If I Tweeted - July 2013

I don't, you know.  But, if I did, here's what I had to say in the month that just passed.

#LenSpeaks   Both my knees are strapped.  That could only mean one thing.  July 4 at the Hollywood Bowl.

#LenSpeaks  I've never quit understood people who wear the American flag as part of their wardrobe.

#LenSpeaks  Wait!  There's a lady over there using it as a doo rag.

#LenSpeaks  The average age to see Josh Groban on July 4 was over 80.  Happy to say that I bring that median age down.

#LenSpeaks  A liberal friend announced to me in passing conversation.  "Now that the economy has completely recovered...."

#LenSpeaks  More mis-information courtesy of the kooks and lunatics at MSNBC.

#LenSpeaks  Citi Field in New York is hosting baseball's annual All Star Game and it's the first time some of those field level seats have been actually sat in.

#LenSpeaks  I'm one of those folks who loves the pre-game ceremony and pays little attention to the game itself.

#LenSpeaks  Tom Seaver throws out the first ball and he has clearly lost some weight.  I hear it's due to lyme disease.

#LenSpeaks  Hmmm.  That's got to be one well-fed tick.

#LenSpeaks  Met fans boo all the Phillies and Braves in attendance.  As if they've ever been competitive with those two teams in the past five years.

#LenSpeaks  Leaving JFK Airport on a hazy, hot, and humid day is the equivalent of walking into a convection oven.

#LenSpeaks  Hertz once again screws up my car reservation.  How hard is it for them to "put me in the driver's seat."

#LenSpeaks  I know I'm in NY during the summer.  I take at least two showers a day.

#LenSpeaks  It's official.  My hair is unmanageable in any kind of humidity.

#LenSpeaks  July in New York and I need a cement scraper to remove my clothes at the end of the day.

#LenSpeaks  I mention to somebody that it's the anniversary of the moon landing.  And the young person asks me "where did the moon land?"

#LenSpeaks  The worst part about a thunderstorm in humid NY is that it usually makes the air hotter.

#LenSpeaks  Driving to a friend's home deep in Connecticut, I pass the exit sign that says "NEWTOWN - SANDY HOOK."

#LenSpeaks  There are royal labor pains happening as we speak!

#LenSpeaks  I wonder if some nurse will yell out..."the baby is crowning."

#LenSpeaks  Americans are inexplicably nuts about this royal baby.  Meanwhile, didn't we fight a war to get away from them???

#LenSpeaks  Of course, if you ask me, I'd prefer to be back under English rule.  Especially with the assholes in charge here now.

#LenSpeaks  Obama gets more vacation time than somebody working in the Post Office.  And they get at least five months a year!

#LenSpeaks  Lots of nice benefits for postal workers and mine still can't deliver mail by 6PM.

#LenSpeaks  Andrew Dice Clay is on my flight back to LA and is yelling at the woman he is traveling with.  Am I surprised??

#LenSpeaks  I had to pick up some out-of-town tourists at the international gate of LAX and I was astounded by how many people are coming into this country?

#LenSpeaks  So many Asian women coming in and there can't be that many nail salon jobs....

#LenSpeaks  It's Korean Day at Dodger Stadium and I'm glad it's not the same day as "Bark in the Park."

#LenSpeaks  With all of Koreatown at the game, beagles all across Los Angeles can rest easy this afternoon.

#LenSpeaks  I made a barking noise and two fans in the next row took out steak knifes and a bottle of ketchup.

Dinner last night:  Proscuitto, provolone, and pepperoni panini.