842: CHARLES THE BALD AND LOUIS THE GERMAN SWEAR THE OATHS OF STRASBOURG IN THE FRENCH AND GERMAN LANGUAGES.
Two guys who sound like wrestlers.
1014: POPE BENEDICT VIII CROWNS HENRY OF BAVARIA, KING OF GERMANY AND OF ITALY, AS HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR.
Somebody's got himself a lot of territory.
1076: POPE GREGORY VII EXCOMMUNICATES HENRY IV, HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR.
And so it goes.
1130: POPE INNOCENT II IS ELECTED.
When do we get Pope Guilty I?
1349: SEVERAL HUNDRED JEWS ARE BURNED TO DEATH BY MOBS WHILE THE REMAINING JEWS ARE FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM STRASBOURG.
And you thought Hitler started all this?
1502: SPANISH INQUISITION - THE CATHOLIC MONARCHS ISSUE A DECREE FORCING MUSLIMS IN GRANADA TO CONVERT TO CATHOLICISM OR LEAVE SPAIN.
And you thought Trump started all this?
1849: IN NEW YORK CITY, JAMES POLK BECOMES THE FIRST SERVING PRESIDENT OF THE US TO HAVE HIS PHOTO TAKEN.
Must have been a sale at Sears.
1852: GREAT ORMOND ST HOSPITAL FOR SICK CHILDREN, THE FIRST HOSPITAL IN ENGLAND TO PROVIDE IN-PATIENT BEDS SPECIFICALLY FOR CHILDREN, IS FOUNDED IN LONDON.
Up until this date, sick kids were kept down in the lobby.
1855: TEXAS IS LINKED BY TELEGRAPH TO THE REST OF THE UNITED STATES.
You'll regret that.
1859: OREGON IS ADMITTED AS THE 33RD US STATE.
Good, now we have another place we can get Christmas trees from.
1876: ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL APPLIES FOR A PATENT FOR THE TELEPHONE, AS DOES ELISHA GRAY.
Good thing Bell won or we would have had the "Gray Telephone Hour" on NBC.
1894: COMEDIAN JACK BENNY IS BORN.
Another date in history that should be preserved as a national holiday.
1899: VOTING MACHINES ARE APPROVED BY THE US CONGRESS FOR USE IN FEDERAL ELECTIONS.
And somebody figured out how to rig them on February 15, 1899.
1905: ACTRESS THELMA RITTER IS BORN.
Brilliant actress who could do both drama and comedy.
1907: JOCKEY JOHNNY LONGDEN IS BORN.
Mentioned only because....well, you will see below.
1912: ARIZONA IS ADMITTED AS THE 48TH US STATE.
That happened a lot later than I thought.
1912: THE US NAVY COMMISSIONS ITS FIRST CLASS OF DIESEL-POWERED SUBMARINES.
Might be good to use in a world war, as if that will ever happen.
1913: SPORTSCASTER MEL ALLEN IS BORN.
How about that?
1913: LABOR LEADER JIMMY HOFFA IS BORN.
And died on...well....we think he did.
1916: ACTOR EDWARD PLATT IS BORN.
Sorry about that, Chief.
1920: THE LEAGUE OF WOMEN VOTERS IS FOUNDED IN CHICAGO.
No designated hitter, though.
1921: TV HOST HUGH DOWNS IS BORN.
Number 2....number 28....sorry, not a match.
1924: THE COMPUTING-TABULATING-RECORDING COMPANY CHANGES ITS NAME TO INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MACHINES....OR IBM.
Well, that flows off the tongue a little easier.
1929: SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE - SEVEN PEOPLE, SIX OF THEM GANGSTER RIVALS OF AL CAPONE'S GANG, ARE MURDERED IN CHICAGO.
When a box of candy just isn't enough...
1934: ACTRESS FLORENCE HENDERSON IS BORN.
I know from experience...she was one first class bitch.
1942: NY MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG IS BORN.
Say what you want, but he was a shitload better than the asshole in the job now.
1945: PRESIDENT FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT MEETS WITH KING IBN SAUD OF SAUDI ARABIA ABOARD THE USS QUINCY, OFFICIALLY BEGINNING US-SAUDI DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS.
You got about two months left, FDR.
1949: THE KNESSET OR ISRAELI PARLIAMENT CONVENES FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Knesset sounds like knish.
1956: THE 20TH CONGRESS OF THE COMMUNIST PART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEGINS IN MOSCOW. ON THE LAST NIGHT OF THE MEETING, PREMIER NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV CONDEMNS JOSEPH STALIN'S CRIMES.
Sure...now that he's dead.
1983: THE UNITED AMERICAN BANK OF KNOXVILLE COLLAPSES. ITS PRESIDENT, JAKE BUTCHER, IS LATER CONVICTED OF FRAUD.
This is where all the banking mayhem started.
1988: COMPOSER FREDERICK LOEWE DIES.
"Gigi" and "My Fair Lady."
1989: IRANIAN LEADER RUHOLLAH KHOMEINI ISSUES A FATWA ENCOURAGING MUSLIMS TO KILL SALMAN RUSHDIE.
Ah, so that's where Larry David got his plotline for season 9 of "Curb Your Enthusiasm."
1990: THE VOYAGER I SPACECRAFT TAKES THE PHOTOGRAPH OF PLANET EARTH THAT BECOMES FAMOUS AS PALE BLUE DOT.
Copies available at your local Fotomat.
1995: ACTOR MICHAEL V. GAZZO DIES.
This time, not in a bathtub like when he got offed in "The Godfather, Part 2."
1999: POLITICIAN JOHN EHRLICHMAN DIES.
Still guilty.
2003: JOCKEY JOHNNY LONGDEN DIES.
One of those oddballs whose life was perfectly symmetrical from birth to death.
2005: YOUTUBE IS LAUNCHED BY A GROUP OF COLLEGE STUDENTS.
They had no idea at the time.
2009: DRUMMER LOUIE BELLSON DIES.
Mr. Pearl Bailey.
2014: BASEBALL STAR JIM FREGOSI DIES.
And, no surprise, Nolan Ryan is still with us.
2015: ACTOR LOUIS JOURDAN DIES.
Star of "Gigi" written by the aforementioned Frederick Loewe.
2018: THE PARKLAND SCHOOL SHOOTING IN FLORIDA, KILLING 17.
Not to be confused with the hospital with its three notable shooting victims.
Dinner last night: Roast beef sandwich from Bristol Farms.
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