If It's Wednesday, This Must Be Tuesday Weld

I have no idea what today's title means, but the Bibster said it and I laughed, so that's good enough for me.

---The New York Mets finally got on a surge, but then lost four in a row to the Padres

---Here they come, here they come, here they come.

---Er, never mind.

----Their catcher showed up late on Sunday in San Diego because he got confused what time the game started.

---He obviously forgot to change his clocks when we converted to Moron Savings Time.

---The Dodgers' Andruw Jones is recovering from knee surgery, but nothing has changed. Last night, he missed the toilet.

---At a Dodger-Cub game last week, there were so many Chicago fans screaming that I thought I was at an Oprah taping.

---With their team in first place, they were awful obnoxious.

---I guess 100 years or so of World Series non-victories will do that to you.

---Since the Cubs last won the World Series, there have been 16 different Presidents, two World Wars, and a half dozen prosthetic legs for their legendary shill, Ron Santo.

---Flipping the TV dials through all those so-called news networks, I had an epiphany. There is now no such thing as a TV news journalist.

---Regardless of whether it's CNN, MSNBC, or Fox, everybody has an unbridled opinion or an agenda.

---I even think that I passed by that Catholic channel and Mother Angelica was trashtalking Dick Cheney.

---For instance, there's Keith Olbermann on MSNBC, once a horrible sportscaster and now an even bigger idiot as an alleged political pundit. He compared one of Obama's speeches to Abe Lincoln.

---I guess he meant the 16th President. Although there is an Abe Lincoln who works at a newspaper stand on Michigan Avenue in Chicago.

---Greta Van Susteran on Fox wants to tell you that the Republicans do speak the truth. All the while, her face has been lifted more times than the free weights at Gold's Gym.

---And, of course, Chris Matthews on MSNBC has stated that there is a "warm tingle" that goes down his leg every time he hears Obama speak.

---That could be excitement, urine, or perhaps the onset of a crippling stroke.

---Where the hell are Huntley and Brinkley when you need them?

---Dead, I suppose.

---I caught up to Indiana Jones this past weekend. That's not hard since he's not running as fast as he used to.

---The movie had no humor or any of the charm from the first picture. Every chase scene looked the same and I saw Shia LaBoeuf more animated when I ran into him at the Dodger Stadium concession stand.

---From the direction, I am thinking Spielberg was bored. Or perhaps depressed over Hillary.

---They should have called this "Indiana Jones and the Last Movie."

---Horse racing's potential Triple Crown winner, Big Brown, ended up coming in dead last. So, by now, the horse probably is a Belmont Steak.

---I understand something that goes by the same name is also running in November.

---Hey, folks, I never promised you a rose garden.

---Here come the Mets! Here come the Mets!

---Oops, sorry, forget it.

---I was in the parking garage of the Beverly Hilton for an industry function and I actually heard this ongoing conversation from some dame in a business suit and on her cell phone.

---"Okay, I'm getting out of my car."

---"I'm now approaching the elevator."

---"I'm getting on the elevator."

---"I'm off the elevator and moving toward the lobby."

---"This guy standing next to me looks angry and may punch my face in."

---I wish.

---Does this idiot have to report every move she makes? I expected to see it on a CNN crawl when I got home.

---"BREAKING NEWS. CAREER BITCH PARKS IN BEVERLY HILTON GARAGE."

---Why is that the people who are so unimportant have the highest opinions of themselves?

---Which reminds me of a great line uttered by Rudy Vallee in "The Palm Beach Story."

---"Why are the people that deserve a beating so enormous?"

---Now, the Mets are on fire. Now is the time they put it together. Watch out, watch out.

---False alarm.

Maybe they'll get hot by next Wednesday.

Dinner last night: Hamburger.