Some of you may remember my travails from three years ago. Turning in a trusty Toyota 4-Runner and looking to downside a little bit to a Highlander. Except this was just at the height of the economic meltdown and my preferred car dealership, Longo Toyota in god-forsaken El Monte, had virtually no inventory on the lot. Considering that Longo is the largest Toyota dealer in the nation, this was unfathomable.
So, at that time, my choices for a decent Highlander were slim and really none. Oh, sure, I could have had a white one, but that's the shade you always get stuck with at Hertz Rent-a-Car. But, as they assured me, you can have your pick of the litter if you will take a Highlander Hybrid. And, boy, oh, boy, you will see the savings in gas.
Uh-huh. Yeah, I didn't. Unless you get a Toyota Prius, you will still be making a Shell Oil stop every single Saturday. More bullshit from the wonderful bureaucrats at the Environmental Protection Agency. And, frankly, I don't give a recycled rat's ass about my carbon footprint.
Yep, I couldn't wait to get rid of the Toyota Highlander Hybrid with its overrated gas savings and even loftier monthly lease payment.
Longo Toyota started to look for my car three months ago. Desperate for cars to replenish their dwindling used automobile inventory, they were willing to let me out of my lease early. With no penalty. And I would have done so had I not spent the last two months dealing with arthroscopic surgery on my left knee.
But, last Friday, I was ready. And I was assured that my rather minimal demands for a new vehicle could be met.
A Highlander. And not a Hybrid, thank you very much.
A color that wasn't the primary hue of the Avis car fleet at LAX Airport. A darker shade of blue is preferred at the moment, thank you very much.
And, without fail, it must have satellite radio capability built into the car, thank you very much.
No problem, said the Longo Toyota droid on the other end of the phone countless times.
Except when I got there last week.
"Hmm, we don't have a lot of Highlanders in blue."
First Pearl Harbor and now they do this to me.
My regular sales guy was busy, so I was assigned to his associate. Alex was an old Russian guy who disappeared for long stretches to have a cigarette. But, as we tooled around the lot in his golf cart, I was once again seeing little to please me.
We drove up to the top deck of a garage which was obviously Highlander Town. I walked all around and saw little. Lots of Hybrids in my preferred colors. And not much else. After fifteen minutes of meandering through parked cars, I looked for Alex.
Where was he? Was I left up here to die? That's no way to treat a Toyota VIP customer. I spotted a security guard. Do you know Alex?
"He's downstairs. Smoking."
I began to wonder what would happen first. A new Highlander for me or lung cancer for Alex?
Suddenly, in front of me, popped up a dark blue car that sort of looked like a SUV but clearly wasn't. A Venza.
Hmmmmm.
About ten minutes or days later, Alex returned. I knew nothing of this Venza thing, but I liked the look.
"It is a very good car. I drive a Venza."
Of course, you do, Alex.
We popped into the vehicle for a test drive. It felt a little boxy and was a little bouncy on the freeway test, but it met all my other criteria. But I hardly knew about this car. Where was my Consumer Reports when I actually needed it?
Returning to the garage, Alex somehow made a cosmic connection to a dark blue Highlander non Hybrid that also possessed the Len requirements. Since it wasn't a Hybrid, Alex insisted that I test drive this one as well.
"It is a very good car. I drive a Highlander."
You just told me you drove a Venza."
"I have both cars. I usually drive the Highlander, but I am using my wife's Venza since she had a stroke."
And that stroke came as a result of ingesting so much second hand smoke in your house?
The Highlander felt like home to me. But, there was something about that Venza which was staying with me as well. My ride home would be in one of those vehicles. But which one?
Alex and I returned to his office and he announced that he needed to do an appraisal on the car I was bringing back.
"I will be back."
After the appraisal and perhaps two or three Chesterfields.
Sitting at Alex' desk, I thought of my decision. Of course, the payment numbers would be critical here. But, Alex, while playing with his Bic lighter, had told me that the monthly payout would be comparable for either car. So how would I choose?
I suddenly remembered that I was living in the internet age. With it available on my phone.
I Googled "Toyota Venza." And, thanks to Alex' smoking addiction, I was able to access about ten reviews of this car that I was only minimally familiar with.
None of them were glowing.
A ha.
I then typed into the search engine "2012 Toyota Highlander."
Wow, this was still quite the car. Except three reviewers warned the reader of considering the Hybrid version since it was economically not worth it.
No shit, Sherlock.
Fingers coated in nicotine, Alex returned and I was ready to commit.
The 2012 Toyota Highlander, please.
And I wound up with some stuff I didn't count on. The satellite radio, of course, is now in the dashboard. But there's a Bluetooth connection with my cell phone. A moon roof. And leather seats. And my hoped-for color of dark blue.
Alex congratulated me on my decision. As I got ready to drive off in my new shininess, he called out to me.
"See you again in three years."
Er, the way you smoke? I doubt it.
Dinner last night: Leftover pork loin.
1 comment:
Never trust a Russian.
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