Morons of the Month - June 2014

I came to NY last week and I wasn't on the ground more than ten minutes at JFK Airport before I had to scold some nitwit.  I'm carrying my bags out of Baggage Claim.  A woman in front of me stops dead in her tracks.  I walk right into her.

She was texting on her phone.  I gave her a message to send.

"Get your head out of your ass, lady."

The New Yorker in me still lives comfortably in my soul.

There are laws on the books that tell us we can't drive and text and use our phones at the same time.  Marvelous legislation.  I applaud all states who adopt this.

I would like to add a sub-clause to the rule.   You really shouldn't be on your phones while walking either.  Let's face it.  This is a country that emphasizes multi-tasking.   To a population that has a hard time doing one at a time successfully.

The dope in the airport would not be the first person I would collide with.  When I was on business in Manhattan two days, other knuckleheads would stop short right in front of me.   Obviously, big news had happened on the internet.  It required immediate attention.  Yes, that was me running right into you.   And, frankly, I'm not sorry.

Don't get me wrong.  I live on a cell phone, too.  It goes everywhere with me.  I'm always checking my various e-mail accounts.  I have several because I have multiple careers.  Plus there are Dodger scores to check and movie times to access.  But, I'm a little peculiar. 

I stop and do those things off to the side.  Away from the oncoming traffic of imbeciles. 

The number of clowns simply walking like zombies with their heads glued to their phone screen is astounding.  I sat outside an office building for a few minutes and watched the parade of idiots walk by.  More folks walking into others. 

I look at the streets of midtown Manhattan.  All are chewed up.  There are potholes and divots all over the place.  I walk gingerly across every street.  Two arthritic knees will do that to a person.  But, how do all these dummies manage to navigate these mine fields when they are paying 100% attention to their e-mail and nothing else. 

There have to be lots of civil lawsuits against the City of New York from people who suffered injuries after falling on the torn-up boulevards of this gotham.  My question is simple.  How many of those suits could be tossed out of court because the injured party wasn't paying heed to their surrounding?   How many were too busy texting their weekend plans at the Hamptons?  Somebody must be keeping that stat some place.

We are now all lemmings going from place to place, but always in touch.  Nowhere is this more evident than in midtown Manhattan.  Look at what we have all become.  Tied to instant information.  I remember the good old days.  If you weren't home, you missed a phone call.  If you were on the phone, the other party got...wait for it...a busy signal.   And what about those poor companies who made their business models around the production of these pre-voice mail pads.

In 2014, we have been blessed with wonderful inventions of technology.   Our lives are so much easier.

Well, then, how come some folks are so much more stupid as a result?

Dinner last night:  Beef with broccoli.