Classic TV Commercial of the Month - November 2019

This short-lived sitcom from the folks who gave us "Taxi" was on ABC forty years ago this month.  It lasted thirteen episodes.  It was too smart for the medium.  Look at the stellar cast.

Dinner last night:  A small sandwich at a sitcom taping.

Your Church's Favorite Sign This Autumn

Dinner last night:  Finishing up leftover pot roast.

The Shortest Movie Review You Have Ever Read On This Blog

See the title above?   It will make sense when you read on.  Actually, the story of how I came to see this movie is going to be longer than the review.

Here's the backstory.  A few weeks back, I was in the Arclight Hollywood to see "Judy."  On this Friday night, the entrances to have tickets scanned were much longer than usual.   And populated largely by millennials.  Hmm.   I spied over shoulders to read the name of the movie on their tickets.

"Parasite."

Hmm again.   It was apparently the opening night for the film.  I frankly knew nothing about it, except that it was from the Korean director Bong Joon-Ho.  Hey, wasn't he once a pitcher in the Dodger bullpen?  Wondering even further, I figured that this was perhaps a film derived from a video game or maybe some millennial phone app.  Considering the title, perhaps this was a new genre of a monster flick.

Nevertheless, the movie "Parasite" kept popping up on-line,   It had won the big prize at the last Cannes Film Festival.  It's already being talked up as the next Oscar winner for Best Foreign Film.  Looking at the film poster above, I could not tell a single thing about what the movie was about.

Last week, the curiosity got me.   I went to see "Parasite."

Wow.

And here's where the review starts to get short.   I don't want to spoil anything about this marvelous mystery/comedy/drama/horror movie.  Yep, it touches pretty much all of those categories.  If there is such a word as "Hitchcockian," this film merits it.  

The plot?  There's this very poor family living in a basement hovel.  A dad, a mom, a son and a daughter in their late teens.  Their existence is miserable.  They are stealing wi-fi.  The only money coming in is when they fold boxes for a local pizzeria.  Bums urinate in their windows.   It's ugly.

When approached by a friend, the son takes over a tutoring gig with a young female art student from a very rich family who live in one of those modernistic Jetsons-like homes.   In short, his sister becomes the tutor for the small boy in the family.  Dad manages to get their chauffeur fired and assumes that position.   And, finally, an elaborate plan is devised to get their housekeeper fired and Mom takes over that job.

All of them now entrenched in a rich family that doesn't realize the four of them are from the same family.

It's an intricate and comedic ruse that is successful.  At one point, the rich folks go away on a camping trip.   The poor family uses this opportunity to have a "trash the house" party one rainy night.

And then the fired housekeeper buzzes the front door.  It seems she left something in the panic room down in the secret basement and...

I'll stop here.  It's time for you to board this wonderful roller coaster.   See "Parasite."

LEN'S RATING:  Three-and-a-half stars.  If you're wondering why not four stars, well, there's an ugly set piece in the last scene that bothered me. Otherwise, it's four stars.

Dinner last night:  Leftover pot roast.

This Date in History - November 13

Happy birthday in heaven, Garry Marshall.   This really was your happy day.

1002:  ENGLISH KING ETHELRED II ORDERS THE KILLING OF ALL DANES IN ENGLAND.

Don't you wish there was an "F" in that name for a little "I Love Lucy" tribute?

1160:  LOUIS VII OF FRANCE MARRIES ADELE OF CHAMPAGNE.

I bet he popped her cork.

1775:  DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, PATRIOTS FORCES UNDER GENERAL RICHARD MONTGOMERY OCCUPY MONTREAL, QUEBEC.

And with the girls up there, who wouldn't?

1841:  JAMES BRAID FIRST SEES A DEMONSTRATION OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM, WHICH LEADS TO HIS STUDY OF THE SUBJECT HE EVENTUALLY CALLS HYPNOTISM.

You are sleepy, very sleepy.

1850:  AUTHOR ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON IS BORN.

Had this not happened, I would have had no English literature homework from the sixth grade through the eighth grade.

1851:  THE DENNY PARTY LANDS AT ALKI POINT BEFORE MOVING TO WHAT WOULD BECOME SEATTLE, WASHINGTON.

And I bet the Denny Party knew where it wanted to go for a big breakfast.

1887:  BLOODY SUNDAY CLASHES IN CENTRAL LONDON.

Bloody awful.

1906:  ACTRESS HERMIONE BADDELEY IS BORN.

Mrs. Naugatuck from TV's "Maude."

1918:  ALLIED TROOPS OCCUPY CONSTANTINOPLE, THE CAPITAL OF THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE.

Still stifling that yawn from tenth grade World History.

1922:  TV GAME SHOW HOST JACK NARZ IS BORN.

A two game show host family as his brother is Tom Kennedy....the one you don't say.

1927:  THE HOLLAND TUNNEL IN NEW YORK OPENS TO TRAFFIC.

Key word is "traffic."

1934:  ACTOR/WRITER/DIRECTOR GARRY MARSHALL IS BORN.

He and I once had a conversation while standing in front of urinals at Warner Brothers.

1941: BASEBALL PITCHER/COACH MEL STOTTLEMYRE IS BORN.

He coached that wonderful 1986 New York Mets pitching staff.

1942:  DURING WORLD WAR II, US AND JAPANESE SHIPS ENGAGE IN THE  INTENSE BATTLE OF GUADALCANAL.

Dear Diary....

1947:  THE SOVIET UNION COMPLETES DEVELOPMENT OF THE AK-47, ONE OF THE FIRST ASSAULT RIFLES.

A day cursed by gun control advocates in this country.  So, folks, blame it on the Russkies.

1954:  GREAT BRITAIN DEFEATS FRANCE TO CAPTURE THE FIRST EVER RUGBY LEAGUE WORLD CUP IN PARIS.

I know nothing about this sport, but France lost so all is good.

1956:  THE SUPREME COURT OF THE US DECLARES ALABAMA LAWS REQUIRING SEGREGATED BUSES ILLEGAL, THUS ENDING THE MONTGOMERY BUS BOYCOTT.

Look, if nobody wants to sit in the back, I will.

1974:  DIRECTOR VITTORIO DE SICA DIES.

If you have never seen "The Bicycle Thief," you must.

1974:  RONALD DE FEO HR MURDERS HIS ENTIRE FAMILY IN AMITYVILLE, LONG ISLAND IN THE HOUSE THAT WOULD BECOME KNOWN AS THE AMITYVILLE HORROR.

Already in film pre-production by 1975.

1974:  ACTIVIST KAREN SILKWOOD DIES.

Her personality was always glowing.

1982:  RAY MANCINI DEFEATS DUK KOO JIM AND KILLS HIM IN A LAS VEGAS BOXING MATCH.

I guess the other guy should have duk-ed

1982:  THE VIETNAM VETERANS MEMORIAL IS DEDICATED IN WASHINGTON, DC.

I hear this is a stirring site.  

1983:  COMIC JUNIOR SAMPLES DIES.

Well, we know he didn't die of anorexia.

1989:  HANS-ADAM II, THE PRINCE OF LIECHTENSTEIN, BEGINS HIS REIGN ON THE DEATH OF HIS FATHER.

Who I guess was named Hans-Adam I.

1995:  A TRUCK BOMB EXPLODES OUTSIDE A US-OPERATED SAUDI ARABIAN NATIONAL GUARD TRAINING CENTER IN RIYADH, KILLING FIVE AMERICANS AND TWO INDIANS.  THE ISLAMIC MOVEMENT TAKES RESPONSIBILITY.

Surprised?

1998:  BASKETBALL COACH RED HOLZMAN DIES.

Life's fifth foul.

2001:  IN THE FIRST SUCH ACT SINCE WORLD WAR II, US PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH SIGNS AN EXECUTIVE ORDER ALLOWING MILITARY TRIBUNALS AGAINST FOREIGNERS SUSPECTED OF CONNECTIONS TO TERRORIST ACTS PLANNED AGAINST THE US.

My hand is raised high.  Wait.  I don't get a vote.

2013:  HAWAII LEGALIZES SAME SEX MARRIAGE.

Date'Em, Dan-O.

2014:  BASEBALL STAR ALVIN DARK DIES.

And now it really is....dark.

Dinner last night:  Had a big lunch so just a salad.

This Ain't No Cesar Romero

The title of today's entry says it all.   If you are thinking this Joker is anything like he was in those fun Adam West "Batman" reruns, you clearly have missed the reviews.  Because Todd Phillips' "Joker" is as dark a movie as you can find anywhere.  Indeed, the only smile in this film is the one drawn on the Joker's face.

I am told that this movie, which is all about the back story on how Joker became...well...Joker, is pretty true to the DC comics that created the character.   It's all about this loser named Arthur Fleck, who is one of those clowns (literally) who stands on a street corner twirling a sign.  Fleck has all the earmarks of a screwed-up life, from an invalid mom he lives with to a tic that prompts him to laugh uncontrollably for no reason.

Life sucks for Fleck and where he lives is not helping.  Gotham City, which looks a lot like the graffiti-laden New York of the late 70s, is a hell hole and the upcoming Mayoral election campaign doesn't seem like it will make things better.   You see, the guy running is one of those millionaire fat cats named Thomas Wayne.  Hmmm.  Yes, he does have a small son named Bruce.

Along with some significant anger management issues, Arthur is trying unsuccessfully to juggle a career as a subway vigilante and stand up comic.  With regard to the latter, his lifelong dream is to be on the show that very much resembles the old "Tonight Show" with Robert DeNiro as a host who very much resembles the character DeNiro played years back in "The King of Comedy."

If I am going too fast, trust me.  The movie takes things much, much, much slower.   It really gives you a chance to linger with every grim scenario it brings up.  And that's not always a good thing.   There has been some violence at theaters showing "Joker," but, luckily, my screening only had a couple making out next to me.   They left midway through the movie.

At the core of this all is a tour de force (or farce) performance by Joaquin Phoenix, who is bucking for an Oscar.   Of course, I question where the craziness ends and Phoenix begins, because I hear he's a bit nutty in real life. Whatever.  He milks every screen second in a role that takes him from violent madness to dancing down the same Bronx steps that Rhoda Morgenstern ran up to her wedding.

Since "Joker" is essentially a character study, it does take its time and probably could have lost another 20 minutes or so to the cutting room floor.  I liked it, even though I don't know why.   I can tell you one thing right from the get go.  "Joker" is one movie you see and then not see again.   One time is plenty.   Lots of insanity and violence will do that to a movie goer.

LEN'S RATING:  Three stars.

Dinner last night:  Went to a premiere so just some popcorn.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - November 11, 2019

A truly classic comedy bit from Jack Benny and Mel Blanc.  This probably would be protested today.

Dinner last night:  German pot roast with vegetables.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Thinking About My Movie Palaces, Part 2

This stream of memories all stems from the documentary I saw several weeks ago about the disappearance of those wonderful hometown movie palaces we all used to frequent.   My particular childhood of cinema fandom began in Mount Vernon, New York.   Last weekend, I conjured up some images of Loews' Mount Vernon on Stevens Avenue.   It's now a parking structure for the corrupt City Hall across the street.   

But we were blessed in this then-glorious little metropolis.   We had two palaces.   They were within a block of each other.   

On Gramatan Avenue, you had RKO Proctor's.  It was such a big deal that the office building it lived below was named...wait for it...the Proctor Building.  It still is.  Except as you see below, the theater is nowhere to be found.  The slope under the marquee after you bought your tickets at the box office came with one of those magnificent sensory perceptions.   You weren't even inside yet, but you could already smell the popcorn. 

Last time I was in the now-urban ghetto of Mount Vernon, I thought about stopping and looking inside the so-called Proctor Building.  Was there any evidence of a movie theater existing in that spot?   I so badly wanted to go inside and see if there is anything remotely reminiscent of hours spent as a child.  With Mom.  With Dad.  With my neighborhood pals.  Or, sometimes, all by myself.

On Facebook, there's a forum called "I Grew Up in Mount Vernon."  It's chock full of memories from older folks and dreary discussions from young people trying to determine what their favorite Denzel Washington movie was.

But, from time to time, gold is found.   Amazingly, somebody just posted an unearthed picture of RKO Proctor's in all its movie showing glory.

My heart skips a beat. 
 
I can pinpoint the photo to Christmas of 1947, long before I was eating Pom Poms inside.  The movies on the marquee point came out in the fall of that year.  History tells me there was a big blizzard on December 25 and 26.   Those snow drifts are purely a product of a major snowfall.  You can see a wreath hanging on the bank in the background.

This is my newest version of a time machine.   My mind scurries back to days of old. Or days of young, if you will.

The RKO Proctor’s Mount Vernon theater had a sparkling marquee. When we would walk to the theater, we would not see the lights until we turned the corner. It gave me a complete rush of adrenaline. And, as soon as you were within 50 feet of the movie palace, you could already smell the popcorn. You’d buy your tickets at the box office booth and then head up that steep ramp into the lobby. Not a big one, mind you. But, beyond the popcorn, you had the slowly turning hot dog machine. The frankfurters seemingly flew in the air by themselves.

If I was there with my mother on a Friday afternoon following school, chances are we had already eaten an early dinner at the Bee Hive restaurant. So, my movie treat would be candy and, in those days, the sweet of choice was always a box of Pom Poms.The RKO Proctor’s theater was three levels and, for some bizarre reason, my mother liked the third level which had a slope that was almost as steep as the Shea Stadium upper deck. Oddly enough, if I went there with my father, he preferred the lower level. No wonder my parents didn’t accompany me together. And, that in itself should have explained a lot more to me as well.

Despite the fact that I was a seven or eight year-old movie geek, I rarely sat still for a double feature. In those days, you entered the theater whatever time you got there, regardless of what part of the movie had already started. I can clearly remember coming into some flick for the last ten minutes. Then, we’d see the other movie and then sit through the first movie right up to the very segment where we started.

”This is where we came in.”And we would leave. As if seeing the final ten minutes again would have detracted from my family’s busy schedule. But, I digress…

When boredom set in, I liked to roam the bowels of the theater. They had wonderful ramps between the levels that were just ideal for running. Until, of course, you met up with the enemy.

The dreaded old movie matron.

Blinding you with her flashlight, she’d give you a stern warning.

”Go back to your seat or I’ll call the manager.”

Yes, Frau Commandant! I saluted.

"And don't be fresh!"

There was a soda machine in this theater that never worked right. You’d put in your coins and then press for your soda of choice. Sometimes, the soda would spit down with no cup. Another coin. A cup but no soda. Or seltzer with no syrup. Or ice and no cup. Or all syrup and no ice. I don’t believe I ever got it right.

I have a lot more RKO Proctor memories now ping ponging around my cranium.

Sitting in Hartley Park right up the street waiting until the movie started before we went in for the first show of the day. Why? This six-year-old was deftly afraid of the curtain opening.

Saving up a lot of Pepsodent toothpaste box tops to get a free ticket to some Bob Hope-Lucille Ball movie. They made a personal appearance on stage for about ten minutes and took questions from the audience. I raised my hand and asked Lucy how old she was. "Next."

Going to see "Operation Petticoat" with my dad who never laughed harder at this hilarious comedy about a Navy submarine that was painted pink.

Going to see Hitchcock's "The Birds" with my older cousin Gini. By taking me at such a tender age to such a grown-up movie, she made me feel so incredibly important. And scared shitless when the birds pecked Suzanne Pleshette to death.

Seeing some double feature with my mom on a Friday night. The second movie was about women trapped in a concentration camp. Years later, I saw it on a movie channel. "Seven Women From Hell." A very adult movie and I felt really uncomfortable watching it even when I was older. Mom, what the hell were you thinking?

Going to see a movie there just before it closed. They already converted part of the place to a bingo parlor. I sat there amongst folding chairs, tables, and those cages where they kept the Bingo balls. Weird. 

RKO Proctor's died shortly thereafter.  So did most of my hometown, for that matter.   But the photo above re-jiggers it all again.  One more time.

I want to go again.   I wonder what's playing.  Oh, according to this other photo from 1947, it's "The Best Years of Our Lives."

Between Loews and RKO, we had the best of the best.   But there are other movie house memories from my childhood.   You'll see a few of those next week.

Dinner last night:  Kung pao chicken.