1184 BC: DURING THE TROJAN WAR, TROY IS SACKED AND BURNED.
As opposed to Mark Sanchez who was often sacked but never burned.
323 BC: ALEXANDER THE GREAT DIES IN THE PALACE OF NEBUCHADNEZZAR II IN BABYLON.
Must suck to be Nebuchadnezzar at a book signing.
1345: THE MEGAS DOUX ALEXIOS APOKAUKOS, CHIEF MINISTER OF THE BYZANTINE EMPIRE, IS LYNCHED BY POLITICAL PRISONERS.
Can you blame them? The only good megas doux is a dead megas doux.
1509: HENRY VIII OF ENGLAND MARRIES CATHERINE OF ARAGON.
This Henry VIII must have been good in throne.
1776: THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS APPOINTS THOMAS JEFFERSON, JOHN ADAMS, BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, ROGER SHERMAN, AND ROBERT LIVINGSTON TO THE COMMITTEE OF FIVE TO DRAFT A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
And later became a musical.
1837: THE BROAD STREET RIOT OCCURS IN BOSTON, FUELED BY EHTNIC TENSIONS BETWEEN YANKEES AND IRISH.
Well, Yankees are never welcome in Boston.
1913: FOOTBALL COACH VINCE LOMBARDI IS BORN.
The original cheesehead.
1919: SIR BARTON WINS THE BELMONT STAKES, BECOMING THE FIRST HORSE TO WIN THE TRIPLE CROWN.
So a horse led the league in home runs, batting average, and runs batted in??
1920: DURING THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION IN CHICAGO, PARTY LEADERS GATHER IN A BACK ROOM TO DECIDE ON A CANDIDATE. THIS WAS THE FIRST "SMOKE-FILLED" ROOM.
Talk about your second-hand smoke.
1930: POLITICIAN CHARLES RANGEL IS BORN.
The original shithead.
1933: ACTOR GENE WILDER IS BORN.
"Put the candle back!"
1935: INVENTOR IRWIN ARMSTRONG GIVES THE FIRST PUBLIC DEMONSTRATION OF FM BROADCASTING IN ALPINE, NEW JERSEY.
Armstrong? One small step for man, one giant leap for the Grateful Dead.
1942: DURING WORLD WAR II, THE UNITED STATES AGREES TO SEND LEND-LEASE AID TO THE SOVIET UNION.
Mistake-ski.
1945: ACTRESS ADRIENNE BARBEAU IS BORN.
And she has quite the barbeaus, doesn't she?
1962: FRANK MORRIS, JOHN ANGLIN, AND CLARENCE ANGLIN ALLEGEDLY BECOME THE ONLY PRISONERS TO ESCAPE FROM THE PRISON ON ALCATRAZ ISLAND.
If this happened today, they'd be on the View tomorrow.
1963: ALABAMA GOVERNOR GEORGE WALLACE STANDS AT THE DOOR OF THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA TO BLOCK TWO BLACK STUDENTS FROM ATTENDING THAT SCHOOL.
This is when Wallace could actually stand.
1963: PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY PROPOSES THE CIVIL RIGHTS ACT OF 1964.
Planning ahead for 1964. Um, not so fast, Jack.
1969: ACTOR PETER DINKLAGE IS BORN.
The creation of another little person who will always be a little person.
1979: ACTOR JOHN WAYNE DIES.
Anybody who doubts this guy could act should watch "The Searchers."
1981: A 6.9 MAGNITUDE EARTHQUAKE IN IRAN KILLS AT LEAST 2,000.
Which is still not as many people killed on 9/11 by that same part of the world.
1985: PATIENT KAREN ANN QUINLAN DIES.
Plug. Pulled.
1999: ACTOR DEFOREST KELLEY DIES.
Beamed down.
2001: TIMOTHY MCVEIGH IS EXECUTED FOR HIS ROLE IN THE OKLAHOMA CITY BOMBING.
What goes around......
2002: ANTONIO MEUCCI AS ACKNOWLEDGED AS THE FIRST INVENTOR OF THE TELEPHONE BY THE US CONGRESS.
Alexander Graham Phooey.
2003: JOURNALIST DAVID BRINKLEY DIES.
Good night, David.
Dinner last night: Sausage and peppers at Modern Restaurant in New Rochelle.
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