Thursday, May 5, 2011

Moron of the Month - May 2011

Sometimes it takes a while each month for the true Moron to emerge.  This time around, it's the fifth of May and we already have our winner.

This is Pittsburgh Steeler running back Rashard Mendenhall and he's about as stupid as they come.

Okay, to say that a player in the NFL is a moron is something akin to saying fire is hot and water is wet.  Probably 85% of the idiots who play pro football (and pro basketball, for that matter) are neanderthals who have inexplicably been rushed through major college and universities simply because they are either tall or huge or both.  College graduates who likely never cracked the spine of a book in four years.  The only course they might even give a single second of attention to is math.  And, specifically, the addition part that includes dollar signs. 

So, why single out this particular chucklehead?  Well, for some inexplicable reason, Mendenhall has a need to share what he thinks via Twitter.  Apparently, like an asteroid that appears once a century, Mendenhall was able to put two thoughts together and form an opinion.  Stop the presses.  Rashard Mendenhall has something to say! 

Right after it was announced the other day that Osama bin Laden now sleeps with the fishes like Big Pussy on the Sopranos, Mendenhall started to type.  Well, okay, perhaps we should be impressed he can even do that.  But, what this jerk had to say was unfathomable.  Watching the Americans whoop it up at the news of Osama's newly acquired hole in the head, Mendenhall tweeted...

“What kind of person celebrates death?” 

Oh, really? 

“It’s amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We’ve only heard one side.”

Oh, really?  Again?  We've never heard Osama speak?  My God, he's produced enough taped messages to fill NBC's primetime schedule every Monday night.

Already exposed as a complete dumbbell, Mendenhall couldn't contain himself.    All of a sudden, he's an expert on 9/11.

“We’ll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style.”

Another genius and one that is likely paid millions of bucks a year to delight us with his gridiron antics.

Okay, yes, we did see Americans celebrating the death of bin Laden.  Partying in the streets outside the White House.  Is that a little bit unsettling?  Maybe.  But, come on, folks.  Do you remember 9/11?  Do you recall the images of Middle Eastern folks knocking themselves silly with joy when the Twin Towers fell?  Did you see any of that, Mr. Mendenhall?  And, please don't tell me that you didn't because you were in class.

The absolutely kooky assertions that continue to arise regarding what happened to those buildings on that fateful day totally mystify me.  All of a sudden, some slob who runs around with a football is an expert in demolition.  And history. 

As clueless as they come, Mendenhall is another one of those celebrities who thinks that his own limited talent is license to speak out on anything and everything.  And, in a country which he apparently doesn't particularly like, Rashard Mendenhall is no doubt collecting a lot of its currency in a bank account.  Hate the country, love its coin.  The insulting double standard we see time and time again.

Now, I'm torn.  I've been watching the possibility of a NFL lockout next season and I'm hoping that they get to cancel pro football next fall, just to watch all the fans panic at the thought of actually having to read a book to pass their idle time.  But, if down time is going to drive jackasses like Rashard Mendenhall to their Black Berrys, maybe a lockout isn't such a good thing.  We're liable to hear his opinions on other turning points in American history. 

Maybe Pearl Harbor was faked. 

Perhaps there are still states in the union where slavery is legal. 

Heck, it could be true.  John F. Kennedy is still alive in a vegetative state and residing on a yacht off the southern coast of France.

Okay, it's official.  I'm in.  Let's get this labor problem settled so we can play some football!

Dinner last night:  Barbecue pork sandwich at Pink Taco.

And tomorrow?  Me and the Dodgers are headed to New York.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Why can't we take away Blackberries and computers from shitheads like Rashard? And how did Rashard's momma come up with that name?

Why would a jock who was handed passing grades just because the football team needed him think he should comment on anyhting except football?

Shut up, Rashard. Throw the ball. Catch the ball. Chase white girls. But shut up.