are only paid for one year.
1969: STONEWALL RIOTS BEGIN IN NEW YORK CITY, MARKING THE START OF THE GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT.
Annual June parade to come.
1975: PRODUCER ROD SERLING DIES.
Yeah, what dimension are you entering now?
1978: THE US SUPREME COURT, IN REGENTS OF THE UNIVERSITY VS. BAKKE, BARS QUOTA SYSTEMS IN COLLEGE ADMISSIONS.
Well, then, how come lots of places are still doing this?
1997: IN BOXING, MIKE TYSON IS DISQUALIFIED IN THE THIRD ROUND FOR BITING A PIECE OFF EVANDER HOLYFIELD'S EAR.
Should have marinated first.
2015: COMIC JACK CARTER DIES.
My grandmother never liked him.
Dinner last night: Hamburger.
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