Monday Morning Video Laugh - January 20, 2025

 On his last day in office, shall we bid a fond farewell to...

Dinner last night:  Swiss Steak.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Afterschool Snacking

 

These days, all kids have to do is walk ten feet from their remote learning classroom to the fridge.  But, back in the real days... 

After a grueling day of arithmetic, there was nothing more exciting and inviting than getting that wonderful afterschool snack. And, I'm not talking about the dried fruit chips or the healthy apple that soccer moms today insist on. Nope, I'm talking about the out-and-out gross "mega calories from fat" treat that you could only pull off the racks from your favorite mom-and-pop grocery store. Screw the healthy stuff. Bring me the sugar-laden pastries. Besides, my mom was at work and miles away from our bowl of fruit.

Every afternoon, my neighborhood chum Leo and I would take whatever change we had in our pockets and head "around the corner." Now, we had two grocery stores at our convenience. Some butcher named Gene ran one and that was more of a place your mom would shop for dinner. Fresh meats and lots of canned vegetables. Not Del Monte or Libby's. Gene offered up the bargain basement variety of canned peas. By some company called Krasdale. If you were lucky, the creamed corn might have actually been vacuum packed within the past five years.

Since Gene's grocery was light on the heavy snacks, we always ventured a few storefronts down First Street to Charlie's Delicatessen. He had racks upon racks of baked goods, chips, and anything that was unreasonably bad for you. Besides, Charlie was a German guy and my family always preferred for me to patronize the "Dutchman." If there had been an Italian-run grocery store in our area, I'm sure Leo's parents would preferred he go there instead. But, I digress...

Charlie's snack racks definitely had to be on my dentist's hit list. There was nothing good there. At the same time, it was all good. Yummy, filling, and the type of food that just manufactured fat cells in your body. I had a few favorites.

Any bag of Tom's Chips was not one of them. In those days, you judged the merits of a grocery store by the brand of potato chips they offered. And you didn't mix brands. If you sold Tom's Chips, the store was low class. Probably in a crappy neighborhood. If you sold Wise Potato Chips, you were the equivalent of Nordstrom's in my eyes. Charlie had Wise. Done deal.

Actually, if I was in the mood for a non-sweet treat, I loved Cheez Waffles. Little salty waffle-like cracker sandwiches with "cheese" in the middle. I rationalized that this was all healthy, so it was okay to wolf down a whole bag. How many daily food requirements would I be meeting? Dairy, grain, starch. Cheez Waffles had it all. A complete meal all in itself. Except that probably wasn't real cheese. Or even Cheez Whiz. I didn't care. I chomped down on them nonetheless.

For the everyday sweet tooth and the future day cavity, there were Yodels. By the wonderful Drake's Cake company, which hopefully has a franchise in the afterlife. Admittedly, I probably haven't had a Drake's product since I was 10. No worries, before I hit that age, I consumed a lifetime supply. Yodels were these little chocolate and cream roll-ups. Dipped in even more chocolate. And you had to lick the wrapper because usually the chocolate had melted to that as well. You needed a bath after eating a package. The smarter kids in my neighborhood knew one thing. You didn't dare buy Yodels during the summer.

These chocolate hockey pucks went by different names. Sometimes, they were Ring Dings. Other times, they were Ding Dongs. The brand name was a variety of iterations on the bell concept. I didn't care. They always hit the spot. Now, Drake's did offer one twist on the Ring Ding/Ding Dong and that was a winner. Instead of the devil's food cake inside, there were a version with yellow cake and it was delicious. Always preferred, but rare to find. I apparently lived in a devil's food neighborhood.

To wash it all down, there was Yoo Hoo. The drink of champions. It was good enough for Yogi Berra. It was damn good enough for us. And there was even more rationalization at play here. After all, this was a milk product, right? And kids are supposed to drink more milk, right? Isn't that what President Kennedy just told us? This is probably why my dentist voted for Richard Nixon.

For some mystical reason, my Saturday afternoon purchase was always reserved for one very special snack.

A Slim Jim. Actually, two. Back then, they weren't that long. Probably six inches in length. I figured this was my protein requirement for the week. Because it was meat, right? Right????

I savored my two Slim Jims so much that I would eat them slowly. Craving every nitrate, morsel by morsel, as it slid down to whatever part of my stomach would try to process it. Every week, I'd run to Charlie's, get my Slim Jims, and then plop down in front of Grandma's TV to watch Charlie Chan Mystery Theater on Channel 5, Metromedia in New York. And I would slowly ease the "meat" out of the Slim Jims. I could make the two of them last for the entire show.

Truth be told, I still, from rare time to rare time, buy a Slim Jim. One day, I took it home and popped a Charlie Chan movie on the DVD.

It wasn't the same.

I went into the kitchen and got myself a fresh Bartlett pear.

Dinner last night: Orange chicken.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - January 2025

 Sixty years ago, this was on primetime NBC.  My name...Jose Jimenez.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Attention: Walmart Shoppers

 

The sad thing is that he probably knew the pants were ripped when he put them on.

You can't spell "thong" without the letters t-o-n.

Usually, the road kill is underneath your car.

A homage to that old Dan Aykroyd SNL sketch about the appliance repairman.

Perhaps that text message is saying "YOU WENT OUT LIKE THAT??"

This is what they call a "ghetto fix."

Now that's what I call bloomers.

Tu tu pathetic.

A little less attitude and a lot less potato chips.

This hair do really sucks.

Dinner last night:  Salisbury steak.

The Best Film of 2025

 

Should I make such a bold statement when we are only 2 weeks into the year? Well, given Hollywood's current track record for turning out junk, it will be interesting to revisit this blog review at the end of the year.

"September 5" is that good. Indeed, I went to see it last weekend as a means to ditch all the depressing news about the Los Angeles wild fires.   Think about that. I needed a movie about the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre to be a diversion.

This film is a totally fascinating look at the ABC Sports control room on that fateful 1972 day when they had to report on the terrorist act that took over those Olympics.  As a matter of fact, I would say 90 percent of the movie takes place in that control room, which is being run by a young producer named Geoff Mason.  He has to navigate through philosophical arguments on what to show and not show.  Several real-life folks are depicted, such as Roone Arledge and Peter Jennings.   Most of the people there that day have passed on.  But Mason is still around and this amps up the authenticity of the film.

The ABC anchor that day, Jim McKay, is shown so frequently and serves as a vital character.  He is not depicted by an actor, but his presence makes us feel that he is still alive and with us...a remarkable feat by director and co-writer Tim Fehlbaum.  And this movie, at a tight 90 minute running length, is as efficient as a story can be.  There is not a wasted word or frame.

I see that "September 5" was originally released in December, which means it might be eligible for Oscar consideration.   We should be so lucky.  Still, it probably will be my Best Picture pick for this year or next.

LEN'S RATING:  Four stars.

Dinner last night:  Hot dogs.

This Date in History - January 15

 

Happy birthday to Margaret O'Brien.  Whatever Judy tells you, don't take the green pills in her hand.

69:  OTHO SEIZES POWER IN ROME, PROCLAIMING HIMSELF EMPEROR OF ROME, BUT RULES FOR ONLY THREE MONTHS BEFORE COMMITTING SUICIDE.

So, Otho, it wasn't what you thought, heh?

1493:  CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS SETS SAIL FOR SPAIN, ENDING HIS TRIP TO THE NEW WORLD.

That must have racked up some hotel bill.

1559:  ELIZABETH I IS CROWNED QUEEN OF ENGLAND IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY OF LONDON.

Elizabeth the Originator.

1759:  THE BRITISH MUSEUM OPENS.

Finally giving British school children some place to go on a field trip.

1777:  DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, NEW CONNECTICUT DECLARES ITS INDEPENDENCE.   IT LATER BECOMES VERMONT.

And Old Connecticut can now just be regular Connecticut.

1782:  SUPERINTENDENT OF FINANCE ROBERT MORRIS GOES BEFORE THE US CONGRESS TO RECOMMEND ESTABLISHMENT OF A NATIONAL MINT AND COINAGE.

So this is the idiot who invented the penny???

1822:  DURING THE GREEK WAR OF INDEPENDENCE, DEMETRIOS YPSILANTIS IS ELECTED PRESIDENT.

And later opens up a diner on Northern Boulevard in Queens.

1844:  THE UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME RECEIVES ITS CHARTER FROM THE STATE OF INDIANA.

Regis Philbin was there for the signing.

1870:  A POLITICAL CARTOON FOR THE FIRST TIME SYMBOLIZES THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY WITH A DONKEY.

And they remain jackasses to this day.

1889:  THE COCA COLA COMPANY IS INCORPORATED IN ATLANTA, GEORGIA.

The incorporation that refreshes.

1892:  JAMES NAISMITH PUBLISHES THE RULES OF BASKETBALL.

There are rules??

1908:  THE ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA SORORITY BECOMES THE FIRST GREEK LETTER ORGANIZATION FOUNDED BY AFRICAN AMERICAN COLLEGE WOMEN.

I have five different jokes.   Please e-mail me privately for specifics.

1909:  DRUMMER GENE KRUPA IS BORN.

Hey, knock off that racket!!

1913:  ACTOR LLOYD BRIDGES IS BORN.

I guess I picked the wrong day to come down a birth canal.

1919:  A LARGE MOLASSES TANK IN BOSTON EXPLODES AND A WAVE OF MOLASSES RUSHES THROUGH THE STREET, KILLING 21 PEOPLE.

Who apparently were slower than to get out of the way.

1927:  ACTRESS PHYLLIS COATES IS BORN.

The other Lois Lane.

1929:  ACTIVIST MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. IS BORN.

And now everybody has a Monday off in January.

1937:  ACTRESS MARGARET O'BRIEN IS BORN.

Meet us at the fair.

1943:  THE PENTAGON IS DEDICATED IN ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA.

It was the world's largest office building.  Amazing for a place that is not a skycraper.

1947:  THE BRUTALIZED CORPSE OF ELIZABETH SHORT (THE BLACK DAHLIA) IS FOUND IN LOS ANGELES.

Paging Lt. Columbo....

1962:  THE DERVENI PAPYRUS, EUROPE'S OLDEST SURVIVING MANUSCRIPT, IS FOUND IN NORTHERN GREECE.

Now that's something to sell on E-bay.

1967:  THE FIRST SUPER BOWL IS PLAYED IN LOS ANGELES.  THE GREEN BAY PACKERS DEFEAT THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS, 35-10.

Back then, there was absolutely no pre-game hype.

1970:  MOAMMAR GADHAFI IS PROCLAIMED PREMIER OF LIBYA.

If they insist...

1973:  CITING PROGRESS IN PEACE NEGOTIATIONS, PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON ANNOUNCES THE SUSPENSION OF OFFENSIVE ACTION IN NORTH VIETNAM.

As if the offense was doing any good.

1976:  GERALD FORD'S WOULD-BE ASSASSIN, SARA JANE MOORE, IS SENTENCED TO LIFE IN PRISON.

That's one off the streets.

1987: ACTOR RAY BOLGER DIES.

The last straw.

2001:  WIKIPEDIA GOES ONLINE FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Thank God.  Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do these Wednesday historical pieces.

2005:  ACTRESS RUTH WARRICK DIES.

All My Corpses.

2009:  US AIRWAYS FLIGHT 1549 MAKES AN EMERGENCY LANDING IN THE HUDSON RIVER.   EVERYBODY SURVIVES.

To this day, Sully is still the ultimate hero.

2019:  ACTRESS CAROL CHANNING DIES.

Goodbye, Dolly.

Dinner last night:   Leftover SPO.

The Small Silver Lining in the Smoky LA Sky

 

Unless you were on Mars...or visiting Ghana...you couldn't ignore the perilous week that Los Angeles had.   And is still having.   

The entire Palisades Village is gone, except for allegedly my dentist's office.  Malibu is partially destroyed.  So are other areas throughout Los Angeles.  And it's one or two degrees of separation for you to know somebody who lost their home.   I know three such people.

Why?

Well, this is all the end result of environmentalists getting their hands on government policies so they could save the planet.   We'll save the planet while killing everything else.   No more controlled burns of brush.  Reduced water pressure with low-flow toilets and showers.  Sure, let's fix a lot of inconsequential stuff while everything burns around us.

There's lot of blame to go around.  But, at the end of the fiery day, let's look at the two idiots pictured above.  Two incompetents that got elected because A/One is Black and B/They both have Ds that follow their names.  Neither one should be working at what they are doing, but A Lister Hollywood helped get them both elected.   By the way, that's the same A Listers who lost homes in the Pacific Palisades.

I've know Mayor Karen Bass was a fraud long before she became Mayor.  You see, for several years, she was my Congressional rep.  On three different occasions, I contacted her office with questions on health care.  No one, even an intern, bothered to contact me.   The unspoken legend is that they ignore citizens if their last name looks "too white."   

Well, despite the fact Bass was told there might be a catastrophic fire event in the coming days, she still got on a plane and flew to Ghana to represent the US as a Presidential inauguration.   

As for the other shithead above, Governor Gavin Newsom and his latent stupidity might finally have sunk him here.   The guy who just loves being glib for the camera can't explain why fire fighters couldn't get water pressure to fight a fire.  But most people, except for the Hollywood A-Listers, tried to get rid of him in a recall two years ago.   If that vote was held today, the outcome might be different.

So, that, my friends, is the small silver lining amid all the smoky ash.  Right now is not a good time to be a Democrat in California.

Dinner last night:  Taylor Ham on English muffin.