19BC: ROMAN POET VIRGIL DIES.
He was born in 70BC and it really sucks when you have to use reverse math to figure how old he was.
1435: AN AGREEMENT BETWEEN CHARLES VII OF FRANCE AND PHILIP THE GOOD ENDS THE PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN THE ENGLISH AND BURGUNDY IN THE HUNDRED YEARS' WAR.
The English had a partnership with burgundy? I thought they drank nothing but tea.
1745: A HANOVERIAN ARMY UNDER THE COMMAND OF SIR JOHN COPE IS DEFEATED IN TEN MINUTES BY THE JACOBITE FORMS OF PRINCE CHARLES EDWARD STUART.
Doesn't say much about Cope's leadership if he gets his ass kicked in ten minutes.
1780: BENEDICT ARNOLD GIVES THE BRITISH THE PLANS TO WEST POINT.
Must have been harder to commit treason in the days before Wikileaks.
1792: THE NATIONAL CONVENTION DECLARES FRANCE A REPUBLIC AND ABOLISHES THE MONARCHY.
Or should that be...repubic?
1827: JOSEPH SMITH IS REPORTEDLY VISITED BY THE ANGEL MORONI, WHO GAVE HIM A RECORD OF GOLD PLATES, ONE-THIRD OF WHICH SMITH HAS TRANSLATED INTO "THE BOOK OF MORMON."
Possible newspaper headline: Moron Visited By Moroni.
1866: WRITER H.G. WELLS IS BORN.
He wrote the "Time Machine" so he could also be born in 1896, 1926, and 1956.
1897: THE "YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS" EDITORIAL IS PUBLISHED IN THE NEW YORK SUN.
In the middle of September. Virginia might have forgotten this three months later.
1912: ANIMATOR CHUCK JONES IS BORN.
Can somebody tell me why September 21 is not a national holiday?
1931: ACTOR LARRY HAGMAN IS BORN.
Mary Martin was his mom and she got to fly around on Broadway. Well, so did he before he stopped drinking.
1934: A LARGE TYPHOON HITS JAPAN, KILLING 3,036 PEOPLE.
So that's what pissed them off...
1937: J.R.R. TOLKIEN'S "THE HOBBIT" IS PUBLISHED.
Never read the book, never saw the movie.
1938: THE GREAT HURRICANE OF 1938 MAKES LANDFILL ON LONG ISLAND IN NEW YORK, KILLING 500-700 PEOPLE.
But that didn't necessarily piss them off as much. Because, after all, Pearl Harbor was not attacked by Massapequa.
1944: ACTRESS/AUTHOR FANNIE FLAGG IS BORN.
When she dies, will she be at half mast?
1950: ACTOR BILL MURRAY IS BORN.
Who ya gonna call?
1953: LT NO KUM-SOK, A NORTH KOREAN PILOT, DEFECTS TO SOUTH KOREA AND IS ASSOCIATED WITH OPERATION MOOLAH.
Mentioned only because of his name. And perhaps his association to a legendary lady wrestler.
1964: MALTA BECOMES INDEPENDENT FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM.
Because people from Malta are a force to be reckoned with?
1971: BAHRAIN, BHUTAN, AND QATAR JOIN THE UNITED NATIONS.
Countries that are only important because they show up in crossword puzzles all the time.
1972: PHILIPPINE PRESIDENT FERDINAND MARCOS SIGNS PROCLAMATION NO. 1081 PLACING THE ENTIRE COUNTRY UNDER MARTIAL LAW.
You think he was ticked off this day? You should have been there the time he got his wife's credit statement from Payless Shoes.
1974: ACTOR WALTER BRENNAN DIES.
No foolin', he was the Real McCoy.
1974: AUTHOR JACQUELINE SUSANN DIES.
Once was more than enough.
1976: SEYCHELLES JOINS THE UNITED NATIONS.
She sells seychelles by the seashore. I guess they'll let anybody in.
1981: BELIZE IS GRANTED FULL INDEPENDENCE FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM.
Well, it worked out okay for Malta.
1981: SANDRA DAY O'CONNOR IS UNANIMOUSLY APPROVED BY THE U.S. SENATE AS THE FIRST FEMALE SUPREME COURT JUDGE.
Like I said. See above comment about Seychelles joining the U.N..
1989: HURRICANE HUGO MAKES LANDFALL IN SOUTH CAROLINA.
Destroying thousands of homes and amounting to about sixteen dollars worth of damage.
1998: ATHLETE FLORENCE GRIFFITH JOYNER DIES.
The race is over.
2007: ACTRESS ALICE GHOSTLEY DIES.
Many people thought she was Paul Lynde's sister. She wasn't.
2007: TELEVISION PREACHER REX HUMBARD DIES.
Many people thought he was an idiot. He was.
Dinner last night: Vegetable risotto.
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