I Slow Down For Wednesdays

And I might not slow down for people darting in front of my car.

---This is a highway sign you see in border states like Arizona and California. Trust me when I tell you that it's not a warning that you're in proximity to a family on a TV game show.

---It's funny that they depict a family of three scooting over the border. Usually, it's more than that.

---A lot more than that.

---A lot, lot more than that.

---Three brothers, two sisters.

---One of the girls is eight months pregnant.

---Two dogs, one of which has fleas.

---A lazy uncle who has an arrest record.

---Grandma in a wheelchair and frequently incontinent.

---Welcome to America, one and all!

---My tax dollars are at your complete disposal.

---I love the morons (several of them friends of mine) who so vehemently oppose Arizona's proposed Senate Bill 1070. But, ask any one of them what's in it.

---Ummmm...

---Er..........

---Well, ummmm, er............

---Yeah, I know. You haven't read it.

---It's easy to track down and digest. And you'll realize it's simply a reiteration of the laws the Federal Government stopped enforcing years ago.

---Goofy liberal hand wringers (several of them friends of mine) worry that human rights are being infringed upon.

---Have you seen the pictures of the violence caused at border towns by drug runners slipping into this country?

---Ummmm...

---Er.........

---Well, ummmm, er............

---Yeah, I know. You haven't seen them.

---Meanwhile, you have places like West Hollywood announcing that they will be boycotting Arizona.

---Which means that it really sucks to be a gay Diamondbacks fan living on Kings Road right now.

---If you're an illegal immigrant in Mexico, do you think you get the same red carpet treatment?

---Yeah, the red on the carpet is your blood. Because the authorities down there are probably like the banditos in "Treasure of Sierra Madre."

---"Badges? We got da stinkin' badges."

---Look the wrong way in Mexico and your teeth are invited to a mixer hosted by the butt head of a rifle.

---Our country is continually slapped in the face by foreign countries and we inexplicably keep showing them where they can find our other cheek.

---Take, for instance, the seven-year-old Japanese rock guitarist who played the National Anthem at Dodger Stadium last Sunday.

---Cute and adorable throughout, the kid played the anthem to the point where it sounded like the starting line of the Indy 500. A complete and utter mess.

---The dummies in the crowd cheered. Really???

---At the same time, if a seven year-old American rock guitarist went overseas and destroyed another country's anthem, he would probably not live long enough to be eight.

---So, just how much fertilizer does it take to blow up a standard SUV?

---The numbskull tourists walking around Times Square saw the smoke coming out of the van and probably thought it was an ad.

---"Hey, look, Myrtle. Smoke coming out of that truck. Cool. Just like it used to come out of that Camel cigarette sign."

---If you blow up fertilizer, does it smell? Another treat for the Times Square tourist.

---"Hey, Myrtle, take a whiff. Just like home."

---When I heard that there was a bomb on Broadway, I just asumed that they had revived "Young Frankenstein."

---The terrorist was from Pakistan. Living in Connecticut.

---Stiffer border controls with Rhode Island might have prevented that.

---Of course, we first had NY Mayor Bloomberg suggesting that the culprit was probably somebody upset about health care reform.

---Or maybe the dude is just pissed that New York elected another jackass for a mayor.

---Everytime I hear and see that chucklehead Janet Napolitano, she reminds me of a teacher who can't even keep the sophomores from attending the freshman school dance.

---The bomb guy was put on a "no fly" list Monday morning and got on a flight at JFK Monday night.

---Well, that's obviously working well.

---Meanwhile, Grandma from Oklahoma was being detained for trying to board with too large a can of hair spray.

---Columbia Pictures presents the Three Stooges in "Homeland Security."

---NYPD, of course, sprang into immediate action.

---The President had a statement the very next morning.

---Which is actually pretty fast for him. He took eight days to inspect the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

---Maybe he was walking there?

---It seems like the only way to get Obummer's immediate attention is to have a Black Harvard professor involved.

---But, then again, stiffer border laws in Massachusetts might have prevented this.

Way too much news this week. Now I've got a headache.

Dinner last night: New Orleans Shrimp at the Cheesecake Factory.