238: THE ROMAN SENATE OUTLAWS EMPEROR MAXIMINUS THRAX FOR HIS BLOODTHIRSTY PROSCRIPTIONS IN ROME AND NOMINATES TWO OF ITS MEMBERS, PUPIENUS AND BALBINUS, TO THE THRONE.
If this blog existed back then, it would probably be called Len Speaksius.
1519: SPANISH CONQUISTADOR HERNAN CORTES ESTABLISHES A SETTLEMENT AT VERACRUZ, MEXICO.
If Cortes was alive today, he would already have fled to America.
1622: THE CAPTURE OF ORMUZ BY THE EAST INDIA COMPANY ENDS PORTUGUESE CONTROL OF HORMUZ ISLAND.
If this happened today, I still wouldn't care.
1836: DURING THE TEXAS REVOLUTION, FORCES UNDER TEXAS GENERAL SAM HOUSTON IDENTIFY MEXICAN GENERAL ANTONIO LOPEZ DE SANTA ANNA AMONG THE CAPTIVES OF THE BATTLE OF SAN JACINTO.
I think Texas is still revolting.
1864: THE US CONGRESS PASSES THE COINAGE ACT OF 1864 THAT MANDATES THAT THE INSCRIPTION IN GOD WE TRUST BE PLACED ON ALL COINS MINTED AS US CURRENCY.
God....remember him?
1876: THE FIRST EVER NATIONAL LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME IS PLAYED IN PHILADELPHIA.
The first recorded drunken brawl in the stands.
1889: AT HIGH NOON, THOUSANDS RUSH TO CLAIM LAND IN THE LAND RUSH OF 1889. WITHIN HOURS, THE CITIES OF OKLAHOMA CITY AND GUTHRIE ARE FORMED WITH POPULATIONS OF AT LEAST 10,000.
So that explains the traffic jam outside of Oklahoma City.
1906: ACTOR EDDIE ALBERT IS BORN.
He died in 2005, so I guess you can say he got cheated.
1912: PRAVDA, THE VOICE OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY IN THE SOVIET UNION, BEGINS PUBLICATION IN SAINT PETERSBURG.
First comic strip? Little Socialist Annie.
1915: THE USE OF POISON GAS IN WORLD WAR I ESCALATES WHEN CHLORINE GAS IS RELEASED AS A CHEMICAL WEAPON.
Chlorine? Like the way the pool in my high school gym used to smell??
1923: PRODUCER AARON SPELLING IS BORN.
The Love Boat is making another run...
1926: ACTRESS CHARLOTTE RAE IS BORN.
You take the good, you take the bad. You take them both and there you have...the Facts of Life. The Facts of Life.
1936: SINGER GLEN CAMPBELL IS BORN.
By the time he gets to Heaven.
1937: ACTOR JACK NICHOLSON IS BORN.
Yeah, this is as good as it gets.
1945: DURING WORLD WAR II, PRISONERS AT THE JASENOVAC CONCENTRATION CAMP REVOLT.
And they probably were totally justified.
1945: DURING WORLD WAR II, ADOLF HITLER ADMITS DEFEATS AND STATES THAT SUICIDE IS ONLY HIS RECOURSE.
Agreed!
1954: WITNESSES BEGIN TESTIFYING DURING LIVE TELEVISION COVERAGE OF THE ARMY-MCARTHY HEARINGS BEGIN
Rat bastards.
1964: THE NEW YORK WORLD'S FAIR OPENS FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Right across the street from spanking new Shea Stadium.
1970: THE FIRST EARTH DAY IS CELEBRATED.
Tree huggers unite!
1972: INCREASED AMERICAN BOMBING IN VIETNAM PROMPTS ANTI-WAR PROTESTS IN LA, NY, AND SF.
Oh, so that's marijuana I smell?
1977: OPTICAL FIBER IS FIRST USED TO CARRY LIVE TELEPHONE TRAFFIC.
And years later, you still can't get a conference call that doesn't have any static.
1978: ACTOR WILL GEER DIES.
Good night, Grandpa.
1983: A GERMAN MAGAZINE CLAIMS THAT THE HITLER DIARIES ARE FOUND. THEY ARE LATER REVEALED TO BE FORGERIES.
You mean somebody's actually trying to copy Hitler's penmanship??
1984: PHOTOGRAPHER ANSEL ADAMS DIES.
Thank God somebody invented the coffee table so his books had some place to go.
1994: PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON DIES.
And God now makes it perfectly clear.
1996: AUTHOR ERMA BOMBECK DIES.
The grass is not only greener. It's on top of you.
1998: DISNEY'S ANIMAL KINGDOM OPENS IN ORLANDO, FLORIDA.
And there's another way to make money.
2000: THE BIG NUMBER CHANGE TAKES PLACE IN ENGLAND.
I'm holding out for the Small Number Change.
2002: PORN ACTRESS LINDA LOVELACE DIES.
I find this hard to swallow.
2013: SINGER RICHIE HAVENS DIES.
Make that Richie Heaven.
2017: ACTRESS ERIN MORAN DIES.
Chachi Buries Joanie.
Dinner last night: Leftover meat loaf.
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