And you wonder why his hair looked the way it did.
763 BC: ASSYRIANS RECORD A SOLAR ECLIPSE THAT IS LATER USED TO FIX THE CHRONOLOGY OF MESPOTAMIAN HISTORY.
So then why isn't the date shown as AE? After Eclipse.
923: KING ROBERT I OF FRANCE IS KILLED AND KING CHARLES THE SIMPLE IS ARRESTED BY THE SUPPORTERS OF DUKE RUDOLPH OF BURGUNDY.
The trial, despite his name, was quite complicated.
1215: KING JOHN OF ENGLAND PUTS HIS SEAL TO THE MAGNA CARTA.
Which is why that important document was wet and full of flipper stains.
1520: POPE LEO X THREATENS TO EXCOMMUNICATE MARTIN LUTHER IN PAPER BULL EXSURGE DOMINE.
Hey, Pope, that's my guy you're screwing with. Knock it off.
1580: PHILIP II OF SPAIN DECLARES WILLIAM THE SILENT TO BE AN OUTLAW.
Who knew that pantomine was a crime?
1667: THE FIRST HUMAN BLOOD TRANSFUSION IS ADMINISTERED BY DR. JEAN-BAPTISTE DENYS.
So when was the first documented case of hepatitis? I'm just sayin'.
1752: BENJAMIN FRANKLIN PROVES THAT LIGHTNING IS ELECTRICITY.
And a very stupid stunt to pull in your backyard.
1775: GEORGE WASHINGTON IS APPOINTED COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF OF THE CONTINENTAL ARMY.
Just proving that not lying about some broken cherry tree had its career perks.
1776: DELAWARE VOTES TO SUSPEND GOVERNMENT UNDER THE BRITISH CROWN AND SEPARATE OFFICIALLY FROM PENNSYLVANIA.
The long term downside of this? Three words. Senator Joe Biden.
1836: ARKANSAS IS ADMITTED AS THE 25TH U.S. STATE.
Where's the reset button?
1844: CHARLES GOODYEAR RECEIVES A PATENT FOR VULCANIZATION, A PROCESS TO STRENGTHEN RUBBER.
Teen age boys salute you from the back seat of their '72 Chevy Impala.
1864: ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY IS ESTABLISHED WHEN 200 ACRES ARE SET ASIDE AS A MILITARY CEMETERY BY U.S SECRETARY OF WAR EDWIN M. STANTON.
With a sign out front. "Future Home of Most of the Kennedys."
1877: HENRY OSSIAN FLIPPER BECOMES THE FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN CADET TO GRADUATE FROM THE UNITED STATES MILITARY ACADEMY.
"They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning..."
1888: CROWN PRINCE WILHELM BECOMES KAISER WILHELM II, THE LAST EMPEROR OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE.
And the first to be named after a roll.
1896: THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE TSUNAMI IN JAPAN'S HISTORY KILLS MORE THAN 22,000 PEOPLE.
That's like the entire attendance of a single Met game this season.
1904: A FIRE ABOARD THE STEAMBOAT SS GENERAL SLOCUM IN NEW YORK CITY'S EAST RIVER KILLS 1,000.
That's like the entire attendance of a single Met game this September.
1916: U.S. PRESIDENT WOODROW WILSON SIGNS A BILL INCORPORATING THE BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA.
All because Mrs. Wilson needed to cross the street.
1917: ACTOR LASH LA RUE IS BORN.
Just so you know...that's a guy.
1944: DURING WORLD WAR II, THE UNITED STATES INVADE SAIPAN.
Where are all the Saipanese immigrants these days?
1946: PALEONTOLOGIST JACK HORNER IS BORN.
Just to be clear, this is not the dude who sat in a corner.
1955: THE EISENHOWER ADMINISTRATION STAGES THE FIRST ANNUAL "OPERATION ALERT" EXERCISE, AN ATTEMPT TO ASSESS THE USA'S PREPARATIONS FOR A NUCLEAR ATTACK.
Duck and cover!!!
1963: ACTRESS HELEN HUNT IS BORN.
Helen, we're all mad about you.
1964: ACTRESS COURTNEY COX IS BORN.
Thank God. The show wouldn't have worked with just five people.
1978: KING HUSSEIN OF JORDAN MARRIES AMERICAN LISA HALABY, WHO TAKES THE NAME QUEEN NOOR.
Queen Latifah was a close second.
1984: "MUSIC MAN" COMPOSER MEREDITH WILLSON DIES.
I shed a tear.
1985: REMBRANDT'S "DANAE" IS ATTACKED BY A MAN WHO THROWS SULFURIC ACID ON THE CANVAS AND CUTS IT TWICE WITH A KNIFE.
Thank God they stopped him before he did any real damage.
1993: POLITICIAN JOHN CONNALLY DIES.
Thirty years after he was shot. That must have been some hospital bill.
1996: SINGER ELLA FITZGERALD DIES.
At this point, she didn't have a leg to stand on.
2003: ACTOR HUME CRONYN DIES.
Thank goodness there was no mystery about this death. I'd hate to think his body would need to be ex-humed.
Dinner last night: Polish sausage at the Dodger game.
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