If I Tweeted - June 2014

I don't, you know.  But, if I did, here's what was on my mind this past month.

#LenSpeaks  Flew to NY.  Not in the city 30 minutes and I've already told one lady to get her head out of her ass.

#LenSpeaks  Ah, yelling at strangers.   I am so at home.

#LenSpeaks  California Chrome racing for the Triple Crown.  That's a horse.  Not a kid with braces in Canoga Park.

#LenSpeaks  NBC started his Belmont Stake pre-show sometime around Memorial Day. 

#LenSpeaks  They might as well.  The Belmont is the only show they have not produced by Lorne Michaels.

#LenSpeaks  This race coverage has gone on so long that Santa Claus is arriving at the end.

#LenSpeaks  Speaking of horses, isn't it time to put Bob Costas out to pasture?

#LenSpeaks  California Chrome loses.  Five minutes later, people don't even remember his name.

#LenSpeaks  Watching the Tony Awards and I realize I've never been thanked in an acceptance speech.  That kind of bothers me.

#LenSpeaks  The Tonys tell me I should go see a Broadway show.  I'll do that next month when I don't pay my apartment rent.

#LenSpeaks  Just like California Chrome, nobody will know who know Best Supporting Actor in a Musical five minutes from now.

#LenSpeaks  Okay, Broadway, I'm on 48th Street and looking to see a show.  Oh, wait, it's Monday.

#LenSpeaks  In Manhattan and doing the whole scene from Annie Hall.  Sitting in front of an office building and making fun of people.

#LenSpeaks   Does anybody really know the extension of the person they are dialing?

#LenSpeaks  Looking out at the clouds at 35,000 feet, which is the one that has all my data files?

#LenSpeaks That Bergdahl trade might be the worst swap since the Mets traded Nolan Ryan for Jim Fregosi.

#LenSpeaks  Did anybody realize the Obama was in a fantasy terrorist league?

#LenSpeaks  Pete Rose managing again for one night in the Atlantic League.  Gee, what were the odds?

#LenSpeaks   One of those Obama urchins worked for a day as a production assistant on a TV show.  Yeah, those kids aren't treated differently at all.

#LenSpeaks  When the hell did everybody get so interested in soccer?

#LenSpeaks  I mean, the World Cup has been around forever.  Now you can't go anywhere without seeing it on TV.

#LenSpeaks  Meanwhile, the Stanley Cups finals was ten times more exciting.   And the total audience nationally was probably less than the seating capacity of Madison Square Garden.

#LenSpeaks  There are probably some World Cup represented countries that shoot players if they lose.

#LenSpeaks  Is it me or is soccer being force fed down our throats?

#LenSpeaks  So the IRS has lost tons of incriminating e-mails and nobody in the media notices.

#LenSpeaks  It's the missing 18 minutes from Nixon's tapes all over again.  Nobody notices.

#LenSpeaks  I mean, if Obama were a Republican, he would have been impeached so many times by now that he would qualify for Supreme Court frequent flyer miles.

#LenSpeaks  Hillary's memoirs selling for 15 bucks at a local super market.  Still overpriced by 20 dollars.

#LenSpeaks  Her book is called "Hard Choices."  Must be thinking of Bill when he's horny.

#LenSpeaks  The last time they slept in the same bed?   The year had to start with "19."

#LenSpeaks   Now a book says she has severe medical issues.  Nobody will care.

#LenSpeaks  Is there anything we do on a daily basis where you don't have to hit "#?"

#LenSpeaks   I will never again see a Tom Cruise movie and I'm kind of proud of that.

Dinner last night:  Bacon wrapped hot dog at Dodger Stadium.