Will I explain why there is a picture of Groucho Marx' TV announcer George Fenneman? You bet your life.
1520: DANISH KING CHRISTIAN II EXECUTES DOZENS OF PEOPLE IN THE STOCKHOLM BLOODBATH AFTER A SUCCESSFUL INVASION OF SWEDEN.
Who the hell invades Sweden? What did they ever do to anybody?
1619: RENE DESCARTES HAS THE DREAMS THAT INSPIRE HIS 'MEDITATIONS ON FIRST PHILOSOPHY."
If I had dreams like that, I'd probably sleep right through them.
1775: THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS IS FOUNDED IS FOUNDED AT TUN TAVERN IN PHILADELPHIA BY SAMUEL NICHOLAS.
It figures they were started by some drunk. Had this not mattered, Jim Nabors wouldn't have had a TV series for five seasons.
1793: A GODDESS OF REASON IS PROCLAIMED BY THE FRENCH CONVENTION AT THE SUGGESTION OF CHAUMETTE.
Despite what you may be thinking, it was not Oprah. And wasn't Chaumette the inventor of the paper plate?
1865: MAJOR HENRY WIRZ, THE SUPERINTENDENT OF A PRISON CAMP IN ANDERSONVILLE, GEORGIA, IS HANGED, BECOMING THE ONLY AMERICAN CIVIL WAR SOLDIER EXECUTED FOR WAR CRIMES.
Given how many people died in this war, the fact that there was only one war criminal is pretty amazing.
1871: HENRY MORTON STANLEY LOCATES MISSING EXPLORER AND MISSIONARY DR. DAVID LIVINGSTONE NEAR LAKE TANGANYIKA, ALLEGEDLY GREETING HIM WITH THE WORDS " DR. LIVINGSTONE, I PRESUME?"
Does anybody wonder if Dr. Livingstone actually wanted to be found? These days, he might simply amp up his privacy settings on Facebook.
1871: WINSTON CHURCHILL IS BORN.
And he's very happy to learn of the discovery of Dr. Livingstone earlier in the day.
1898: THIS MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE WILMINGTON INSURRECTION OF 1898, THE ONLY ISNTANCE OF A MUNICIPAL GOVERNMENT BEING OVERTHROWN IN US HISTORY.
Too bad, because I have a list of some other cities that need to be toppled.
1919: THE FIRST NATIONAL CONVENTION OF THE AMERICAN LEGION IS HELD IN MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA.
At the very first American Legion hall. Well known for kegs of beers and heaping mounds of cole slaw served on Chaumette, I mean, Chinette plates.
1919: TV ANNOUNCER GEORGE FENNEMAN IS BORN.
His father was not available as he was attending the first national convention of the American Legion.
1923: WORLD FAMOUS DOG HACHIKO IS BORN.
So world famous that I don't know who the fuck Hachiko is.
1925: ACTOR RICHARD BURTON IS BORN.
And immediately started a bar tab.
1932: ACTOR ROY SCHEIDER IS BORN.
And immediately went to look for a bigger boat.
1951: DIRECT DIAL COAST-TO-COAST TELEVISION SERVICE BEGINS IN THE UNITED STATES.
And now the William Morris Office in Beverly Hills must develop all new reasons for avoiding their New York-based clients.
1959: ACTRESS MACKENZIE PHILLIPS IS BORN.
Taking it one day at a time.
1969: SESAME STREET DEBUTS.
Providing a great way to get a bunch of Muppets off the unemployment lines.
1975: THE FREIGHTER SS EDMUND FITZGERALD SINKS DURING A STORM ON LAKE SUPERIOR.
And, after that, we got stuck with that dreadful song from Gordon Lightfoot.
1992: ACTOR CHUCK CONNORS DIES.
Aw, he wasn't so tough.
2006: ACTOR JACK PALANCE DIES.
And neither was he.
Dinner last night: Crispy spicy beef at the Cheesecake Factory.
And tomorrow? From the other coast.
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