The Nobel Peace Prize for Wednesday

When do they start taking nominations for next year? I might be eligible.

---Seriously, last week at the Dodger game, I refereed an argument between two fans over whether Ronnie Belliard should be starting over Orlando Hudson at second base. That has to get me something, right, Nobel Committee?

---Giving that to President Urkel for just 11 days in office pretty much brings the Nobel Prize down to the level of a Costco card.

---Or even better. A People's Choice Award.

---When unemployment hits 10%, does he get next year's prize for economics?

---If Obama can get this award, what's to say we won't be seeing Best Actor Oscar Winner Adam Sandler?

---Norway now joins France as another country I will boycott.

---Let's face it. The only peace Obama has ever gotten is lying on the other side of his bed.

---Meow.

---Remember that Pepsi commercial in 1984 when Michael Jackson almost went up like Baked Alaska? Well, somebody is selling his burnt hair strands on e-Bay.

---I don't have a joke for that. The complete ridiculousness should suffice.

---What do you do with Michael Jackson hair? It's not like you can floss with it.

---Although it's probably not the first time you'd find it in somebody else's mouth.

---Meow.

---As soon as Cardinal outfielder Matt Holliday dropped that fly ball and essentially blew the Division Series against the Dodgers, I knew that he would be the Mets' big offseason acquisition.

---Rupert Murdoch is negotiating to buy NBC Universal. Which is why you might find Keith Olbermann xeroxing his resume at Kinko's.

---Just for the record: I don't know who Jon Gosselin is. I don't want to know who Jon Gosselin is. And I don't care who Jon Gosselin is.

---Flipping the dials the other night, I also had no idea who those contestants were on "Dancing with the Stars."

---If that show has become so trivial, why not "Dancing with the Nobel Peace Prize Winners?"

---"Ladies and gentlemen, doing the samba, Lech Walesa and Mother Teresa!"

---Just for the record: I don't know who Kate Gosselin in. I don't want to know who Kate Gosselin is. And I don't care who Kate Gosselin is.

---Please set aside some time this weekend to read the health care plan. What?? You haven't seen a copy of it either??

---Well, neither has your senator.

Go Dodgers! I am rooting for a Dodger-Yankee World Series.

Dinner last night: Grilled bratwurst.