Octo-Asshole

Enough already! Everybody, please listen to my audible scream. We should hear no more about this.

Of course, you need to finish reading this post. And then we should be done.

I've rambled on here before about that moron who just gave birth to eight chemically engineered children, but the story's not going away anytime soon. On the news, on ET, in the newspapers, pretty much everywhere. And the more I hear about it, the more I think that this piece of trash is a microcosm for everything that is wrong in America today.

Blanket statement? Of course, and go ahead and cover yourself up because I will get a little colder.

There are certain news outlets that have taken to this story as a big old warm and fuzzy. NBC, which did its last piece of decent journalism while Chet Huntley was still lighting up a Marlboro, even went to the extremes of interviewing this cretin for perhaps the exchange of some dollars. We were supposed to feel a bit of remorse for her, because, after all, she just wanted to have some children to love. And, since she's pursuing a degree at Cal State Fullerton, she really is a laudable individual who just got herself in a bad place. Eight times. No, make that fourteen times since she's already got six other mutations at home. And three of those kids are handicapped and already receiving public assistance. All the new babies, save for one, have names ending in H. You might call that Biblical. I call it the world's youngest terror cell.

There's been all sorts of other stuff out there about this jerk. She was photographed buying video games for her kids and I'm so glad my tax dollars are going to help Guitar Hero turn a profit in 2009. Her lips have grown in pictures over the past few weeks, but that's what collagen injections are supposed to do. She's on food stamps, but apparently found a publicist that will accept them as payment. And, allegedly, she's a fanatic for Angelina Jolie, so perhaps Nadya goes to the Oscars as her guest if Brad comes down with a sinus infection. I guess this is what the media calls a human interest story.

Sorry, folks, but my warm and fuzzy meter is broken beyond repair. What some people are viewing with interest, I am seeing as a drain on my bank account. Because it doesn't take much common sense to see that Nadya Suleman is a pile of dog shit who, like a lot of garbage in this country, has figured out how to "work the system."

If you look around, these people are all over the place. They don't seem to be super-educated, yet they know every in and every out of the state and federal laws that are created to open up your wallet and mine for the "oppressed." They know what the regulations will allow and not allow. They spend more time educating themselves on what they deserve for doing as little as possible. They can argue over long and short term disabilities, employment requirements, and whatever else our idiotic politicians have dreamt up to ensure that everybody gets a fair shake. And when they shake long enough, change comes out of your pocket and mine.

In this age of stimulus packages which will ultimately doom our grandchildren to a life of dumpster diving for rotting broccoli florets behind the local Denny's, Nadya Suleman represents one more sterling example of how these types of American citizens (in her case and most others, that classification is questionable) will eventually destroy us all. But, give we must. In tax dollars, because we are a caring and giving country.

That is also now predominantly stupid.

Meanwhile, there are countless well-meaning and smart Americans who don't cut the corners or work the angles or try to beat "the man." Some of them might be unable to have their own children, so I'm thinking I know where 14 might be available for you. In a country where I'm the President pledging hope, I punish this filthy bastard by ordering these kids removed from her world ASAP. They go to parents who have all the money and truly humanistic qualities to appreciate and properly raise them to be solid citizens. The only stipulation: change their names so they don't remind us of a casting call of extras for "Lawrence of Arabia."

And, as for the matriarchal Nadya, we're not exactly done with you in Len Land. A hysterectomy is in short order. All I'd need to do the job is some Clorox, lighter fluid, and a match.

And please, nobody tape it for Entertainment Tonight.

Dinner last night: Penne with sausage at Maria's Italian Kitchen.