Hazy, Hot and Wednesday

And the nasty index always rises in proportion.

---This chart provides too many scientific theories that can simply be summed up in three words:

---It's fucking hot!

---Some really bizarro humidity showed up in Los Angeles last week and trust me when I tell you this. The gardener's Arrid Extra Dry ain't working.

---Or maybe just non-existent. You would think he would have packed some in the trunk when he came into the country.

---Even with the sudden and unusual moist heat enveloped California last week, these kooks don't know real heat discomfort.

---Try 75 degrees and 100 percent humidity while sitting on a New York City subway that's stuck in the tunnel.

---And, sitting next to you, there's a fat postal worker whose Arrid Extra Dry ain't working.

---Of course, whenever it gets hot during July, the hue and cry starts all over again.

---Global Warming!!!!

---It's summer, idiots!

----I can't wait for some of these environmentalists to experience sub-global warming. Pitchforks optional.

---For those of you who were wondering when I would include a photo of a donkey wearing a parachute...

---I knew I'd find a picture like this sooner or later. Ye of little faith.

---Of course, when donkeys fly, you can't expect them to stay up long.

---The one who staged this stunt is the real ass.

---This apparently happened on a Russian beach.

---And what's even more shocking is that there really is such a thing as a Russian beach.

---I have this disgusting mental image of one of those 100-year-old yogurt eaters wearing a thong.

---Pardon me while I slap myself back to my senses.

---Done. I'm better now.

---For those of you who were wondering when I would include a snapshot of a Black couple with their White, blue-eyed, and blonde-haired baby...

---Whoa! Mix-up at the Hospital!!

---They are thinking this is just a freak of nature.

---I'm thinking this is just a freak down at the bar who slept with Mama while Papa was doing a little time in the pokey.

---Or maybe it's like that Dick Van Dyke episode where the Petries thought they took home the wrong baby.

---Frankly, I think I'd check before I put the thing in the car seat.

---Hmm, little Junior doesn't look like Mom or Dad. Actually, he sort of reminds me of Sidney Poitier.

---And, speaking of race relations, the NAACP is still opening up their big mouths like it's 1963 all over again. They're bitching that conservatives are racists. But...check this out, admittedly with lousy audio.

---Uh huh, White folks are the only haters around here.

---One of the greatest misconceptions is that racial hatred is one-sided in this country.

---Trust me when I tell you. There is no rope in my garage or a tree in my front yard.

---Nor did my father own a slave. Although he might have considered it for about five weeks in 1952.

---This piece of crap got shitcanned from her job and rightfully so.

---If you think she got a bum deal, you can lend her your support. The next time you have your license renewed at the DMV.

---But she's still out on the loose and Lindsay Lohan is in jail. Fair trade?

---When she walked into court for her sentencing, I was expecting her to turn around and tell everybody the real criminal was her twin sister from England.

---Like in the movie "The Parent Trap."

---I'll wait.

---Still waiting.

---And still waiting.

---A-ha, now you get it!

---Actually, they could film her jail time and wind up with another great Disney remake.

---"Bedknobs and Broomsticks."

---I'll wait.

---Still waiting.

---And still waiting.

---Moving on...

---For those of you who were waiting for me to include a photo of President Obummer doing an impression of Popeye the Sailor...

---He could be posing for a new Disney theme park ride. "Pirates of the Potomac."

---Or maybe some of Michelle's hair lye got in there.

---Or myabe some of Michelle's fist got in there.

----AAArrrrrrrrrr!

---Well, the pirate motif fits. After all, the government has stolen all the money we have contributed to Social Security over the past five decades.

---"Yo ho ho ho. A President's life for me!!"

---Actually, you might have your own caption for this picture. Please send me your submissions. The winner will get...

---Yeah, like this blog generates revenue?

And, besides, it's still too fucking hot.

Dinner last night: Super Dodger Dog at the game.