Your Black Friday Holiday Shopping Guide for 2016

If you're out in the malls today, you are no friend of mine.  Why would anybody subject themselves to this kind of treatment?

So, let me help you stay at home.   Here are some nifty holiday gift ideas that you can purchase on-line.   Isn't this much easier?

 Wouldn't it be easier to pay the freakin' heating bill?

 How lazy can you be?

 For those can't bend over...ever.

 Remove fish before re-wearing.

 Oh, good.  Another reason for her not to get out of bed.

 If yours have skid marks on them, I may beg to ask a follow-up question.

 For those of you who lost an annoying uncle this past year...

 Well, that's cheery.

Nothing like sodium nitrate in a gift box.

 Life vests sold separately.

 This better be marked down.

For you single gals over the age of 70.

 Insert your favorite Donald Trump joke here.

Insert your second favorite Donald Trump joke here.

Operating instructions by Bill Clinton.

Dinner last night:  The usual Thanksgiving dinner menu.