This is one of the last remaining drive-in theaters in Southern California. I actually went to it a few summers back and it reminded me so much of the days when I hopped into my pajamas and the back seat of my dad's Buick. Got to watch the first picture and had to hit the hay as soon as the hot dog stopped jumping into the bun.
While there may not be a similar experience in your world this weekend, it still might be a great time to see a movie. Or maybe not. Let my conscience be your guide. I'll give you the scoop. Thumbing through the movie pages of the Los Angeles Times, I'll give you my knee jerk reaction to what's polluting the screens these days. Just remember to unplug the speaker before you drive off.
Inglourious Basterds: Quentin Tarantino and Brad Pitt. The world's most overrated director and the world's most overrated actor. The trailer looks like a high school production of Stalag 17. Tarantino is the type of guy who would laugh after putting a lit firecracker up a dog's ass. And Brad Pitt doing a German actress sounds like Marlene Dietrich after inhaling helium. I hope this movie dies quickly. By the way, everybody should know this is a remake of a movie nobody saw years ago. Did anybody run the title through Spellcheck? Regardless, I will avoid this movie like a Clorox enema.
The Time Traveler's Wife: It's tough to maintain a healthy marriage when your husband might be cheating on you a whole century earlier. It looks so dreary that I might send a mass card to anybody who sees it.
Ponyo: Disney tries Chinese animation. Say hello to Mickey's dog, Pruto.
Gotta Dance: I saw the trailer of this documentary and I'm intrigued. I had no idea that the New Jersey Nets had a hip hop dance group of senior citizens. With particular emphasis on the "hip."
Shorts: A magical rainbow-colored rock grants a boy's every wish. Skip the money and try the LSD.
District 9: Aliens roam the country. Some of them illegal. Is this a drama or the nightly news?
Julie and Julia: On my list. Now we get to find out what Julia Child was drinking all those years. My mother used to tune in just to see how drunk she seemed each week. Of course, Mom paid no attention to any of the cooking tips that were shared. Unless, of course, it was "roll back the tin foil and place in a pre-heated oven set for 350 degrees."
GI Joe, The Rise of Cobra: Stark confession. I had a GI Joe once. I don't care what anybody says. It was not an action figure. The damn thing did nothing. Meanwhile, you dressed it up in little costumes. It was a doll. A freakin' doll. Barbie's Ken with a NRA membership card. I am ashamed that I played with one. So, I guess that means I won't see the movie.
Funny People: Judd Apotow directs, while Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan are in it. So I suppose that means the title is ironic. I have been told that this movie is about five hours long and is dreadful. And that's from folks who are fans of these three numbskulls.
Earth Days: How ecology started in this country. Intertwining the birth of Al Gore and the invention of the garbage bag. Which really is the same thing.
The Hurt Locker: A terrific film about three guys who defuse bombs in Iraq. Maybe they can move their operation stateside and start work on films like "Funny People."
Whatever Works: Woody Allen directs Larry David in a comedy. As ominous a thought as that sounds, the movie is decent. One of the Woodman's more clever comedies in the past five years.
The Ugly Truth: Katherine Heigl is well known in Hollywood as being the biggest bitch on two legs. That is the real ugly truth.
Bandslam: I've heard good things about this realistic snapshot of a high school musical. In this one, the kids are actually musicians. Perish the thought.
X-Games 3D: Crappy television easily transistioning to crappy cinema. Except you get to wear glasses that give you a headache. My One and Only: Renee Zellweger in what is described as a madcap family comedy. I'm always confused by the extreme polarizing effect she has on movie audiences. Some people love, love, love her. Others hate, hate, hate her. She's nothing more than a walking, talking Universal Health Care proposal. Casi Divas: The Real Housewives of Mexico City. How to look elegant while living in a mudhut. The Goods: Ads tell me this is "from the guys behind Talladega Nights and Step Brothers." Thank you for the warning. I'll stay home. G-Force: Disney's computerized rodents. Virtual vermin. A movie whose audience is restricted solely to 5 year-old children and/or slumlords. Post Grad: It's Alexis Bledel's latest comedy! Again, I thank you for the warning. (500) Days of Summer: I told you weeks ago that this was the best film of the summer. Which, by the way, is only 123 days long. Highly recommended by moi and you know that doesn't happen often. Adam: Some guy with mental problems gets a girlfriend. So, what's wrong with me???? House of Numbers: A documentary that debunks the myths of HIV/AIDS. So, can I assume that the liberals will now stop telling us that this disease was brought in the United States by Barbara Bush? Cold Souls: It's Paul Giamatti's latest comedy! Now, if we can only get him to team up with Alexis Bledel and/or the guys behind Talladega Nights and Step Brothers. Beeswax: A movie all about teen angst. Which essentially turns into adult angst. I speak from experience. Paper Heart: A pseudo-documentary about teen angst. Which essentially turns into pseudo-adult angst. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Still hanging around and it's now official. I have successfully missed another installment in this series. Does it end eventually? Or will we seeing "Harry Potter and the Blue-Haired Canasta Princess of the Nursing Home Down the Lane?"
Dinner last night: Hawaiian turkey burger at Islands.
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