Swine Wednesday

My grandmother probably would have called it "schwein" flu.

---Here in NY, I actually saw people walking around with face masks, so I guess this disease is for real.

---But, then again, New Yorkers are already stocking up on flu medicine and clearing it off Duane Reade shelves.

---That's sort of like thinking you're going to get arthritis so you amputate your leg ahead of time.

---So how does a prep school in Queens wind up with 28 cases of this illness when it started in a Mexican pig farm?

---George Orwell doesn't look so silly now, does he?

---The news reports here tell you to practice good coughing etiquette.

---Huh? I had no idea this was an issue until I watched people on the train coughing and sneezing on one another with nary a hand to the face.

---Who are the real pigs here??

---When I had my stomach issues over the weekend, I had a few moments where I thought I had Arnold-itis. Turns out it was nothing but sloppy restauranteuring.

---With all the disease floating around, I compounded it by somehow winding up in front of Ground Zero. Lord knows how toxic I am now.

---Excuse me.....hack, hack, hack.

---It's Obama's 100th day in office and I want to know when do we start counting how many days he has left.

---He's going to celebrate by making a primetime press conference. Which Fox won't even air since it's time for American Idol results.

---I'm thinking that, in a competition with Idol finalists Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert, Obama comes in third.

---That fossil, Arlen Specter, is switching parties. From Republican to Democratic. This supposedly makes the Dem votes a lock on most issues.

---Except the guy is 140 years old and still thinks we're better off ignoring Churchill's pleas for help against the Nazis.

---Who elects these old farts over and over and over? And that means you, Massachusetts. The state that hasn't figured out to get that piece of shit, Teddy Kennedy, out of office.

---The once junior senator of Massachusetts will soon be the senior senator of Hell.

---Excuse me. Hack, hack, hack, hack.

---In Manhattan, you can lots o' signs of a bad economy.

---No lines for lunch.

---No wait for tables at restaurants.

---Hookers are honoring discount coupons that have expired.

---No traffic. Which is convenient since most of the streets in Midtown are so torn up with potholes that they're undrivable.

---But, still, you can walk through Times Square and look at all the lighted signs and have laser eye surgery at the same time.

---Another telling sign I have noticed: since the recession, most restaurants don't have after dinner mints for you as you exit.

---Who knew they were that expensive???

---Lots of nifty luxury apartments along the West Side Highway.

---All empty.

---Lots of great seats behind home plate at Yankee Stadium and Citi Field.

---All empty.

---My lungs? Feeling like they're filling up with fluid.

---Hack, hack, hack. I'm headed back to LA.

---I hope.

Dinner last night: Some sliced salami and a salad.