If I Tweeted - November 2013 "Special Thanksgiving Edition"

I don't, you know.   But, if I did, here's what was on my mind this past month.  And be careful not to drop your phone into the gravy.

#LenSpeaks  So many health insurance plans are being cancelled, it's as if they're all airing on NBC.

#LenSpeaks  Obama Lied.   Healthcare died.  As if a lying President is a new phenomenon.

#LenSpeaks  There have been 44 Presidents.   I'm guessing 43 of them have been liars.   I think Zachary Taylor was squeaky clean, though.

#LenSpeaks  You will all note the Obama's re-election website never went down.  

#LenSpeaks  If you like your President, you can keep your President.

#LenSpeaks  When Len rewrites the US Constitution, I will insist that all Presidential candidates pass a history test and a psychological exam.

#LenSpeaks  If that's the case, the last seven Presidents don't even come close to Pennsylvania Avenue. 

#LenSpeaks  To those who embraced the new Democratic Mayor of New York City, I have two words.   David Dinkins.

#LenSpeaks  Dinkins opened up a donut stand, right?

#LenSpeaks  If you didn't pay attention to Veterans Day, shame on you.

#LenSpeaks  Some guy went nuts in LAX Airport and shot a TSA agent.  Oh, just wait on line like everybody else.

#LenSpeaks   Or go TSA-Preferred like I do.  Which is shooting-free

#LenSpeaks  This shooting prompted another call for gun control.  Those people are the same ones going to Quentin Tarantino movies on opening weekend.

#LenSpeaks  Let's face it.   There is a lot of anger in this country.

#LenSpeaks  When the anarchy hits the street, can we put Nancy Pelosi in the front?

#LenSpeaks   I saw Jon Voight in a pastry shop.  Asking for the price on each and every scone.

#LenSpeaks   Jon, you didn't have to do that.  We all noticed you.

#LenSpeaks A typhoon in the Philippines and a tornado in the Midwest.  Which disaster do you think Hollywood will raise money for?

#LenSpeaks  From a recent Big Bang Theory, a hilarious line by Bob Newhart's character on what he does when he wakes up in the middle of the night: "I get up. I pee. And then I wander around the house for a while."

#LenSpeaks   There was a Dodger season ticket holder pre-sale for anybody who wanted to buy tickets for that NHL hockey game being played at the Stadium in January. 

#LenSpeaks   My ticket level price is $279, which is more than what my WS ticket would have cost. Bye, bye, NHL. Pass.

#LenSpeaks  I guess they stopped giving tests to be on Jeopardy.

 #LenSpeaks  Think of the possibilities when it was 9:10 on 11/12/13.

#LenSpeaks   CVS automated checkout: "Please select your language." There is no prompt for "English, God damn it."

#LenSpeaks  The 50th anniversary of JFK is happening.   If Jack Bauer had been there that day, none of it would have happened.

#LenSpeaks  It was also the 50th anniversary of the death of Aldous Huxley on the same day.  Didn't see a single mention on CNN.

#LenSpeaks  Meanwhile, I popped this CBS retrospective DVD in and look at the menu screen.

#LenSpeaks  This could only come from the idiots at CSB News. 

#LenSpeaks  When the next national calamity happens, you do realize it will be completely driven by Facebook and Twitter.

#LenSpeaks  Twitter if it existed on 11/22/63.  #JackieBK  "Oh, no."

#LenSpeaks  Twitter if it existed on 11/24/63.  #LeeHO  "Ouch."

#LenSpeaks  A redundant Macy's balloon?  Chris Christie.

#LenSpeaks  Al Roker looks like a candy bar you left in the car last July.

#LenSpeaks  For me, these are the only people I enjoyed as hosts of the Macy's Parade.

#LenSpeaks  And guess what, NBC?   One of them is still available.

Dinner last night:  Roast beef samdwich from Clementine's.