Wednesday is Sundae at Carvel

It's hot and humid in New York, so I'm a little cranky.

---The picture above must bring back memories. In LA, it is now very chic for movie studios and production companies to order Carvel Ice Cream cakes for wrap parties. They are all clamoring to know how the crunch layer inside is made. Carvel tells them it's a big secret formula.

---I used to work at Carvel. I know what the mystery recipe is. They take the smashed up Flying Saucer crumbs, mix in some chocolate Magic Shell-like sauce, and then they quick freeze it.

---Secret formula revealed. Sue me.

---T-shirt spotted at Dodger Stadium over the weekend. "We Will Never Forget." Underneath a picture of Mister Rogers.

---Huh?

---I thought he died of natural causes. Where was his neighborhood? In Iraq?

---On Sunday, I got to watch the Dodgers' promising rookie James Loney crumple to the warning track in a blue and white heap after slamming into the right field plexiglass scoreboard. He's the third outfielder the Dodgers have lost to injury because they removed the padding from the outfield wall.

---Put the cushions back, fools. There is no need for one more informational assault on our senses. How necessary is it for us to know that Derek Lowe has thrown 73% of his pitches for strikes?

---There was a nifty Father's Day promotion at Chavez Ravine. After the game, you and your son or daughter could go onto the outfield grass and have a good old fashioned catch. The line stretched all the way into the parking lot.

---If you're going to go into Dodger Stadium and play catch, dads, I would suggest you use two hands. Lots of balls being chased all over the place. Clumsy oafs.

---Of course, I'm just jealous that I never got to do the same. My father would never have agreed to such a gimmick. He'd use his pet excuse.

---"What do we want to go there for? It's too crowded."

---He said it so many times to me that it was like a one word sentence.

---"Whatdowanttogothereforit'stoocrowded."

---Geez, I hope he dropped that in the afterlife. "Heaven? What do I want to go there for? It's too crowded."

---Today would have been my dad's 87th birthday. I really hope it's not crowded there.

---In his memory, I would also share with you some other sage advice he would always impart.

---"If a car is more than five years old, drop the collision."

---"Don't buy the last soda from a vendor. Always wait for the fresh tray."

---"Always take your driving lessons in a cemetary. Because you can't kill anybody."

---If I were somebody working for Freemantle Media or Goodson-Todman or whatever they call that company which produces "The Price Is Right," I'd be really pissed at Bob Barker for suggesting that Rosie O'Donnell would be the ideal choice to replace him as host.

---Hey, production company, did you get the license plate of that bus he just threw you under?

---I think Bob has eaten one too many dog biscuits. That fat slob wouldn't get it. She's too egomaniacal to realize that the show is not about the host. It's about the nuts in the studio audience. Plus she's so much fun to work with.

---It's actually time for her to be spayed and neutered.

---There should be a website devoted to retail clerks who have been abused by this tub of lard.

---If they hire Rosie, the staff at the Grove's Barnes and Noble (right next to CBS Television City) should start applying for their gun licenses now.

---Whoa boy, did Rachael Ray get a load of screen time at the Daytime Emmys!

---By the way, she's obviously spending a lot more than 40 dollars a day on food.

---I settle in for my flight east and pull out American's in-flight magazine because they have a really nifty Sudoku puzzle in there

---Except somebody's already messed it up. In pen! And it's wrong!

---Yo, people, just watch the Eye on American shorts and leave the challenging stuff to the smart folks.

---Because of you, inept Suduko solver, I actually had to steal the magazine of the guy next to me when he wasn't looking.

---Everybody's so surprised that LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is getting a divorce.

---Is it your first day on the planet earth? I could have told you that guy was a sleazebucket when he was campaigning. For Pedro's sake, he had two kids out of wedlock in the early 90s!

---What I didn't know is that his last name is a fake. It's a combination of his last name (Villar) and hers (Raigosa). If you're his wife and knew his past track record alleycatting around City Hall, why would you do that???

---The only thing that get this jerk's attention is a flash bulb. He wants to be Governor.

---Yeah, California already has one. Arnold Schwarzeneggerschriver.

---That's probably about 130 points in Scrabble.

---God help the state if he gets in. Except California will have the cleanest pools and nicest mowed lawns in the nation.

---Villaraigosa always has this shifty grin on his face. Like he's got his head propped up on a rake as he watches the homeowner's 15 year-old daughter taking a sunbath at the pool.

---Hey, I'm not saying our political leaders can't have marital problems. But, at what point do we draw the line and tell them to zip it up?

---I hear Big Bill the C is still running around Westchester and violating the personal space of any woman under 30.

---Why do I go to New York anyway? It's so crowded here.

Dinner last night: honey baked ham sandwich and cole slaw.