Friday, August 19, 2016

Your Weekend Movie Guide for August 2016

I'm not sure but this might have been one of the last Christmas shows at Radio City Music Hall.   It comes to mind today since I am seeing ads all around town for the new release of "Pete's Dragon," which Disney has rebooted.   Now, I never saw the original but I'm sure it was perfectly good entertainment.   And I am equally sure that the new one is probably a CGI-laden mess.  

But, of course, this is Hollywood where there hasn't been an original idea since...well...probably when "Pete's Dragon" was the Christmas show in 1977.

You know the drill, gang.   I will sift through the movie pages of the Los Angeles Times and give you my knee-jerk gut reaction to what's polluting our multiplexes this weekend.   And one of those films just happens to be...

Pete's Dragon:  Reviews were decent.   Never a good sign.

Ben-Hur:   It is sheer blasphemy to remake a movie that originally won 11 Oscars.   But this is Hollywood where the only original thought is to make the same film twice.   Allegedly, there is even more Jesus in this one.  But, it also includes Morgan Freeman who is the most overrated and overused actor working today.   This is going to be full of annoying CGI.   And, while the original was over three hours long, this one clocks in at two hours.   Hmmm....

Sausage Party:   You would think I would see this cartoon.   I prefer mine grilled and not on the screen.

Nine Lives:   Kevin Spacey morphs into a cat.   House of Kibbles.

Hell or High Water:   Again, I hear good things from critics.   So, probably not.

Ghostbusters;  Reviewed here recently.  Just plain awful.   Leslie Jones should be banned from working ever again.

Suicide Squad:   I prefer my comic books read, not seen.  And, heck, I don't even do that.

The Little Prince:   I read this for tenth-grade French class and I was done with this nonsense even then.

Finding Dory:  Still missing as far as I'm concerned.

Absolutely Fabulous - The Movie:   What must they look like now years after the TV series ended?   

Florence Foster Jenkins:   Good friends told me this sucked.   I save fifteen bucks.   That's why they're good friends.

Cafe Society:  Blog review coming, but here's a sneak...check the film out before it disappears.

Don't Think Twice:   Critics say this is a laugh riot.   So, I'm thinking...crickets.

Gleason:   The NFL player with ALS, not the Honeymooner.   Oh, well.   Never mind.

Indignation:   Blog review coming.   And it still doesn't explain the title.

Jason Bourne:   Still...   Get it?

The Secret Life of Pets:  What they do when you're not home.   Do we really want to know?

Little Men:  Two small boys in the middle of feuding families.   Didn't this become the central plot line of TV's Dallas?

Ice Age - Collision Course:  This franchise melted for me two trays ago.

Hillary's America:  Another documentary from Dinesh D'Souza, which means conservatives will love and liberals will hate it.   And I'm thinking the real story is somewhere in the middle.

Joshy:  A wild bachelor party in Ojai.  Yep, that's all it says.

The BFG:   There's probably some theater playing this ultra-bomb from Spielberg, but I doubt it.

Bad Moms:  I hear mothers are flocking to see this.   Maybe they want to make sure they're not in it.

Anthropoid:  We revisit one more time Hitler and the Third Reich.  Maybe we need tips on how to stop ISIS.

Spaceman:   A movie about that crazy baseball pitcher Bill Lee.   What time does it start?

No Asylum - The Untold Chapter of Anne Frank's Story:   Don't tell me she did finish that diary??!!

The People Vs. Fritz Bauer:  Any relation to Jack?

Never:  Okay, I won't.

War Dogs:   Middle Eastern intrigue meets the comedy stylings of Jonah Hill and Miles Teller.   If we're depending upon these two schmucks to win the war, I'm going out to buy my camel right now.

A Tale of Love and Darkness:  The Bill and Hillary Clinton story?

Billionaire Ransom:  If somebody has kidnapped Donald Trump, let's not take up a collection.

Disorder:  Could be the word used for any movie really.

Kingsglaive - Final Fantasy XV:  Anybody?

Star Trek Beyond:  Just reviewed here.   Scroll back to Tuesday for the grim details.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople:  Hunting in New Zealand.  I got nothing.

Dinner last night:  Bacon wrapped filet and salad.

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