Monday Morning Video Laugh - July 7, 2014

Children come in all ages.

Dinner last night:  Kobe beef hot dog at Blue Plate.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Summers of Stars

Holy shit!

I'm looking at the internet and rubbing my eyes.  This could have been a photo that my father took with that damn Argus Technicolor camera of his.  Because I clearly remember this image on the Boardwalk at Atlantic City.  We went to see this show.

After seeing the "Jersey Boys" movie last weekend, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I had actually seen Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons perform.  At the Steel Pier that you see above.  And at Freedomland in the Bronx.  I don't know how I had forgotten this, but the movie and the music jogged my memory.

My mom was a big fan and wouldn't miss seeing them.   And, of course, it was during the summer at Atlantic City that we actually went to see somebody perform live.

Back in the day, my family didn't venture out beyond the local movie theater when it came to entertainment.  Heck, I didn't see my first Broadway show until I was 15.  I didn't go to my first rock concert until I was in college.  The closest I had come to seeing stars in person was when they showed up for a ten minute walk-on during a movie promotional tour that landed at one of the Mount Vernon movie theaters.  That was as close as we ever got. 

I wonder now if this caused an issue between my parents.  My mom was a big fan of top 40 music.  She went out to buy the 45 rpm discs of all the big hits.  She sang along to them while she cleaned the house.

Music was a big deal to her.

My dad?  Meh.  

He would listen to nothing but WNEW AM 1130 on the car radio.   And then tune into the Polka Party on WFUV every Saturday night.  That was it.

So, another question that goes begging for an answer through the ages is whether my parents ever went to see a musical star perform in person.  I'll never know the answer.   My guess is...no.  Nein.  Nyet.

And this makes our summer vacations in Atlantic City even more important.  And it explains now to me why my mother always seemed to be focusing on who was appearing at the Steel Pier while we were there.

She'd call ahead weeks before to find out.  The entire vacation, usually accompanied by another family, was planned around the performance schedule at the Steel Pier.  It was tricky since stars only showed up there for two or three days at a time.  They would then move on.  If your vacation was ill-timed, you'd be stuck with some dog.   But, not with my mom handling the logistics.

And that's how we ended up seeing Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons on the Boardwalk at Atlantic City.  The place was jammed.  Me and the rest of the kids got dragged along.  My dad and the representative male figure of the other family?  My guess is that they passed the time in a nearby gin mill.

And here's yet another photo that my dad could have taken.  Because on a subsequent summer, Mom got to see Paul Anka at the same venue.  There was a meet-and-greet line.  I shook Paul Anka's hand.  I was probably eight years old.  I was already taller than him.

Lo and behold, there was one more summer and one more concert at the Steel Pier.  Mom called ahead.  Who was on the schedule for our week in the sun and the surf?

Lawrence Welk and the Lennon Sisters.

You would have thought my family hit the million dollar lotto.  The show that played on two...count 'em...two different TV sets in my house every Saturday.  And we would be seeing them live.

Naturally, I was bored out of my skull.

But, of all people to make an appearance for the show?  My father.  Lawrence Welk was sacred.  He was German.  He played polka music.  That was good enough for him.  Two degrees of separation for my dad.

We got an added bonus when the Freedomland amusement park opened just ten minutes from our house in Mount Vernon, New York.   It was a foolhardy attempt by some idiot to recreate Disneyland.  In. The. Bronx.  But, since there was no freakin' way that my family was going to get to Anaheim, California any time soon, we sucked in the swamp air of Freedomland on multiple summer nights. 

They had a musical band shell at Freedomland and suddenly the Steel Pier was at our doorsteps.  Mom regularly checked the newspapers to see who was appearing.  One night, we ventured out to see Frank Fontaine, who played "Crazy Guggenheim" on the old Jackie Gleason Show.

Okay, going by the picture, you know his act was an acquired taste.  But he was on the Gleason Show.  We watched the Gleason Show.  We went.  My father was a fan.  He showed up, too.

A month later, my mother was on the moon again.  Coming to Freedomland:  Frankie Valli and the Four Season.  I didn't understand the reason for a repeat viewing.  I questioned the outing.  Mom was not hearing a thing.

"Don't argue with me.  We're going."

Yes, ma'am.

One year later, guess who showed up at Freedomland.   The bubble king and those four sisters.   We're not, are we?

"Don't argue with me.  We're going."

This time, an appearance by Lawrence Welk ten minutes away from where we lived emptied out the whole house.   My grandmother and grandfather came along.  This was monumental.   The only places they really went were the supermarket, the bank, and the doctor.

It was odd seeing Grandma and Grandpa out amongst the living.  In an amusement park, no less.

I don't remember much about the performance that night, except I probably dozed off two or twenty times.  Indeed, the oldest generation was not impressed.

"He looks better on television."

Given that their TV set only got black and white, that didn't say much for Mr. Welk's complexion.

"Next time we stay home."

And, as far as I can remember, that was the last concert we ever went to as a family.

Dinner last night:  Turkey reuben at Blue Plate.

 

 

Classic TV Commercial of the Month - July 2014

Oh, look who Grandpa used to be.

Dinner last night:  Cheddar chili bratwurst at the Hollywood Bowl.

Mugged on the Fourth of July

Today we celebrate our independence.   These people can't.

That holiday sparkler got a little too close.

What's a little holiday spittle amongst friends?

Here, let me help you see the fireworks.

 IRB1??   Anybody?

I bet he was arrested for shoplifting some sunglasses.

That outfit went out back in the days of Miriam Makeba.

The dress alone should get her six months.

Oh, my God!  They've arrested Natalie from The Facts of Life!

"But this hair color looked good on Lucy..."

A horse is a horse, of course, of course...

Shia LaBoeuf wannabe.

If she could only run as fast as that mascara.

Dinner last night:  Leftover tortellini and salad.

Happy Birthday, America...Sort Of

So, tomorrow we celebrate our freedom and independence one more time.  America is 238 years old.  Will we get to 338 years?   Or even 248?

Sad to say, on this Fourth of July, I am not bullish on America.

We are so far removed from what those old geezers designed back in the dirt-covered streets of Philadelphia way back when.  Let's all remember that, at that time, there was the birth of a country and a way of life, not just a Tony Award-winning musical starring William Daniels.

Look around at our existence today.

Freedom of speech?  Meh.  Be careful what you say and who you say it to.   I even have to watch the topics I broach with certain friends.  Say the wrong thing on Facebook and you risk being "unfriended."  And don't even think about uttering anything that is remotely political.

Freedom of opportunity?   Meh.  The rewards of hard work don't go as far as they used to.  We live in a society where mediocrity is not only tolerated, but it's encouraged.   Be just like everybody else.  We're all equal and, if your neighbor is not, we'll make him equal.  Forget the notion that he sits in front of his television set all day with a can of beer.

Freedom of choice?  Meh.  As long as you choose what we approve of.  Laugh at the things we approve of.  Embrace the people we approve of.  Adopt as your beliefs what we approve of. 

Freedom of religion?  Meh.  I'm Old School.  This is a nation that was originally built on this concept, which was rooted in Christianity.  So, okay, we have an open door policy to accept all other comers.  Jews, Muslims, Atheists.  You name it.  We have welcomed them all and bent over backwards to do so.  I've got no argument for that.   Except the one religion now looked down upon in America 2014?  Christianity.  Go figure.

We live in a nation that features democracy, yet it is wasted now on a populace that has been dumbed down to the lowest common denominator.  How did we get there?  Look no further than our elected officials.  Republican.  Democrat.  They're all the same.  Worried only about getting a job and then promising the world to keep it.  None of them care.  From the lowest city supervisor all the way to the current President now trolling the White House.  They are equal all in their audacity.  

I've asked a British friend a number of times whether England would be interested in taking the United States back.  I mean, after almost 250 years, we've certainly made a large mess of things.  Maybe what we need to right the ship is a good, old fashioned monarch.  

She didn't think England would be interested.  

Oh, well.

Spend tomorrow reading the Declaration of Independence.  If you've got some extra time, take a gander at the Constitution as well.  You'll see just how far we've come from the original business model of this country.  

And perhaps shed a tear.

Dinner last night:  German salami sandwich on pretzel bread.

     

This Date in History - July 2

Happy birthday, Lindsay Lohan.   From the looks of it, this could be your last.

437:  EMPEROR VALENTINIAN III BEGINS HIS REIGN OVER THE WESTERN ROMAN EMPIRE.  

Who's running the Eastern Roman Empire?

626:  LI SHIMIN, THE FUTURE EMPEROR TAIZONG OF TANG, AMBUSHES AND KILLS HIS RIVAL BROTHER LI YUANJI AND LI JIANCHENG IN THE XUANWU GATE INCIDENT.

Hey, that sentence is one helluva of a typing test.

963: THE IMPERIAL ARMY PROCLAIMS NICEPHORUS PHOCAS EMPEROR OF THE ROMANS ON THE PLAINS OUTSIDE CAPPADOCIAN CAESAREA. 

Typing test, following semester.

1555:  THE OTTOMAN ADMIRAL TURGUT REIS SACKS THE ITALIAN CITY OF PAOLA.

Paola?  Didn't that impact the record industry?

1561:  MENAS, EMPEROR OF ETHIOPIA, DEFEATS A REVOLT IN EMFRAZ.

No joke to type.   Fingers need a rest after the last couple of dates.

1582:  DURING THE BATTLE OF YAMAZAKI, TOYOTOMI HIDEYOSHI DEFEATS AKECHI MITSUHIDE.

Toyotomi Cares.

1679:  EUROPEANS FIRST VISIT MINNESOTA AND SEE HEADWATERS OF MISSISSIPPI IN AN EXPEDITION.

But did they stop at the Mall of America?

1698:  THOMAS SAVERY PATENTS THE FIRST STEAM ENGINE.

Choo choo.

1776:  THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS ADOPTS A RESOLUTION SEVERING TIES WITH THE KINGDOM OF BRITAIN ALTHOUGH THE THE OFFICIAL WORDING OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE IS NOT APPROVED UNTIL JULY 4.

Well, there's always a first draft.

1777:  VERMONT BECOMES THE FIRST AMERICAN TERRITORY TO ABOLISH SLAVERY.

For all those slaves tapping trees to make maple syrup.

1822:  35 BLACK SLAVES ARE HANGED IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

They should have moved to Vermont when they had the chance.

1839: TWENTY MILES OFF THE COAST OF CUBA, 53 REBELLING AFRICAN SLAVES TAKE OVER THE SLAVE SHIP AMISTAD.

They should have also taken over the production of Amistad, that awful Steven Spielberg movie.

1881:  CHARLES J. GUITEAU SHOOTS AND FATALY WOUNDS US PRESIDENT JAMES GARFIELD, WHO EVENTUALLY DIES FROM AN INFECTION ON SEPTEMBER 19.

Do you remember where you were when Garfield was shot?

1897:  ITALIAN SCIENTIST GUGLIELMO MARCONI OBTAINS A PATENT FOR RADIO IN LONDON.

It will never last.

1900:  THE FIRST ZEPPELIN FLIGHT TAKES PLACE IN GERMANY.

Where else?

1932:  WENDY'S FOUNDER DAVE THOMAS IS BORN.

Here's the beef.

1937:  AMELIA EARHART AND NAVIGATOR FRED NOONAN ARE LAST HEARD FROM OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN WHILE ATTEMPTING TO MAKE THE FIRST EQUATORIAL ROUND-THE-WORLD FLIGHT.

And they'll find her sooner than they will find that damn Malaysian plane.

1937:  ACTRESS POLLY HOLLIDAY IS BORN.

Kiss her grits.

1947:  LUCI BAINES JOHNSON IS BORN.  

She's the one who dated George Hamilton, right?  But, then again, who didn't?

1962:  THE FIRST WAL-MART OPENS FOR BUSINESS IN ARKANSAS.

Again...where else?

1964:  US PRESIDENT LYNDON B. JOHNSON SIGNS THE CIVIL RIGHTS ACT OF 1964.

A nice way to spend your daughter's birthday.

1973:  ACTRESS BETTY GRABLE DIES.

But the legs?   What about the legs???

1986:  ACTRESS LINDSAY LOHAN IS BORN.

And was immediately arrested.

1991:  ACTRESS LEE REMICK DIES.

Days of Wine and Corpses.

1993:  ACTOR FRED GWYNNE DIES.

Hearse 54, Where Are You?

1997:  ACTOR JAMES STEWART DIES.

Mr. Hobbs Takes a Very Long Vacation.

1999:  AUTHOR MARIO PUZO DIES.

The author of the infamous Page 27 of the Godfather.

2002:  STEVE FOSSETT BECOMES THE FIRST PERSON TO FLY SOLO AROUND THE WORLD NONSTOP IN A BALLOON.

So Amelia Earhart should have taken a balloon instead?

2006:  COMEDIAN JAN MURRAY DIES.

X gets the casket.

2007:  OPERA SINGER BEVERLY SILLS DIES.

Her last solo.

Dinner last night:  Bratwurst sandwich at the Dodger game.

Not The Ones By Vivaldi

Before we get into the teeth of this movie review, I've got to rant a bit.

I was recently reading some other critiques of the new movie, "Jersey Boys," directed by Clint Eastwood.   Twice in the body of the reviews, I saw this expression.

"The Republican filmmaker."

Huh?

Can somebody please tell me what Clint Eastwood's political persuasion even remotely has to do with the success or failure of "Jersey Boys" as an entertainment event?  Has this what America has come to?  Because Eastwood had the audacity to make an appearance at the last Republican Convention and do that "empty chair" bit, his film work will be now judged accordingly?  Has all his Oscar-caliber work now discounted because of the lever he pulls every November?

Welcome to America in 2014.  Be careful what you believe in.  If folks disagree with you, they might hate you for it.  A country now controlled by extreme bickering from two sides of the aisle. 

What the hell is wrong with this picture? 

Lots.

Much more than what you can find wrong in his latest movie for what it was designed to be.  The movie version of a very successful and crowd pleasing Broadway show about the Four Seasons.  No, not the classical piece.

Indeed, whether Clint be a Republican, a Democrat, or a full-blown Marxist, he shows a lot of guts for trying to mount this production.  It's almost a guaranteed recipe for failure.  Whenever you do the movie version of anything, you're going to hear the usual comparisons.

"The book was better."

"The play was better."

"The movie was better."   You usually hear that when a film is turned into a TV show.

Whatever the case, the odds are always against you.  Especially when you have the rousing template of Broadway's "Jersey Boys."  It's still selling out on the Great White Way.   There are probably a thousand touring companies.  It's been staged in Vegas, albeit in a ninety-minute version.  Why?  People who go to Las Vegas have very short attention spans.  Also, the casinos don't want you wasting your time at a show when you could be plugging money into their slot machines.

But, I digress.  Again.

I saw "Jersey Boys" in its first Los Angeles incarnation and found it to be a wildly energetic night at the theater.  When I heard that it was being filmed, I wondered how it could translate successfully.  Especially at the hands of Clint Eastwood.  Admittedly, Eastwood is always adept at telling a story.  But, what would he do with this?  It could wind up as a Doo Wop version of "Unforgiven."

So, I can safely announce that...yes, the show is better than the movie.  But, not by much.

On a screen, you certainly can't replicate the live-right-there-in-front-of-you-energy that you get on the stage.  I mean, the theatrical production number where Frankie Valli first solos with that gaggle of horns is so dynamic that it just might be one of the most exciting moments I've ever spent in the theater.  "Jersey Boys" on celluloid can't top that.

But it can try.  And, with all the effort in front of and behind the camera, "Jersey Boys' on film does its best.  And, as a result, it's the most worthwhile time you can spent in a movie theater this summer.  There are no Transformers, special effects, and doomsday scenarios.  There is simply a story about the rise and ultimate fall of one of the 60s most memorable musical groups.  And that's more than enough to put a smile on my face.

Sure, you want the musical numbers to run a little longer.  Yes, the film is about fifteen minutes too long, but that's a helluva lot better than most everything else which is 45 minutes too long.  And, of course, you don't get the same power that you did on Broadway.  

But, still, the almost 85-year-old Eastwood pulls it off.  Because he's an expert filmmaker who knows a compelling story when he sees one.   Coupled with the legendary hit sounds from the musical group, you really can't go wrong with anything "Jersey Boys."

Eastwood even makes the bold move of hiring veritable Hollywood unknowns to fill out the cast.  Indeed, most are Broadway veterans, even though they are not household names.  As a matter of fact, Clint even installs John Lloyd Young in the lead role of Frankie Valli.  Who?   Well, the guy originated the role on Broadway and won the damn Tony Award, that's who.  So, he gets the courtesy that Angela Lansbury didn't get when they did the screen version of "Mame" and the courtesy that Carol Channing didn't get when they did the screen version of "Hello Dolly."  Thank God we have been spared hearing "Rag Doll" as sung by Tom Cruise.

So, it works and, regardless of whether you saw it on stage or not, please put "Jersey Boys" on your summer movie going list.  Frankly, as I look at the marquees on the local multiplex, it was the only thing on my summer movie going list.

LEN'S RATING:  Three and a half stars.

Dinner last night:  Tortellini and chicken meatballs.