And the Oscar for the Dumbest Looking Dress ever goes to Big Mouth Babs when she won for "Funny Girl" almost fifty years ago. In 2017, the only way she could slither into this thing is with a tub of butter. That is, unless she eats it first.
It's Day 2 of your winning Oscar ballot. As I wrote yesterday, I'm not playing in a pool this year. Blame Donald Trump. But I wanted you to have my picks so you can win like I probably would have this year. Today I am focusing on the big categories. Woot woot. If you remember, yesterday's predictions wound up with La La Land getting seven Oscars. Will there be more?
BEST DIRECTOR: Of course there will be. I mean, the guy is so super clever in the story he laid out. There's no denying DAMIEN CHAZELLE FOR LA LA LAND. Oscar #8.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Oddly enough, one actress nominated here is in the wrong category. Let's face it. They knew she had no chance for Best Actress with Emma Stone tap dancing her way around Mulholland Drive. Plus VIOLA DAVIS is really the only reason to see FENCES.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: As much as I liked the work of the always reliable Jeff Bridges in Hell Or High Water or the young Lucas Hedges in Manchester, MAHERSHALA ALI has been taken about for this Oscar ever since MOONLIGHT opened. A very good performance that will be boosted by the fact that there were all those pickets at last year's Academy Awards.
BEST ACTRESS: How the hell did Meryl Streep get into this category for that dreadful piece of crap, Florence Foster Jenkins? Plus Amy Adams was left out despite being the best thing in that otherwise dull Arrival. I mean, do they have to nominate Streep every year?? They're liable to honor the year she gives an order at McDonald's drive-through. It's all a moot point because, despite the fact that she really can't sing or dance, EMMA STONE was the star of LA LA LAND. Her audition scene at the end of the movie helped her to nail this Oscar. Oscar #9.
BEST ACTOR: I got into an interesting discussion about Denzel Washington recently. Okay, admittedly, I know way too much about him personally and I have a distinct bias against this guy who is a bad, bad man. A friend argued that, whether I like him or not, he's a brilliant actor. I countered that he used to be when he was younger. But, over the past ten years, I contend that Denzel has gotten very lazy with his acting choices. Everything is starting to come out the same way. And, in this current performance, I will also argue that the despicable character is really an extension of Denzel himself. Yeah, sadly, Casey Affleck, the winner will be an incredibly hammy DENZEL WASHINGTON for his overrated vanity project FENCES. The real reason he will win? The Academy doesn't want to see Al Sharpton walking around with a placard on Hollywood Boulevard.
BEST PICTURE: While there are other nominees I did enjoy (I'm thinking of you, Manchester and Moonlight and Hell Or High Water and Hidden Figures), LA LA LAND gave me my most enjoyable time in the theater the past five years. And there it is. Double digits. Oscar #10.
Let me know how you did. And please pass the Doritos.
Dinner last night: French toast and bacon.