These Church Signs on Loan for Lent

 

Dinner last night:

This Date in History - February 28

 

Happy birthday in Heaven to Gavin MacLeod...one of those lucky stiffs that wound up on three different long-running TV series.

202 BC:  LIU BANG IS ENTHRONED AS THE EMPEROR OF CHINA, BEGINNING FOUR CENTURIES OF RULE BY THE HAN DYNASTY.

Included only because it contains the word "bang."

870:  THE FOURTH COUNCIL OF CONSTANTINOPLE CLOSES.

All boring things must come to an end.

1638:  THE SCOTTISH NATIONAL COVENANT IS SIGNED IN EDINBURGH.

Get those kilts out of the dry cleaners.

1700:  TODAY IS FOLLOWED BY MARCH 1 IN SWEDEN, THUS CREATING THE SWEDISH CALENDAR.

So Swedes born in a leap year don't exist?

1827:  THE BALTIMORE AND OHIO RAILROAD IS INCORPORATED, BECOMING THE FIRST RAILROAD IN AMERICA OFFERING COMMERCIAL TRANSPORTATION OF BOTH PEOPLE AND FREIGHT.

The Uber of the 19th Century.

1844:  A GUN ON USS PRINCETON EXPLODES WHILE THE BOAT IS ON A POTOMAC RIVER CRUISE, KILLING SIX PEOPLE, INCLUDING TWO US CABINET MEMBERS.

Well, that's one way to drain the swamp.

1849:  REGULAR STEAMBOAT SERVICE FROM THE WEST TO THE EAST COAST OF THE US BEGINS WITH THE ARRIVAL OF THE SS CALIFORNIA IN SAN FRANCISCO BAY, FOUR MONTHS 22 DAYS AFTER LEAVING NEW YORK HARBOR.

Now that's a long episode of "The Love Boat."   See how I tied in our birthday boy today.

1867:  SEVENTY YEARS OF HOLY SEE-US RELATIONS ARE ENDED BY A CONGRESSIONAL BAN ON FEDERAL FUNDING OF DIPLOMATIC ENVOYS TO THE VATICAN AND ARE NOT RESTORED UNTIL JANUARY 10, 1984.

Somehow they're blaming this on Trump.

1885:  THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY IS INCORPORATED IN NY AS AMERICAN BELL TELEPHONE.

Oh, ATT.   I get it.

1903:  FILM DIRECTOR VINCENTE MINNELLI IS BORN.

One of several gay guys marred to Judy Garland.

1906:  GANGSTER BUGSY SIEGEL IS BORN.

Las Vegas, you're coming soon.

1915:  ACTOR ZERO MOSTEL IS BORN.

I wonder if his siblings were named One and Two.

1922:  THE UNITED KINGDOM ENDS ITS PROTECTORATE OVER EGYPT.

Now that's a big word.

1931:  ACTOR GAVIN MACLEOD IS BORN.

And the good thing is his last role allowed him to wear a hat over his bald head.

1933:  THE REICHSTAG FIRE DECREE IS PASSED IN GERMANY A DAY AFTER THE REICHSTAG FIRE.

Horse.   Barn door.

1935:  DUPONT SCIENTIST WALLACE CAROTHERS INVENTS NYLON.

What were stockings made of before this?

1939:  THE ERRONEOUS WORD "DORD" IS DISCOVERED IN THE WEBSTER'S NEW INTERNATIONAL DICTIONARY SECOND EDITION, PROMPTING AN INVESTIGATION.

So it's not a legit word on Scrabble?

1939:  DANCER TOMMY TUNE IS BORN.

Five foot one at birth.

1940:  BASKETBALL IS TELEVISED FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH A MADISON SQUARE GARDEN GAME BETWEEN THE UNIVERSITY OF PITTSBURGH AND FORDHAM.

The latter is my alma mater.   Which means they probably lost.

1948:  BROADWAY STAR BERNADETTE PETERS IS BORN.

Trivia fact: she once dated Steve Martin.

1953:  JAMES WATSON AND FRANCIS CRICK ANNOUNCE TO FRIENDS THAT THEY HAVE DETERMINED THE CHEMICAL STRUCTURE OF DNA.

And, as a result, people are spitting into a cup 65 years later.

1954:  THE FIRST COLOR TVS ARE OFFERED FOR SALE TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.

My grandmother never ever bought one.   She stuck to black and white.

1955:  COMIC GILBERT GOTTFRIED IS BORN.

An amazingly normal guy despite the fact he is a fearless comedian who tells the dirtiest jokes imaginable.

1958:  A SCHOOL BUS IN KENTUCKY HITS A WRECKER TRUCK AND PLUNGES DOWN INTO A RIVER.   THE DRIVER AND 26 CHILDREN DIE IN WHAT REMAINS ONE OF THE WORST SCHOOL BUS ACCIDENTS IN US HISTORY.

So where's the hue and cry to outlaw school buses?

1975:  IN LONDON, AN UNDERGROUND TRAIN FAILS TO STOP AT MOORGATE STATION AND CRASHES INTO A TUNNEL, KILLING 43 PEOPLE.

Obviously it was not a local.

1977:  ACTOR EDDIE "ROCHESTER" ANDERSON DIES.

Mr. Benny!

1978:  ACTRESS ZARA CULLY DIES.

Mother Jefferson.

1983:  THE FINAL EPISODE OF "M*A*S*H*" AIRS WITH ALMOST 106 MILLION VIEWERS.  IT STILL HOLDS THE RECORD FOR THE HIGHEST VIEWERSHIP OF A SEASON FINALE.

A good friend of mine co-wrote this.   

1991:  THE FIRST GULF WAR ENDS.

When was the second?

1993:  THE BUREAU OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, AND FIREARMS AGENTS RAID THE BRANCH DAVIDIAN CHURCH IN WACO, TEXAS WITH A WARRANT TO ARREST THE GROUP'S LEADER DAVID KORECH.  FOUR ATF AGENTS AND SIX DAVIDIANS DIE IN THE INITIAL RAID.

So the ATF won?

1993:  ACTRESS RUBY KEELER DIES.

She was all tapped out.

2004:  OVER ONE MILLION TAIWANESE PARTICIPATING IN THE HAND-IN-HAND RALLY FORM A 310 MILE LONG HUMAN CHAIN.

That's an awful lot of hand sanitizer.

2009:  RADIO BROADCASTER PAUL HARVEY DIES.

That really is the end of the story.

2011:  ACTRESS JANE RUSSELL DIES.

I once went to lunch with her.   Really.

2012:  FILM PRODUCER HAL ROACH DIES.

He actually outlived most of the Little Rascals.

2013:  POPE BENEDICT XVI RESIGNS AS THE POPE OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, BECOMING THE FIRST POPE TO DO SO SINCE 1415.

I'm dying to read the exit interview.

2016:  ACTOR GEORGE KENNEDY DIES.

Now it's really a failure to communicate.

2019:  MUSICIAN ANDRE PREVIN DIES.

Married once to Mia Farrow, so look what he shared with Woody Allen.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Watching A Mediocre Movie During a Drug-Infused Haze

 

As a big fan of actor Paul Mescal, I have been waiting a while to see "All of Us Strangers."   I never was able to sync up a theater viewing, so I waited for a stream.

Unfortunately, that started this weekend.  24 hours after my knee replacement surgery.  Now I know there are some films that require a drug or two to get through it.  But this one?   The plot is confusing to begin with as one character goes back to see his mother and father years after they were killed in a car crash.

That, however, was the last clear thought I had watching this film.  My return arrow almost disintegrated from the number of times I had to rewatch a scene.  To say I was confused is an understatement.   I was Joe Biden trying to work out a knock-knock joke.

I may have to rewatch this years from now to see what I missed.   Or maybe I didn't miss anything at all.  Maybe I should have just laid back and enjoyed the buzz.

LEN'S RATING:  1 star and 5 ZZZZZs.

Dinner last night:   Leftover Chinese fried rice.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - February 26, 2024

 Don't despair.  Spring is right around the corner.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese food.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - When We Had to "Fix" Our Dog

 

Now that Tuffy had arrived, I was all over my Schnauzer bias. In fact, I was now a Beagle boy all the way. I couldn't get enough of them or Tuffy. The fact that the New York Mets mascot was also a Beagle named Homer just made me feel even more special. To me, there was no other dog to own.

During her first months in our house, Tuffy and I were inseparable. Except for school hours, we were together constantly. In retrospect, she really became the sibling I never had. And one I didn't have to share the television set with.

The after-school walk around the neighborhood was my favorite time of day. Up 15th Avenue, down 14th Avenue, over across First Street, up Vista Place, and then down 15th Avenue to home. We'd stop to talk to any of my friends that were out and about. Tuffy would pause occasionally to sniff and do her other outside business. Everybody knew her name. She was our neighborhood's version of the Cheers bar. And nobody was prouder than me. This was my dog. A constant companion.

Until...

...my mother uttered those words that I didn't comprehend.

"Tuffy's going to have THE operation."

Huh? The mere mention of this sent shivers up my spine. You see, in those days of my youth, I was convinced that any surgery was a death sentence. Ever since my uncle, my father's brother, had gone in for some routine procedure and ended up dying a couple of weeks later, I was sure that a scalpel on any part of your body was an immediate call to the grim reaper. In my mind, nobody survived the operating table. Now, my dog was headed there. Why?

"The doctor needs to do something so she doesn't have babies."

Huh? I think I was still buying into that "God puts a seed on your plate and then you have a baby" nonsense. I needed more information. And, besides, don't we want a lot of cute little puppies? A houseful of Beagles?

"We're not made of money."

Oh, that, again. How many times are you going to trot out that chestnut?

My mother explained to me as best she could the process of spaying a dog, although, at no time, did a male dog in heat enter into the story. Still, this was probably the first ever explanation of sex that even remotely entered my mind. 

Frankly, I didn't give a shit about the logistics. Tuffy was going under what may be the sharpest knife ever known to man. And it would be done in a doctor's office. And she would have to spend the night there.

I cried non-stop for three days.

As the day of reckoning approached, I spent more and more time with my dog. I figured this was it. The end. She'd be on the table. There would be the usual complications. Nurses would be frenzied, running in and out. The vet would come out to me and say, "Sorry, there was nothing we could do." I became more and more attached to Tuffy in what I figured were her final days.

To make matters worse, I wasn't even going to be part of the entourage taking her into the doctor. That would be my mother and her girlfriend. For me, it would be a "regular" day. In school, listening to somebody drone on about long division. Sitting in class, I hit on a scheme that would disrupt the plans. If I were sick, my mother couldn't take Tuffy to the vet because she would have to come and get me from school.

I doubled up in pain and began to wail. I needed to go to the nurse's office.
Off I went to Mrs. Gueft and her office full of Band Aids and tongue depressors. Unbeknowst to me, the entire Grimes School had read into my charade. You see, my mother had told my teacher, Mrs. Popper, about Tuffy's surgery. And Mrs. Popper had told Mrs. Gueft. And I am guessing Mrs. Gueft had even alerted the Daily Argus, the city newspaper. So, my grimacing and dramatic clutching of my abdomen would all be for naught. They all knew what was behind my hysterics.

"Mrs. Gueft, don't you want to call my mother to come get me?"

Negative response. I would be fine. Just lay down and relax.

I reclined on the cot in her office. This was not working out the way I planned. And, worse, my dog was going to be dying at the hands of some butcher. Probably within the next hour.

"Mrs. Gueft...."

Shhhhh. Just relax. She promised I would feel better.

The only problem now was that my stomach was really starting to hurt. In earnest. But, the boy who wanted to cry "Beagle" was now perceived as the boy who was crying "Wolf." And, as far as the school nurse was concerned, I was barking up the wrong tree.

"Shhhhhh, lay still."

Eventually, the pains subsided. After a few hours, I was allowed back to class. And then went home to a Tuffy-less house. I was delighted to hear that Tuffy had lived, but I was pissed nonetheless. To demonstrate my anger, I refused to speak to my mother. But, downstairs, my grandmother was no help.

"Tuffy's going to be fine. I had the same operation."

Oh, wow, that was way too much information!

My dog came home the next afternoon and was really out of commission for the next week or so. She simply slept in her box. Lying on her back, I could see the doctor's handiwork. A two inch wire stuck out of her stomach. I started to cry again. Would she ever been the same again?

She was. And delighted us all for the next eighteen years.

Dinner last night:  Leftover chili.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - February 2024

 Sixty years ago, this piece of campy trash was opening in theaters.  I love the fancy intro by Peter Lawford, making this movie look a lot better than it is.

Dinner last night:  Chinese food from Chin Chin.

Photographic Phun?

 

More photographic torture. Proof that this is one strange country. Take, for instance, the twisted young miss above. I suppose some guys will find this impressive. Actually, I do. Bravo. Honey, are you on Facebook? We should be friends.

The strange thing is that neither of these kids know this man. When does your local neighborhood predator pose for photos?

To all those women who think they are beautiful when pregnant: you're not. Call me when the kid is out and already teething.

A new movie is opening: Nightmare on Easter Sunday.

I'd love to see what this family looks like five seconds later.

"What do you mean that I have a pre-existing condition?"

And this is a family that probably has hand sanitizers all over the house.

When narcolepsy strikes on your wedding day...

"Whacha mean you want some sugar? I already gave you plenty."

Dinner last night:  Prepping for knee surgery so nothing really.

Hollywood Then and Now - February 2024

Welp, one might say there's nothing to see here.   Unless you're a big movie nut like me.

Now one of my very favorite movies is Hitchcock's "North By Northwest."  And one of my very favorite scenes in this movie is the famed crop dusting scene where Cary Grant is menaced by a plane on a deserted road.

How desolate can you get?   Kudos to the location manager who found this spot.

Which, according to Google, is someplace not in the Midwest, but Wasco California.   

And it's good to see that the desolation has continued intact.

I'm guessing not a lot of Hollywood tours put this on their route.

Dinner last night:  Leftover lasagna.

This Date in History - February 21

 

Happy birthday to C-3PO.  Well, sort of.   

1245:  THOMAS, THE FIRST KNOWN BISHOP OF FINLAND, IS GRANTED RESIGNATION AFTER CONFESSING TO TORTURE AND FORGERY.

This is what half of the country hopes is in the future for Donald Trump.

1437:  JAMES I OF SCOTLAND IS ASSASSINATED.

When mere resignation is just not enough.

1440:  THE PRUSSIAN CONFEDERATION IS FORMED.

Yay, if you're a Prussian.

1613:  MIKHAIL I IS UNANIMOUSLY ELECTED TSAR , BEGINNING THE ROMANOV DYNASTY OF IMPERIAL RUSSIA.

Yay, if you're Mikhail I.

1804:  THE FIRST SELF-PROPELLING STEAM LOCOMOTIVE MAKES ITS FIRST OUTING IN WALES.

Come ride the little train that is rolling down the track at the junction....

1828:  INITIAL ISSUE OF THE CHEROKEE PHOENIX IS THE FIRST PERIODICAL TO USE THE CHEROKEE SYLLABARY INVENTED BY SEQUOYAH.

Heap big deal.

1842:  JOHN GREENOUGH IS GRANTED THE FIRST US PATENT FOR THE SEWING MACHINE.

Must have had a rip in his pants.

1848:  KARL MARX AND FRIEDRICH ENGELS PUBLISH THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO.

As opposed to Chico Marx and Marty Ingels.

1874:  THE OAKLAND DAILY TRIBUNE PUBLISHES ITS FIRST EDITION.

That's a newspaper for those of you who forgot.

1878:  THE FIRST TELEPHONE DIRECTORY IS ISSUED IN CONNECTICUT.

That's how people used to find phone numbers for those of you who forgot.

1885:  THE NEWLY COMPLETED WASHINGTON MONUMENT IS DEDICATED.

Commemorative paper weights to follow.

1918:  THE LAST CAROLINA PARAKEET DIES IN CAPTIVITY AT THE CINCINNATI ZOO.

Parakeets don't live long.  I know.  I had one when I was a kid.

1925:  THE NEW YORKER PUBLISHES ITS FIRST ISSUE.

And who was the first dentist to have it in the waiting room?

1925:  FILM DIRECTOR SAM PECKINPAH IS BORN.

The Wild Bunch!

1927:  AUTHOR ERMA BOMBECK IS BORN.

Some people loved her books.   So there's that.

1933:  SINGER NINA SIMONE IS BORN.

I saw a documentary about her and she was clearly nuts.

1934:  ACTRESS RUE MCCLANAHAN IS BORN.

The Golden Girl.  I met her once.

1937:  THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS BANS FOREIGN NATIONAL VOLUNTEERS IN THE SPANISH CIVIL WAR.

By the way, is there ever anything civil about war?

1945:  WORLD WAR II - DURING THE BATTLE OF IWO JIMA, JAPANESE KAMIKAZE PLANES SINK THE ESCORT CARRIER USS BISMARCK SEA AND DAMAGE THE USS SARATOGA.

Not the Bismarck that was sunk in the song.   That was another one.

1946:  ACTOR ANTHONY DANIELS IS BORN.

Behind all that gold armor, does any know what he looks like?

1946:  ACTOR ALAN RICKMAN IS BORN.

And died 70 years later...way too soon.

1947:  IN NEW YORK CITY, EDWIN LAND DEMONSTRATES THE FIRST 'INSTANT CAMERA," THE POLAROID LAND CAMERA, TO A MEETING OF THE OPTICAL SOCIETY OF AMERICA.

Waiting two minutes for your photo to be developed.

1948:  NASCAR IS INCORPORATED.

V-room.

1952:  THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT, UNDER WINSTON CHURCHILL, ABOLISHES IDENTITY CARDS IN THE UK TO SET THE PEOPLE FREE.

Free from what?  More information please.

1955:  ACTOR KELSEY GRAMMER IS BORN.

This is Frasier Crane.   I'm listening.

1965:  MALCOLM X IS ASSASSINATED AT THE AUDUBON BALLROOM IN NEW YORK CITY.

If he was ever on "What's My Line?," would he sign in as "Mr. X?"

1972:  US PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON VISITS THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA TO NORMALIZE SINO-AMERICAN RELATIONS.

Were Sino-American relations ever abnormal?

1975:  WATERGATE - FORMER US ATTORNEY GENERAL JOHN MITCHELL AND FORMER WHITE HOUSE AIDES HR HALDEMAN AND JOHN EHRLICHMAN ARE SENTENCED TO PRISON.

Like 5000 lawyers on the bottom of the ocean...a good start.

1995:  STEVE FOSSETT LANDS IN CANADA BECOMING THE FIRST PERSON TO MAKE A SOLO FLIGHT ACROSS THE PACIFIC OCEAN IN A BALLOON.

Except he was trying to land in San Diego.

2018:  EVANGELIST BILLY GRAHAM DIES.

Lunching with Jesus on February 22.

2019:  FILM DIRECTOR/DANCER STANLEY DONEN DIES.

Done in.

2019:  MONKEE PETER TORK DIES.

Who's up for a Last Train to Clarksville joke?

Dinner last night:   Sandwich.

Swan Dive

 

Who can explain what draws me to certain movies and TV shows?   This latest "Feud" edition, which is a continuation of vomit spewed by the overrated, uncreative mind of Ryan Murphy.  Murphy and his gay posse love to put these period pieces together of old Hollywood and even older Manhattan cafe society and trash the female figures involved.   Indeed, everything Murphy produced is the same and he clearly needs to increase the number of psychiatric sessions he attends in a week.

I've had little interest in this junk and "Capote Vs. The Swans" provoked the least interest in me.   The main character is writer Truman Capote and five minutes with him is enough to make you want to bash his forehead with a meat tenderizer repeatedly.   A talented writer but a horrible human being.   Here, we learn all about the relationships he had with grand dames of Manhattan like Slim Hayward, Joanna Carson, Lee Radziwill and Babe Paley.   They hated him.  He loathed them.  But they lunched every day.

Somehow, FX is making eight episodes where forty-two minutes is more than enough.  Oh, have I said it makes you to want to bash in Capote's skull?  While the stellar cast is a draw, there are no redeeming qualities.   And Jessica Lange swooping in  to play Truman's dead mother is such a hammy ploy that you then want to bash in her skull.   God, this junk provokes violent tendencies, doesn't it?

Of course, this wouldn't be a Ryan Murphy production without exaggerations of the truth and some blatant factual errata.  For instance, at a 1955 dinner party with CBS honcho Bill Paley, Capote discusses the TV show "Sixty Minutes."

That didn't go on the air till 1968.

Oh, and there's a scene where Capote is watching and extolling the TV show "Family" at Thanksgiving 1976.   Except the show didn't go on the air till Spring 1977.

When you can't get basic historical facts right, just how are you fudging the characterizations of the ladies in this show?   I can only imagine.

But, sadly, I am sticking with this and you ask why.   Well, the odd reason why I am drawn to this in the first place is the inclusion of Calista Flockhart as Lee in the cast.   Of course, just my luck.  She's not in it a lot.

Len never learns.

Dinner last night:  Leftover lasagna.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - February 19, 2024

Having just watched "Moonlighting"...for the first time...I giggle at how they filled time when episodes ran short.   A great show that went off the rails because of the pomposity of the show's creator. 

Dinner last night:  Lasagna.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - When We Became a Dog Family

 

You've seen this picture of my beagle Tuffy before. Sadly, it's the only photo of her, so it will turn up every time I do a piece about my childhood pet. The good news is that this is also the only known snapshot of our kitchen sink and stove. 

Trust me, that's welcome news for all.

Picking up on my birthday last week, Tuffy was the present I got for my eighth birthday. After about a year of family deliberation, it was finally decided that a dog could be added to our household. Trust me, the discussion prior to her arrival made the Yalta Peace Talks during World War II look like an episode of the "Kelly Clarkson Show."

You see, Tuffy wasn't supposed to be Tuffy. Lucy, I'll 'splain.

The dog acquisition dialogue had begun the summer prior. Usually precipitated by my annoying question. When can I have a dog?

"Ask your father."

Dad?

"Ask your mother."

Mom?

"Ask your father."

Round and round and round it went.

Other voting precincts checked in. The grandparents downstairs. First, Grandpa.

"What do you want a dog for?"

"Grandma?

"I'm not going to clean up all that poop."

Got it. So, you can see how hard it was to get them all on the same page. Once it was confirmed that, yes, a pooch would be coming at some point, we needed to decide just what breed to get. Now, I had cousins who owned a collie. Forget the cute Lassie connection embedded there. A boy and his dog. My cousin's collie was a virtual horse that may or may not have run some races as a trotter at Yonkers Raceway. There was really no need and/or desire to have a dog like Lassie in our midst. First of all, I rarely fell into a well. And Grandma had already essayed a keen observation on my cousin's pet.

"That dog makes a lot of poop."

Other relatives had a cocker spaniel and my mother had a desire to duplicate that. As for me, I was less than interested. The cocker spaniel didn't look like a "guy's dog." Maybe a guy living in West Hollywood. I imagined proudly walking my best friend up and down the block. I couldn't see doing that with a cocker spaniel. To me, this breed was the perfect target for a firecracker up the ass. 

Sadly, we actually had kids in our neighborhood who specialized in just that kind of flagrant activity.

Ultimately, we settled on what we wanted for a dog. One of those miniature Schnauzers. With the slight German connection, we thought this would make it an easier sell for Grandma.

"They still poop."

Okay, got it.

For the next several months, we immersed ourselves in all things Schnauzer. We even went to the local pet store and bought a book devoted to the care and wellness of a Schnauzer. Even the names we started to debate all took on that general German flavor as well. Potentially, our dog could be named after a food.

"Sauerbraten."

"Schnitzel."

"Rheingold." That was Grandpa's suggestion.

Or an actual German person.

"Hans."

"Helga."

"Johann."

At various points, we referred to our still-coming dog with every possible German word or name in the Berlitz book, except perhaps for "Adolf."
As my birthday approached, I'd ask the same question every day.

"When is Schnitzel coming?"

Soon, I would hear back. But, as we got closer and closer to my special day, the answers started to change. And sounded more and more ominous.

"Ask your father."

Uh oh. I smelled another argument brewing. Apparently, Dad had been entrusted with the shopping and acquisition of said animal. And was probably late coming through with the goods.

My birthday came and went. No dog.

"Where's Rheingold?"

The previously terse responses had morphed into sneers and grunts.

Uh oh.

I came home from school the day after my birthday. As I bounded up the stairs to our part of the house, I heard the sound of a chain being dragged against the kitchen floor. Was this at last Johann? Or had we purchased a slave?
I ran down the hall into the kitchen and was greeted by my parents. And my new dog.

It was not a Schnauzer. It didn't look like Schnitzel or Hans or Sauerbraten. After months of studying books about Schnauzers, I was floored as I stared at the little dog on the floor.

"What's that???"

Mom sneered.

"That's a beagle."

Oh.

What had happened was that my dad had gotten a deal. In his part time job delivering oil for his cousin, my father had a pet store as a client. The guy had all these beagles in the window and Dad cut a bargain. For a full breed beagle, my father had negotiated the price of 25 bucks for the dog. Hey, he had secured the animal. He had done his part. And, after all...

"We're not made of money."

Oh.

Mom and I had to regroup quickly. All the names we had on our list no longer fit. For about a week, our beagle was simply referred to as "the dog." And no one name seemed to work. How we arrived at the ultimate choice? I have no idea. 

Our new arrival just sort of emerged into "Tuffy."

And, despite my disappointment those first days, Tuffy and I became inseparable. It was truly a boy and his dog. We operated as one entity.

Until...

To be continued.

Dinner last night:  Leftover SPO.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - February 2024

Sixty years ago, this was winding up its long run.   You can tell the show was on a long time by the 11 different openings to the program.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Your Weekend Movie Guide for February 2024

 Ah, the beloved Cinerama Dome shown on its opening night in 1963.   "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" was the first feature and truly it's been a mad world since the Dome and the adjoining Arclight complex closed due to COVID in March 2020.  The rumor now is that they are renovating and will open in 2025.   Yes and please.

Meanwhile, other cinema houses continue to unveil the garbage Hollywood has to offer.   You know the monthly drill by now.   I'll sift through Fandango and give you my gut reaction to what's out there this week.

As for me, I'll continue to dream of that dome.

Lisa Frankenstein:  Everybody I dated in college.

Argylle:  Not the socks.   I think there's a cat involved.

Out of Darkness:   Set in the Stone Age.  Wilma!!!!

Anyone But You:  Recently reviewed here.  Surprisingly clever rom com.

Mean Girls:  Needless remake of a movie that was needless in the first place.

Poor Things:  Recently reviewed here.   Perhaps the worst movie I have saw.  But look at all those Oscar noms.

American Fiction:   Whites are bad.  Blacks are good.  Rinse and repeat.

Turning Red:  The latest Pixar garbage.

The Beekeeper:  Not getting stung.

Cell Phone:  Gee, I wonder.

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive:  Spoiler alert...she doesn't.

Bob Marley - One Love:  Reggae is the hip hop of the 60s.

Madame Web:   More superhero bullshit.

Altered Reality:  Joe Biden's thought process.

Bleeding Love:  Thelma and Louise with a father and daughter.

Land of Bad:  Some war movie with Russell Crowe.  

Lights Out:  The LA power grid.

No Way Up:  Airport meets the Poseidon Adventure.   A plane crashes to the ocean floor.

Dinner last night:  Had a huge lunch.

Len's Recipe of the Month - February 2024

 

Now I've made chili before and even posted a recipe here for it.    But good cooks are always open to adaptation.   A YouTube chef I follow is Brian Lagerstrom.  He did a chili that allegedly tastes slow cooked but can be ready in an hour.  I was intrigued and ultimately rewarded, although I did let his concoction slow cooked for a couple of hours.  The longer, the better.

And the first step is the variation.   Instead of browning 2 to 2.5 of 80% ground beef in a pain, Brian has you lay out in a cookie sheet and broil it for 12 minutes.  You supposedly come out with a beefier kind of beef.

While your meat is broiled, prep the aromatics in a Dutch oven.   In some EVOL, saute one chopped onion and a few minced garlic cloves.   When they have some color, add the following:

2 8 0z cans of diced tomatoes.

1 8 oz can of tomato sauce.

1 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes.  Use fire roasted if you can find it.

1 small can of chopped chipotle peppers.

(Len's addition) 1 small can of green chiles.

1 tablespoon of tomato paste.

4 teaspoons of hot sauce.

2 teaspoons of brown sugar.

2 teaspoons of Worcester sauce.

1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar.

2 teaspoons of beef flavored "Better than Bouillon."   A great product that is much better than regular beef stock.

Now, as for the spices, I took the easy way out.  McCormick's makes a great package of chili spices.  Use that.  It's cheaper.

Now pour in your broiled beef in small pieces.   Also use any of the juice in the pain.

Add 3 to 4 cans of Bush's dark red kidney beans.   Also a superior product.

Let it simmer for as long as you like.  And it freezes well for future dinners.

See how you like this spin on an old reliable.

Dinner last night:  Some more leftovers of the stuff above.

This Date in History - February 14

 

Let's see what this day of love has provided us down through the ages.

842:  CHARLES THE BALD AND LOUIS THE GERMAN SWEAR THE OATHS OF STRASBOURG IN THE FRENCH AND GERMAN LANGUAGES.

Two guys who sound like wrestlers.

1014:  POPE BENEDICT VIII CROWNS HENRY OF BAVARIA, KING OF GERMANY AND OF ITALY, AS HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR.

Somebody's got himself a lot of territory.

1076:  POPE GREGORY VII EXCOMMUNICATES HENRY IV, HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR.

And so it goes.

1130:  POPE INNOCENT II IS ELECTED.

When do we get Pope Guilty I?

1349:  SEVERAL HUNDRED JEWS ARE BURNED TO DEATH BY MOBS WHILE THE REMAINING JEWS ARE FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM STRASBOURG.

And you thought Hitler started all this?

1502:  SPANISH INQUISITION - THE CATHOLIC MONARCHS ISSUE A DECREE FORCING MUSLIMS IN GRANADA TO CONVERT TO CATHOLICISM OR LEAVE SPAIN.

And you thought Trump started all this?

1849:  IN NEW YORK CITY, JAMES POLK BECOMES THE FIRST SERVING PRESIDENT OF THE US TO HAVE HIS PHOTO TAKEN.

Must have been a sale at Sears.

1852:  GREAT ORMOND ST HOSPITAL FOR SICK CHILDREN, THE FIRST HOSPITAL IN ENGLAND TO PROVIDE IN-PATIENT BEDS SPECIFICALLY FOR CHILDREN, IS FOUNDED IN LONDON.

Up until this date, sick kids were kept down in the lobby.

1855:  TEXAS IS LINKED BY TELEGRAPH TO THE REST OF THE UNITED STATES.

You'll regret that.

1859:  OREGON IS ADMITTED AS THE 33RD US STATE.

Good, now we have another place we can get Christmas trees from.

1876:  ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL APPLIES FOR A PATENT FOR THE TELEPHONE, AS DOES ELISHA GRAY.

Good thing Bell won or we would have had the "Gray Telephone Hour" on NBC.

1894:  COMEDIAN JACK BENNY IS BORN.

Another date in history that should be preserved as a national holiday.

1899:  VOTING MACHINES ARE APPROVED BY THE US CONGRESS FOR USE IN FEDERAL ELECTIONS.

And somebody figured out how to rig them on February 15, 1899.

1905:  ACTRESS THELMA RITTER IS BORN.

Brilliant actress who could do both drama and comedy.

1907:  JOCKEY JOHNNY LONGDEN IS BORN.

Mentioned only because....well, you will see below.

1912:  ARIZONA IS ADMITTED AS THE 48TH US STATE.

That happened a lot later than I thought.

1912:  THE US NAVY COMMISSIONS ITS FIRST CLASS OF DIESEL-POWERED SUBMARINES.

Might be good to use in a world war, as if that will ever happen.

1913:  SPORTSCASTER MEL ALLEN IS BORN.

How about that?

1913:  LABOR LEADER JIMMY HOFFA IS BORN.

And died on...well....we think he did.

1916:  ACTOR EDWARD PLATT IS BORN.

Sorry about that, Chief.

1920:  THE LEAGUE OF WOMEN VOTERS IS FOUNDED IN CHICAGO.

No designated hitter, though.

1921:  TV HOST HUGH DOWNS IS BORN.

Number 2....number 28....sorry, not a match.

1924:  THE COMPUTING-TABULATING-RECORDING COMPANY CHANGES ITS NAME TO INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MACHINES....OR IBM.

Well, that flows off the tongue a little easier.

1929:  SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE - SEVEN PEOPLE, SIX OF THEM GANGSTER RIVALS OF AL CAPONE'S GANG, ARE MURDERED IN CHICAGO.

When a box of candy just isn't enough...

1934:  ACTRESS FLORENCE HENDERSON IS BORN.

I know from experience...she was one first class bitch.

1942:  NY MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG IS BORN.

Say what you want, but he was a shitload better than the asshole in the job now.

1945:  PRESIDENT FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT MEETS WITH KING IBN SAUD OF SAUDI ARABIA ABOARD THE USS QUINCY, OFFICIALLY BEGINNING US-SAUDI DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS.

You got about two months left, FDR.

1949:  THE KNESSET OR ISRAELI PARLIAMENT CONVENES FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Knesset sounds like knish.

1956:  THE 20TH CONGRESS OF THE COMMUNIST PART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEGINS IN MOSCOW.  ON THE LAST NIGHT OF THE MEETING, PREMIER NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV CONDEMNS JOSEPH STALIN'S CRIMES.

Sure...now that he's dead.

1983:  THE UNITED AMERICAN BANK OF KNOXVILLE COLLAPSES.   ITS PRESIDENT, JAKE BUTCHER, IS LATER CONVICTED OF FRAUD.

This is where all the banking mayhem started.

1988:  COMPOSER FREDERICK LOEWE DIES.

"Gigi" and "My Fair Lady."

1989:  IRANIAN LEADER RUHOLLAH KHOMEINI ISSUES A FATWA ENCOURAGING MUSLIMS TO KILL SALMAN RUSHDIE.

Ah, so that's where Larry David got his plotline for season 9 of "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

1990:  THE VOYAGER I SPACECRAFT TAKES THE PHOTOGRAPH OF PLANET EARTH THAT BECOMES FAMOUS AS PALE BLUE DOT.

Copies available at your local Fotomat.

1995:  ACTOR MICHAEL V. GAZZO DIES.

This time, not in a bathtub like when he got offed in "The Godfather, Part 2."

1999:  POLITICIAN JOHN EHRLICHMAN DIES.

Still guilty.

2003:  JOCKEY JOHNNY LONGDEN DIES.

One of those oddballs whose life was perfectly symmetrical from birth to death.

2005:  YOUTUBE IS LAUNCHED BY A GROUP OF COLLEGE STUDENTS.

They had no idea at the time.

2009:  DRUMMER LOUIE BELLSON DIES.

Mr. Pearl Bailey.

2014:  BASEBALL STAR JIM FREGOSI DIES.

And, no surprise, Nolan Ryan is still with us.

2015:  ACTOR LOUIS JOURDAN DIES.

Star of "Gigi" written by the aforementioned Frederick Loewe.

2018:  THE PARKLAND SCHOOL SHOOTING IN FLORIDA, KILLING 17.

Not to be confused with the hospital with its three notable shooting victims.

Dinner last night:  Roast beef sandwich from Bristol Farms.