1053: 3,000 HORSEMEN OF NORMAN COUNT HUMPHREY ROUT THE TROOPS OF POPE LEO IX.
Back in the day when Popes rode horses and not bubble-topped jeeps.
1264: THE PARLIAMENT OF IRELAND MEETS AT CASTLEDERMOT IN COUNTY KILDARE.
Right down the road is County Gillespie.
1429: FRENCH FORCES UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF JOAN OF ARC DEFEAT THE MAIN BRITISH ARMY IN THE HUNDRED YEARS' WAR.
Yeah, she's hot now. But she'll get even hotter.
1684: THE CHARTER OF THE MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY IS REVOKED VIA SCIRE FACIAS WRIT.
A scire facias what?
1767: ENGLISH SEA CAPTAIN SAMUEL WALLIS SIGHTS TAHITI AND IS CONSIDERED THE FIRST EUROPEAN TO REACH THE ISLAND.
No dummy is he.
1778: DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, BRITISH TROOPS ABANDON PHILADELPHIA.
What? The Phillies on a losing streak?
1812: DURING THE WAR OF 1812, THE US CONGRESS DECLARES WAR ON GREAT BRITAIN, CANADA, AND IRELAND.
England and Ireland on the same side? Who would have thunk?
1858: CHARLES DARWIN RECEIVES A PAPER FROM ALFRED RUSSEL WALLACE THAT INCLUDES NEARLY IDENTICAL CONCLUSIONS ABOUT EVOLUTION AS HIS OWN, PROMPTING DARWIN TO PUBLISH HIS THEORY.
Or else they would have been fighting over Wallace in "Inherit the Wind."
1873: SUSAN B. ANTHONY IS FINED $100 FOR ATTEMPTING TO VOTE.
These days, they should pay me $100 to vote.
1900: EMPRESS DOWAGER LONGYU OF CHINA ORDERS ALL FOREIGNERS KILLED.
Anybody who walks in Times Square and down Hollywood Boulevard during the summer knows the feeling.
1904: ACTOR KEYE LUKE IS BORN.
Number One Son!
1908: TV HOST BUD COLLYER IS BORN.
His mother thought he would be born on June 19, but he beat the clock.
1913: SONGWRITER SAMMY CAHN IS BORN.
Ain't that a kick in the head.
1917: ACTOR RICHARD BOONE IS BORN.
Have Birth Canal, Will Travel.
1923: CHECKER TAXI PUTS ITS FIRST CAB ON THE STREET.
And this is probably the first known employment of an Arab in America.
1928: AVIATOR AMELIA EARHART BECOMES THE FIRST WOMAN TO FLY IN AN AIRCRAFT ACROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.
This time, she was just a passenger. Later, she would be a missing pilot.
1936: BARACK OBAMA SR. IS BORN.
The original deadbeat dad.
1940: THE "FINEST HOUR" SPEECH BY WINSTON CHURCHILL.
His finest hour, too.
1942: CRITIC ROGER EBERT IS BORN.
Thumb up.
1942: BEATLE PAUL MCCARTNEY IS BORN.
Despite a raspy voice and some really bad plastic surgery, people still flock to see him. Heck, I'm going myself in August.
1945: LORD HAW-HAW IS CHARGED WITH TREASON FOR HIS PRO-GERMAN PROPAGANDA DURING WORLD WAR II.
The Lord's first name wouldn't happen to be......oh, never mind.
1953: THE EGYPTIAN REVOLUTION OF 1952 ENDS WITH THE OVERTHROW OF THE MUHAMMAD ALI DYNASTY AND THE DECLARATION OF THE REPUBLIC OF EGYPT.
Is there such a thing as the Cassius Clay Dynasty?
1959: ACTRESS ETHEL BARRYMORE DIES.
There were like two dozen of these acting Barrymores.
1965: DURING THE VIETNAM WAR, THE US USES B-52 BOMBERS TO ATTACK GUERRILLA FIGHTERS IN SOUTH VIET NAM.
Magilla Guerrilla for sale.
1979: SALT II IS SIGNED BY THE UNITED STATES AND THE SOVIET UNION.
Right now, it's hard to find SALT on a restaurant table in NY.
1983: ASTRONAUT SALLY RIDE BECOMES THE FIRST AMERICAN WOMAN IN SPACE.
And what a ride she had.
1996: TED KACZYNSKI, SUSPECTED OF BEING THE UNABOMBER, IS INDICTED ON TEN CRIMINAL COUNTS.
Make it an even dozen.
2000; ACTRESS NANCY MARCHAND DIES.
Terrific as Livia Soprano and Mrs. Pynchon.
2002: SPORTSCASTER JACK BUCK DIES.
Buck. Passed.
2003: BASEBALL STAR LARRY DOBY DIES.
Doby doby die.
2011: MUSICIAN CLARENCE CLEMONS DIES.
There goes alimony payments for about ten or twelve ex-wives.
Dinner last night: Leftover spaghetti and meatballs.
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