AD 23: REBELS CAPTURE AND SACK THE CHINESE CAPITAL CHANG'AN DURING A PEASANT REBELLION. THEY KILL AND DECAPITATE THE EMPEROR WANG MANG.
He must have done them Wang.
610: HERACLIUS ARRIVES BY SHIP FROM AFRICA TO OVERTHROW BYZANTINE EMPEROR PHOCAS.
Of course, it was by ship. There was no Uber yet.
1226: FRANCIS OF ASSISI DIES.
He was no saint...yet.
1535: THE FIRST COMPLETE ENGLISH-LANGUAGE BIBLE IS PRINTED.
Whatever the language, it's still the Old Testament and the New Testament.
1582: POPE GREGORY XIII IMPLEMENTS THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR. IN ITALY, POLAND, PORTUGAL, AND SPAIN, OCTOBER 4 IS FOLLOWED DIRECTLY BY OCTOBER 15.
Sucks for people born on those dates before 1582. How do they celebrate their birthdays?
1693: PIEDMONTESE TROOPS ARE DEFEATED BY THE FRENCH.
Piedmontese? Like that town in Rockland County, NY??
1777: IN THE BATTLE OF GERMANTOWN, TROOPS UNDER GEORGE WASHINGTON ARE REPELLED BY BRITISH TROOPS.
Enjoy the victory while you can, England.
1795: NAPOLEON BONAPARTE FIRST RISES TO NATIONAL PROMINENCE BY SUPPRESSING RIOTERS THREATENING THE NATIONAL CONVENTION.
With one arm in his coat.
1824: MEXICO ADOPTS A NEW CONSTITUTION AND BECOMES A FEDERAL REPUBLIC.
And yet they still come over our borders.
1876: TEXAS AM UNIVERSITY OPENS AS THE AGRICULTURAL AND MECHANICAL COLLEGE OF TEXAS, BECOMING THE FIRST PUBLIC INSTITUTION OF HIGHER EDUCATION IN TEXAS.
Well, they'll have to find another school if they want to play football.
1880: WRITER DAMON RUNYON IS BORN.
Drinks on the house!
1883: FIRST RUN OF THE ORIENT EXPRESS.
That had to be murder.
1895: THE FIRST US OPEN MEN'S GOLF CHAMPIONSHIP IS PLAYED IN RHODE ISLAND.
Shhhh, he's trying to putt.
1895: ACTOR BUSTER KEATON IS BORN.
Actor...and genius.
1916: COMIC JAN MURRAY IS BORN.
My grandmother liked him for some reason unbeknownst to me.
1916: DIRECTOR GEORGE SIDNEY IS BORN.
He's the one who cast Ann-Margret for "Bye Bye Birdie." National holiday!!!
1918: AN EXPLOSION KILLS MORE THAN 100 AT THE TA GILLESPIE COMPANY SHELL LOADING PLANT IN SAYREVILLE, NEW JERSEY.
Say that five times fast.
1927: GUTZON BORGIUM SCULPTING MOUNT RUSHMORE.
Alfred Hitchcock will be very appreciative.
1946: ACTRESS SUSAN SARANDON IS BORN.
You just know that, when she and Tim Robbins were living together, there was a lot of hitting.
1957: SPUTNIK I IS THE FIRST ARTIFICIAL SATELLITE TO ORBIT THE EARTH.
Da, we see you.
1960: EASTERN AIR LINES FLIGHT 375 CRASHES AFTER A BIRD STRIKE ON TAKEOFF IN BOSTON.
Where is Sully when you need him?
1965: POPE PAUL VI ARRIVES IN NEW YORK CITY, THE FIRST POPE TO VISIT THE AMERICAS.
"Can somebody get him tickets to Hello Dolly?"
1970: ROCK STAR JANIS JOPLIN DIES.
Overdose. Surprise.
1975: NEW YORK METS OWNER JOAN WHITNEY PAYSON DIES.
The Mets medical staff still lists her as day-to-day.
1985: THE FREE SOFTWARE FOUNDATION IS FOUNDED IN MASSACHUSETTS.
Sure, it's free. Until it starts messing with your operating system.
1993: IN MOSCOW, TANKS BOMBARD THE GOVERNMENT BUILDING THAT HOUSES THEIR PARLIAMENT AS DEMONSTRATORS AGAINST PRESIDENT BORIS YELTSIN RALLY OUTSIDE.
Boris, have you seen Natasha?
2004: ASTRONAUT GORDON COOPER DIES.
So he's up there again, just not orbiting.
2006: WIKILEAKS IS LAUNCHED BY JULIAN ASSANGE.
You may have heard about this.
Dinner last night: Leftover turkey chili.
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