I’ll write here in generalities to protect the innocent. And me. And my bank account. But, business concerns recently required me to take part in the new and burgeoning American pastime. Downsizing. Reductions in force. Indeed, slice it any way you like it. The bottom line is it’s a mass firing.
I’ve been on the receiving end of this news. As a matter of fact, the time I “got it” a decade or so ago, I was already planning to leave that place and move to the land of palm trees and traffic jams. So, I silently but gleefully took the news and waited to cash the huge severance check which would be my seed money for a new life. So, in reality, I have never gotten axed without an immediate and hopeful plan. Unless, of course, if you want to count the time I got fired from the Carvel Ice Cream corporation for not putting paper in the Xerox machine. But, alas, I digress…
Not knowing what it’s really like to be the receiver, I can only report what it’s like to be the quarterback---the one throwing the pass that will result in a 25 yard loss for some unassuming halfback. I can tell you it’s not easy. I’ve fired people for incompetence or bad behavior. That’s actually fun. But, dispatching someone to days of watching“All My Children” and “Judge Judy” is another sad tale. Your only rationale is that somebody has told you that you have to because there’s a ledger someplace that features more red than Busch Stadium during the World Series. It’s gut wrenching for sure. On both sides of the desk.
I was coached with other people in advance. Don’t use the word “sorry.” Why not? You really are. And, in 2009, the words “elimination” and “downsizing” are all verboten. Nope, today, you are “separated” from your employment. A supersized spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. Let’s face it. You tell a person who has a job that he or she doesn’t have one tomorrow. You’re fired in most languages. When I read “Blondie” in the comic pages every morning, I never hear Mr. Dithers threaten to separate Dagwood from his job. Nope, usually, it's "Bumstead, you're fired!"
I was advised how to react in different situations. If the person gets emotional. If the person is non-responsive. If the person becomes violent. In the event of the latter, I should call someone four states away. By the time they could react, crows would be having a field day with a dead and bloodied carcass.
Yep, two sides to every coin and story. And, even at my age, I learn I can mature a little bit more.
Dinner last night: Short ribs at Melograno.
3 comments:
It's not fun giving someone the pink slip. One time I gave a separation notice to someone who was a professional kick boxer. The young professional competed monthly in Vegas and by his unblemished face appeared to consistently come out on the winning end. Don't believe the prize money was more than enough to pay for his training. There was a lot of real estate and heavy office furniture between the two of us. The speed dial to Security was all set to go. What surprised me was how shocked he was. The company had made a point of doing very "honest" appraisals and his was not good. Despite all the telegraphing leading up to the formal sit down he was stunned. I don't think he heard much else after I handed him the notice and the details of the severance.
15thavebud
And you lived to tell the story. I actually think it's easier being on the receiving end.
I once had to fire a woman I had hired. It was awful despite the fact that the bitch deserved it by badmouthing me in public. I took no joy in throwing someone who needs to work for a living into the street.
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