Thursday, June 7, 2007

The World According to Gary

Gary Sheffield is the perfect candidate to play baseball in Japan. Because he could talk and talk and talk. And nobody would understand him. In Japan, you could blame it on the language barrier. When he talks here in the US of A, nobody understands him because he's just plain stupid.

He has banged his gums once again in the current issue of GQ. He talks about the racial problems in Major League Baseball. And focuses in now on the Hispanic baseball player. To paraphrase Sir Gary, MLB prefers players of color that are Latino, primarily because they are easier to control. And this comes at the complete expense of the African-American player.

Whacha talkin' about, Willis?

In one shot, Gary Sheffield essentially spits into the sea that Roberto Clemente crashed into back on New Year's Eve of 1972. Does he really sense that MLB is bending over backwards to accommodate Latino players only as an easy way to foster racial diversification? Is he saying that the Hispanic baseball athlete is really that easily prone to subserviance? Well, off the top of my head, I can throw some tequila on his fuego.

Manny Ramirez? Yeah, he's controllable.

Guillermo Mota? A known headhunter and now steroid user. A virtual choir boy.

Alex Rodriguez? Plenty of talent on the diamond and, apparently, in strip joints and hotel rooms. Plus he's got tons of class, yelling Little League stuff at opposing players like he's auditioning for the next straight-to-DVD sequel of "The Sandlot."

Gary's missed the point...again. There are just as many problem children among Latinos as there are with Whites and African-Americans in Major League Baseball. Perhaps, the sport is indeed gravitating toward Hispanic players because they are better. And because they play with passion. And because the fan base in so many cities is now becoming more and more Latino.

Gary has played the race card so many times that it's frayed at the edges. He could have easily been a member of OJ's legal team. And Gary gets away with it always.

Because he can hit, we always acquit.

The guy has always possessed an amazing talent. He wiggles that bat with such a menace. And his stats have always been superlative. Having semi-enjoyed him for a brief time here in LA, I would argue that many of his home-runs are hit with nobody on base. And that supposed cannon of an arm is a misnomer. Yes, he throws a lot of runners out. But, that's largely because he plays so damn shallow in the outfield. Compared to his outfield assists, there are just as many balls being hit over his head.

But still, he's a bonafide talent. And he delivers. For a while. Because Gary Sheffield wears out his welcome quicker than a crazy uncle with body odor at Thanksgiving dinner. Why would a guy with such enormous baseball gifts be passed around the league like a joint at Woodstock? Look at the stops on his tour. Milwaukee. San Diego. Florida. The Dodgers. Atlanta. The Yankees. Now the Detroit Tigers. You know that, given everything the Motor City has been through, they won't tolerate his nonsensical chatter for long. If he's so darn good, why hasn't anybody kept him long term? Sure, you get that immediate high, but then the Sheffield pill kicks in with all those annoying side effects. And Gary starts talking about the raw deal he keeps getting because he's Black.

Hmmm. How many teams did Willie Mays get shoved through in his career? How many stops did Tony Gwynn make before he retired? Do the math, Gary.

Also, Knucklehead, when you think Major League Baseball has turned its back on you completely, think about your uncle Dwight and whatever jail he is in right now. The multiple opportunities the sport gave him to right himself, in the hopes that he would one day eventually walk a straight line.

In my world, stupidity can be available in all colors.

Dinner last night: Garden Medley Salad with Grilled Chicken at BJ's

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