If I Tweeted - February 2012

I don't, you know.  But, if I did, here's what I would tweeted...

#LenSpeaks  I love winter in Los Angeles.  Yesterday's forecast for today said "Sunday and colder.  High around 65."

#LenSpeaks  The guy on the radio just said it's never too early to think about Valentine's Day.  Er, yeah, it is.  For me, it's too early on February 15.

#LenSpeaks  Betty White hit 90 and NBC saluted this by putting on an incredibly unwatchable tribute.  More shows like that and she will personally make sure she doesn't hit 91.

#LenSpeaks  Meanwhile, I love Betty, but she needs to take her name out of the running for all these TV awards.  Candice Bergen did the classy thing after she won all those Emmys for Murphy Brown.

#LenSpeaks  Betty, the password is "enough."

#LenSpeaks  The only way to watch the Golden Globes. Tape it and then start watching an hour and 15 minutes. You can FF through commercials, anything that idiot Ricky Gervais has to say... TYou wind up with about six minutes of watchable content.

#LenSpeaks  A real-life Titanic.  An Italian cruise ship capsizes.  The captain's reaction:  "Thatsa no good."

#LenSpeaks  You just know that, as they were evacuating the boat, some idiot was singing the song from Titanic.

#LenSpeaks  If you're asking whether I will be watching the Super Bowl, please note that neither of my hands are up.

#LenSpeaks  Giants, schmiants.  I'll be checking out what's on Turner Classic Movies.

#LenSpeaks  Watching the SAG Awards, I realized that, without Botox, most of them would.

#LenSpeaks  Strange but true:  An e-mail inviting me to back Obama for 2012 re-election fell into my spam folder.  Wow, these computers are smart.

#LenSpeaks  Screw standing at a podium.  Let's just watch Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich engage in hand-to-hand combat. 

#LenSpeaks  Our President in 2013 could be named Mitt, Newt, or Barack.  What the hell ever happened to George, Harry, and Bill?

#LenSpeaks  P.S.: I don't care about Romney's tax returns or Gingrich's tax returns or Obama's tax returns.  I care only about mine.

#LenSpeaks  Thanks to Obamacare, I have friends whose doctors have quit the business.  Meanwhile, my new health care deductible for 2012 is so high that I won't hit it till 2014.

#LenSpeaks  Body parts being found all over the place in Los Angeles. Who says you can't get a head in Hollywood?

#LenSpeaks  An elementary school in Los Angeles has been renamed after Michael Jackson. Please insert your favorite joke here _____________ .

#LenSpeaks  How come Republicans can't be rich while Democrats like Nancy Pe-lousy can be multi-millionaires?

#LenSpeaks  Sound bites from the former Speaker sound more and more incoherent.  But, then again, you try to make sense with four inches of skin pulled back and tied in a knot in the back of your head?

#LenSpeaks  Federally-approved school lunches are finding their way into cafeteria garbage cans all across the country?  That would be "Fuck you, Mrs. Obama and your apple slices."

#LenSpeaks  You know it's winter and germs are spreading all around.  The flu is here and so is a new Katherine Heigl movie.

#LenSpeaks  Watching the promos, I cannot wait for TNT's summer reboot of Dallas.  It will be a lot more fun than watching the political conventions.

#LenSpeaks  I saw the words "journalist George Stephanopoulos" in print and I couldn't stop laughing.

#LenSpeaks  Waste of Money # 225:  Stimulus money for a solar panel company. 

#LenSpeaks  The Dodgers are for sale.  Going price:  $1.5 billion.  Well, let's hope that the Federal Government doesn't bail them out.  Harry Reid would make a terrible general manager.

#LenSpeaks  The First Lady spent approximately $50,000 in a shopping spree at a lingerie store.  Does that mean they're charging more for undies that are sixed "XXL?"

#LenSpeaks  Yeah, I did write that, but you look at photos of her from behind and tell me I'm wrong.

Dinner last night:  Turkey meat loaf and succotash.