Your February 2025 Rap Sheet

 This month I am including the actual crime...some of them so weird that they are worth mentioning.

 Arrested for attacking herself with a sword.

 Substitute teacher caught selling narcotics to her students.

 College professor caught taping sexual encounters with his students.

Yet another member of college academia caught having sex with a student.

Broke into a u-Haul to save a rabbit.

 ROTC instructor caught having sex with his students.

 Threw her infant out of the car window into the woods.

 Kept 44 rats, 16 horses, 8 dogs, and one cat in her house.

 Regularly inhaled nitrous oxide with her child.

 Raped a boy at knifepoint.

 Arrested for regularly burying puppies alive.

Pledged on his Facebook page to kill Trump on Inauguration Day.

Dinner last night:  Taylor ham and cheese omelet.

Morons of the Month - February 2025

 

Well, it's got to be somebody's fault, right?

That's the way it works in America these days.  When one political party is in power, any problem and/or calamity is immediately their fault.   Right now, it's the Republican party in power and they are the evil empire with Donald Trump walking around like Darth Vader.  I know lots of folks who are so disgusted that they pledge to get off social media for the next four years.  Except they spend every waking moment telling people they're going off social media on...where else?...social media.

Clearly, there are folks out there who have watched every episode of "The West Wing" way too many times.  When the Democrats comprise the majority in DC, the Republicans act like only "24's" Jack Bauer can save us.  

This is the evil cycle our country is stuck in and it gets more and more pronounced with each successive administration.   As soon as one party gets in, they are responsible for every single thing that happens almost as soon as they all take their oaths of office.

Take, for instance, last week.  Admittedly, not a good week to fly in the United States.  Lots of souls lost, but it didn't take long for conspiracy theories to pop out like candy from a Pez dispenser.   

And it's all Trump's fault even though he's only been in office for two weeks.  Now if the parties were reversed and this happened a month ago, it would have been Old Man Biden's problem.  Equally as misguided.  

What the morons around us don't understand is changes don't have results that quickly.   Government moves at a snail's pace and things don't have immediate causes and effects.

The two deadly plane crashes last week are not the fault of Trump or Biden or Obama or Bush.   Actually, it is the fault of all of them.  Our leaders have taken their eyes off the ball and spent more time trying to get and keep jobs as opposed to actually doing them.

Trust me, there's plenty of blame to go around to everybody.   But the real culprits are those who have let this happen.  I mean, we embody all the positives of a democracy at work.   

We are also responsible for the negatives as well.   This is a worthy message but sadly people won't read it because they're boycotting the internet.

Dinner last night:  Leftover meat loaf.

This Date in History - February 5

 

Happy birthday, Laura Linney.  When you were younger, I had a great part for you.  I still have the part available, but you're too old now.

62:  A EARTHQUAKE IN POMPEII, ITALY.

Before or after the volcano?   Either way, it sucks to be in Pompeii.

756:  AN LUSHAN, LEADER OF A REVOLT AGAINST THE TANG DYNASTY, DECLARES HIMSELF EMPEROR AND ESTABLISHES THE STATE OF YAN.

And the second state will be called New Yan.

1631:  ROGER WILLIAMS EMIGRATES TO BOSTON.

This is not the guy who played the piano.

1778:  SOUTH CAROLINA BECOMES THE SECOND STATE TO RATIFY THE ARTICLES OF CONFEDERATION.

So it takes almost 80 more years for this fight to begin?

1783:  IN CALABRIA, A SEQUENCE OF STRONG EARTHQUAKES BEGINS.

Talk to the folks in Pompeii.

1818: JEAN-BAPTISTE BERNADOTTE ASCENDS TO THE THRONES OF SWEDEN AND NORWAY.

That's being a little piggy, if you ask me.

1852:  THE HERMITAGE MUSEUM IN ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA, ONE OF THE LARGEST AND OLDEST MUSEUMS IN THE WORLD, OPENS TO THE PUBLIC.

And schoolchildren in Russia can be bored with the rest of us who had to endure class trips.

1869:  THE LARGEST ALLUVIAL GOLD NUGGET IN HISTORY, IS FOUND IN AUSTRALIA.

Thar's gold in them dere outbacks.

1900:  THE UNITED STATES AND THE UNITED KINGDOM SIGN A TREATY FOR THE PANAMA CANAL.

Over tea and scones, no doubt.

1900:  POLITICIAN ADLAI STEVENSON IS BORN.

And gets hit over the head with a picket sign in Dallas 63 years later.

1903:  BUSINESSWOMAN JOAN WHITNEY PAYSON IS BORN.

Meet the Mets!

1909:  BELGIAN CHEMIST LEO BAEKELAND ANNOUNCES THE CREATION OF BAKELITE, THE WORLD'S FIRST SYNTHETIC PLASTIC.

Like the guy told Dustin Hoffman in the Graduate...."Bakelite."

1917:  THE CONGRESS OF THE US PASSES THE IMMIGRATION ACT OF 1917 OVER PRESIDENT WILSON'S VETO.  IT FORBADE IMMIGRATION FROM NEARLY ALL OF SOUTHERN ASIA.

Can we bring this back please?

1918:  SS TUSCANIA IS TORPEDOED OFF THE COAST OF IRELAND.  IT IS THE FIRST SHIP CARRYING AMERICAN TROOPS TO EUROPE TO BE TORPEDOED.

And not the last.

1919:  CHARLIE CHAPLIN, MARY PICKFORD, DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS, AND DW GRIFFITH LAUNCH UNITED ARTISTS.

Coming soon to a multiplex near you.

1919:  ACTOR RED BUTTONS IS BORN.

Had a birthday, but never a dinner.

1934:  BASEBALL STAR HANK AARON IS BORN.

As far as I am concerned, he still is the only one to break Babe Ruth's HR record.

1937:  PRESIDENT FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT PROPOSES A PLAN TO ENLARGE THE SUPREME COURT OF THE US.

The Supreme Court, to this day, remains one of the biggest jokes in this country.

1939:  GENERALISIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO BECOMES THE 68TH CAUDILLO DE ESPANA OR LEADER OF SPAIN.

Whatever.   He's still dead.

1945:  GENERAL DOUGLAS MACARTHUR RETURNS TO MANILA.

Well, he said he would.

1948:  ACTRESS BARBARA HERSHEY IS BORN.

I'm sure that she endured some jokes in school with that last name.

1962: FRENCH PRESIDENT CHARLES DE GAULLE CALLS FOR ALGERIA TO BE GRANTED INDEPENDENCE.

Show of hands.  Who cares?

1964:  ACTRESS LAURA LINNEY IS BORN.

A talented actress.   Could have used her.  Too late.

1969:  ACTRESS THELMA RITTER DIES.

A talented actress.   Could have used her.   Too late...for her.

1971:  ASTRONAUTS LAND ON THE MOON FOR THE APOLLO 14 MISSION.

Not destined to be a Ron Howard movie.

1972: BOB DOUGLAS BECOMES THE FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN ELECTED TO THE BASKETBALL HALL OF FAME.

I looked him up and an old newspaper clipping referred to him as the "first Negro."  How times have flipped.

 1976:  THE 1976 SWINE FLU OUTBREAK BEGINS AT FORT DIX, NJ.

Oink.

1988:  MANUEL NORIEGA IS INDICTED ON DRUG SMUGGLING AND MONEY LAUNDERING CHARGES.

Plus his penmanship was really bad.

1991:  ACTOR DEAN JAGGER DIES.

General Waverly in White Christmas.

1993:  PRODUCER JOSEPH L. MANKIEWICZ DIES.

All About Death.

1994:  BYRON DE LA BECKWITH IS CONVICTED OF THE 1963 MURDER OF CIVIL RIGHTS LEADER MEDGAR EVERS.

Thirty one years later??   That's one slow jury.

1995:  ACTOR DOUG MCCLURE DIES.

Trampas on TV's The Virginian.

2006:  ACTOR FRANKLIN COVER DIES.

Tom Willis on TV's The Jeffersons.

2007 ACTOR FRED BALL DIES.

Lucy's brother.   Really.

2020:  ACTOR KIRK DOUGLAS DIES.

I was Spartacus.

2021:  ACTOR CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER DIES.

Edelwas.

Dinner last night:   Fried shrimp at Musso and Frank's.

Dead From NY...

 

Except for maybe the legendary "Network" or the Edward R. Murrow flick "Good Night and Good Luck," movies about making TV rarely work.   The two media don't mix well.

In the case of the recently released "Saturday Night," the above adage was never more apropos.  This film, based on the 90 minutes before the Saturday night show premiered in 1975, is a particular mess.  Filmed with a hand held camera, the audience is forced to follow the action to the point of motion sickness.   The frenzy is so ramped up that the moviegoer has little time to focus and/or rest.   If you're going to be exhausted by a film, it should be a good one.

"Saturday Night" by director/writer Jason Reitman is not.

As I wrote, this follows the production ninety minutes before premiere, which, according to the film, was seconds away from being cancelled at the last minute.  The hero of the piece is producer Lorne Michaels and the real guy must be friends with Reitman because he can do no wrong in this film.   Indeed, it's Saint Lorne.

From my perspective, ninety percent of what is depicted in the movie likely never happened.  Did Chevy Chase replace Michaels last minute at the Weekend Update desk?   Did a sofa on stage catch on fire during rehearsal?  Did Johnny Carson call Lorne Michaels and tell him that he would lose the time slot if he fucked up? Did Milton Berle show up and tell everybody how big a dick he had?   

Save for Belushi doing drugs, I doubt any of this happened.   At the same time, we are subjected to bad actors impersonating the SNL (actually it wasn't called that till the 90s).  We also see horrible replicas of host George Carlin, Billy Crystal, and Billy Preston.   And why does the same actor play both Andy Kaufman and Jim Henson???

You have really enough time to consider any of that because you are moved onto the next disaster on show night.   Meanwhile, fifty years later, the show somehow still exists even though it hasn't been funny in decades.   So, likely, this is a worthy tribute to the show.   The show now stinks and so does this movie.

LEN'S RATING:  One-half star.

Dinner last night:  Leftover chicken cacciatore.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - February 3, 2025

 A little delayed on this one.    We still miss the wonderful Bob Newhart.

Dinner last night:  Chicken cacciatore.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - The Beatles Are Here

 

When the calendar turns to February, it always reminds me of this significant moment in history.

As a good friend joked, yes, it is the anniversary of Tessie O'Shea's appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show.  And, oh, yeah, some other guys.

Yes, today we remember again the Beatles' first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show.  An event which my grandmother used to say "ruined America."  But, despite the dour outlook for our nation per Grandma, millions will be remembering this tonight at 8PM.   CBS even is having a special to commemorate it all.  Ed's gone.  

To Hell, according to my grandmother.   And, so too are a couple of the Moptops themselves.

Actually, this all seems like it just happened this morning. As a matter of fact, every Sunday morning in LA, there are at least six different radio stations devoted to “Breakfast with the Beatles.” As much as I like the boys from Liverpool, that’s overkill in any dialect. 

But, I digress…

I first heard about the Beatles several months prior to their virgin appearance with Old Stone Face. It was some sort of family gathering at a relative’s house, and I was undoubtedly bored shitless. My grandmother, ever the last word on proper and neat appearance, was asking my older teenage cousin why his hair had gotten so long.

”It’s the way the Beatles look.”

My grandmother was unimpressed.

”You look like a girl.”

As if to further validate his decision to avoid a barbershop, he quickly pulled out the Beatles’ first 45 RPM single and showed the cover to Grandma.

”They look like girls, too.”

My cousin popped the single onto the record player and we listened to “She Loves You” for the very first time. My cousins grooved to the beat. Everybody else looked like they were listening to Joseph Stalin singing from the Gershwin songbook.

My grandmother waved in indignation.

”Cut your hair.”

When the Beatles hit the Sullivan stage on February 9, 1964, we were watching at another cousin’s house. Grandma was not in the group that evening, so we didn’t have to listen to comparing them to the Lennon Sisters. Especially since I once tried to convince her that John Lennon was their brother. But, we all sat and listened and watched the screaming girls. The kids in the rooms were singing along with amazement. The adults were merely waiting for Frank Gorshin and Georgia Brown to come out.

Another Beatle memory was going to the Loews Mt. Vernon Theater with my friend Leo on the first day and the very first showing of “A Hard Day’s Night.” All the girls in the theater were still screaming and I remember not understanding this because, indeed, this was film, not live. 

Hello?

When the Beatles played Shea Stadium the following summer, I merely worried that the screwballs there wouldn’t mess up the Mets’ infield. 

As fate would have it, we were driving home from a Sunday visit on Long Island. As we drove by, my father lowered the car window. Even though we were probably a mile or so away, we could hear the crowd screaming clear as a bell. He shook his head in silence and rolled up the window. He turned up the volume on the car radio and blared Bert Kaempfert's "Red Roses for a Blue Lady." Clearly, he was done with it all.

And I don't think my cousin ever really did cut his hair.

Dinner last night:  Sausage and peppers sandwich.

Classic TV Commercial of the Month - February 2025

 Inside, it's summertime!

Dinner last night:  Chicken fried rice.