Monday Morning Video Laugh - September 30, 2019

Maxine is always good for a laugh.   Dumbbell.

Dinner last night:  Leftover sausage, peppers, and onions.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - 9/24/69

Last Tuesday was the fiftieth anniversary of this glorious moment.  For me, this was more important than the moon landing.

My baseball team had landed.

I remember then-Mets announcer Lindsey Nelson clocking the moment.  

At 9:07 on September 24.

The other night, I was sitting in my LA home on the computer.   The little digital clock in the corner read 6:06PM.  For some mystical reason, I called a good friend in NY.   We didn't know each other fifty years ago.  We wish we had.  But, despite that, we were bonded by this moment.   

He picked up the phone.  He knew.  As the clock ticked a minute later.

"It's 9:07 on September 24."

Yep.   We shared the euphoria one more time.

Back in 1969, this was the date and time where my Mets had clinched the Eastern Division of the National League after seven years of languishing at the bottom ranks of baseball.   An amazing summer had them going to the playoffs for the first time ever.

I remember the day as cloudy and crisp.   The Mets' magic number to clinch was one.  They were playing a night game vs. the Cardinals and it was their last home game for the season.   It's all I could think about in school that day.  I planned my every moment of the day around the game that night.

It was a rare evening where I was actually ceded control of the color television set in the living room.  Usually, my video nonsense was confirmed to the black and white portable in my room.  But I think even my mother understood what this was all about.  My dad worked nights.  I wished he had been home.

It was over fast.  In two hours and two minutes.  These days, baseball games are usually only in the fifth inning at the two hour mark.  There were 55,000 fans jammed into Shea Stadium on a Wednesday night.  I consider myself lucky that I was in front of the Zenith color console.

It was a shutout and the Mets hit a bunch of home runs.  In the Cardinal line-up on that night was future Mets announcer Tim McCarver.  The game ended on a double play hit by future Mets manager Joe Torre.  Lindsey Nelson gave us the time and then the onslaught of fans quickly saturated the playing surface.   

There was joy.  There was mayhem.  There was me...finally with something to brag about to all my Yankee buddies in the neighborhood.

I remember watching the clubhouse celebrity and it was an out-of-body experience for this youngster.   I could think of little else.   Oddly enough, I didn't have a lot of Met fan friends that I could call on the phone and share the moment with.   The only one handy was my mom.

"That's really nice."

It would have to do.

Which is why I called my pal last Tuesday night.   He's an only child, too, and grew up in the Bronx with not a lot of Met fans around.  We reveled in the moment that had transformed our lives fifty years early.  If only we had shared it together.

Fifty years later, it was just as sweet as the clock made that inevitable move forward.  Click.

It was 9:07PM.   On September 24.

Dinner last night:  Sausage, peppers, and onions.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - September 2019

Premiered sixty years ago this month.  Great movie with an even more clever trailer.

Dinner last night:  A rarity....bacon cheeseburger from McDonald's.

It's Time For The Annual School Picture

 Naturally inquisitive?  Or too close to the electric socket?

 Never get your haircut at the School of the Blind.

 This girl needs five hours to get ready for school each day.

 Yes, there is something called detention.

 You could land a plane on that part in her hair.

 Maxine Waters, is that you?

 Find anything?

 Her homage to the late Valerie Harper as Rhoda.

 Over moussed.

 Hannibal Lechter had a child??

 Her dentist also sold used cars.

Punch him, please.

Dinner last night:  Caesar salad.

Len's Recipe of the Month - September 2019

How timely.  A chef friend of mine forwarded this recipe to me and I couldn't wait to try it.   It's called a Downton Abbey cake and it's similar to something the Crawley family would have over tea.   Or, supposedly, a shot of Madeira wine.   Despite lacking the latter, I pressed on anyway.   You will enjoy it.

Here's what you need:

A 8 1/2 x 4 1/2 inch loaf pan.

3/4 cup of sugar plus a little more for the pan.

1 cup of flour.

Zest from one large lemon.

1/2 teaspoon baking powder.

3 large eggs at room temperature.

8 tablespoons or 1 stick of unsalted butter, melted and then cooled.

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees with the rack in the middle.

Grease the pain and also coat it with a little sugar.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, lemon zest, and baking powder.

In a stand mixer, beat the eggs on medium-high for about 3 to 5 minutes.   It will be thick and pale yellow.

Gradually beat in the sugar and then do the same with the melted butter and vanilla.

Carefully fold in the flour mixture.   Do not beat this.   Fold with kindness.  

Pour into the loaf pan.  Sprinkle a little sugar on top.   This will crisp up.

Bake for 35 minutes or until golden brown.

Let cool on a wire rack for about ten minutes and then remove from the pan for further cooling.

Say hello to the Countess Dowager for me.

Dinner last night:  General Chang's Chicken from PF Chang's.

This Date in History - September 25

Happy birthday, Mark Hamill.  May the Force be with you.

275:  IN ROME, AFTER THE ASSASSINATION OF AURELIAN, THE SENATE PROCLAIMS MARCUS CLAUDIUS TACITUS EMPEROR.

After reading about these ruler changes in Rome week in and week out, I'm beginning to think they have the right idea.

1513:  SPANISH EXPLORER VASCO DE BALBOA REACHES WHAT WOULD BECOME KNOWN AS THE PACIFIC OCEAN.

Hence the beach and the boulevard.

1690:  PUBLICK OCCURRENCES, THE FIRST NEWSPAPER TO APPEAR IN THE AMERICAS, IS PUBLISHED FOR THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME.

Maybe it would have lasted longer if somebody had bothered to run the title through spell check.

1775:  ETHAN ALLEN SURRENDERS TO BRITISH FORCES AFTER ATTEMPTING TO CAPTURE MONTREAL.

And re-design their living rooms.

1789:  THE US CONGRESS PASSES TWELVE AMENDMENTS TO THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION.

Back in the days where the Constitution was changed according to the country's bylaws.  It's not like that anymore.

1846:  US FORCES LED BY ZACHARY TAYLOR CAPTURE THE MEXICAN CITY OF MONTERREY.

Visiting soldiers, please don't drink the water.

1849:  COMPOSER JOHANN STRAUSS DIES.

Leaving Mr. Levi to sew up those pants all by himself.

1890:  THE US CONGRESS ESTABLISHES SEQUOIA NATIONAL PARK.

Solely for those folks who like trees.

1911:  GROUND IS BROKEN FOR FENWAY PARK IN BOSTON.

And, for years, the Boston Red Sox were also broken.

1912:  COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY GRADUATE SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM IS FOUNDED IN NEW YORK CITY.

Back when we actually had journalists.

1915:  DURING WORLD WAR I, THE SECOND BATTLE OF CHAMPAGNE BEGINS.

Or as Curly would say, "champagknee."

1917:  BASEBALL STAR PHIL RIZZUTO IS BORN.

Holy cow!

1917:  BASEBALL STAR JOHNNY SAIN IS BORN.

Move over, Scooter.

1929:  JIMMY DOOLITTLE PERFORMS THE FIRST BLIND FLIGHT FROM MITCHEL FIELD PROVING THAT FULL INSTRUMENT FLYING FROM TAKEOFF TO LANDING IS POSSIBLE.

Tell that to John Kennedy Jr..

1929:  BROADCASTER BARBARA WALTERS IS BORN.

Now 84.  And she looks every day of it.

1944:  ACTOR MICHAEL DOUGLAS IS BORN.

I'm Spartacus Junior.

1951:  ACTOR MARK HAMILL IS BORN.

Now that I've mentioned Star Wars in this blog, I'll get lots of Google hits.

1957:  CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL IN LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS IS INTEGRATED BY THE USE OF US ARMY TROOPS.

Well, that's one way.

1960:  AUTHOR EMILY POST DIES.

The coffin goes on the right, next to the spoon.

1969:  THE CHARTER ESTABLISHING THE ORGANIZATION OF ISLAMIC COOPERATION IS SIGNED.

Now that's funny!!

1974:  THE FIRST ULNAR COLLATERAL LIGAMENT REPLACEMENT SURGERY IS PERFORMED ON BASEBALL PLAYER TOMMY JOHN.  THIS BECOMES WHAT IS NOW KNOWN AS TOMMY JOHN SURGERY.

Gee, how did they think of that??

1977:  ABOUT 4,200 PEOPLE TAKE PART IN THE FIRST RUNNING OF THE CHICAGO MARATHON.

If you're on the south side of Chicago, you're not running.  You're probably being chased.

1981:  BELIZE JOINS THE UNITED NATIONS.

Because what would a Wednesday be without one of these admissions??

1984:  ACTOR WALTER PIDGEON DIES.

Flown the coop.

1987:  ACTRESS MARY ASTOR DIES.

The Maltese Falcon!!!!

1988:  BUSINESSMAN BILLY CARTER DIES.

Drunker brother to the President.  An embarrassment of an embarassment.

1991:  GERMAN SS CAPTAIN KLAUS BARBIE DIES.

Oh, my God.  Please notify Captain Ken and Lieutenant Skipper.

1992:  NASA LAUNCHES THE MARS OBSERVER IN THE FIRST MISSION TO THAT PLANET.

Technical advisor: Ray Walston.

2003:  AUTHOR GEORGE PLIMPTON DIES.

Paper Corpse.

2005:  ACTOR DON ADAMS DIES.

Would you believe....?

2012:  SINGER ANDY WILLIAMS DIES.

Please cancel Christmas.

2016:  GOLFER ARNOLD PALMER DIES.

Have a glass of ice tea mixed with lemonade.

2018:  BILL COSBY IS SENTENCED TO THREE-TEN YEARS IN PRISON.

Wait till he discovers what shower stall Fat Albert is in.

Dinner last night:  Chinese chicken salad.

This Is My Avengers

or Wonder Woman or Harry Potter or whatever else film franchise the millennial geeks run out to see as soon as the movie opens.   This is a movie event for people who understand story, character, and decent entertainment.

I went the second night "Downton Abbey" opened as a movie and I'm shocked I waited that long.  As soon as the first teaser ran in theaters last December, this September weekend was taken on my Outlook calendar.

For six seasons on PBS, I relished every single episode of the total 52 installments.  Indeed, over that time, I so enjoyed the characters (and the actors) that I felt each and every plot point...both good and bad...that they went through.   It was the best story telling that I had enjoyed on television since...gasp..."Knots Landing."    Yes, I mentioned those two shows in the same breath.   Only true ardent fans of both will get that comparison.   Think about it.   Lady Edith...Valene Ewing.  Interchangeable.

But I digress...

When news broke about a possible "Downton Abbey" big screen edition, I was simultaneously elated and skeptical.   After all, it is possible to kill a creative golden goose.   I wondered if creator Julian Fellowes could pull it off.

I went with a passel of friends to a long ago sold-out showing at the Arclight in Hollywood.   As soon as the film began and the theme music swelled up in such a welcome crescendo, the audience applauded.   We were home.   And, before long, we could tell the Fellowes and company were pulling it off.

The movie is two hours long...really nothing more than two episodes of the TV show.  But, as it unfolded, I realized that I could sit there for five or six hours and not get tired.  This "Downton Abbey" was that good.

I will give away no spoilers, except for what the trailer has told us for months. The Crawley family (and their ever loyal servant staff) will be visited by the King and Queen of England circa 1927.  That's it.   As a result, a myriad of stories unfold that allow each member of the large cast to have their moment in the sun.  

Yes, Maggie Smith gets more than her share of one-liners.  The aforementioned Lady Edith gets dumped on a bit.   Lady Mary and her lady maid Anna bond as always.  Mrs. Patmore, the cook, gets into more than one snit.  Everyone has that one scene that reminds you how much you like that character.  For me, I've always been amazed by the complexity of former chauffeur Tom Branson and actor Allen Leech gets to shine especially in the movie.   And since I'm a guy, I never ever look away when Michelle Dockery is on camera.

I have no idea what the budget was for the TV show but they certainly kicked it up for the film, complete with intricate drone photography of the castle itself. For some reason, the sets look more sumptuous.  The music sounds more lush than ever before.   Indeed, "Downton Abbey" is made for the big screen.   And the ending leaves us room for much more plot.

So, hopefully, there will be another sequel.   Is November too soon to expect that?

I'll be ready.

LEN'S RATING:  FOUR STARS!!!

Dinner last night:  Grilled bratwurst

Monday Morning Video Laugh - September 23, 2019

An extremely rare SNL sketch...meaning it's actually funny.

Dinner last night:  Grilled bratwurst.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - That Theater on Stevens Avenue

Whenever I go to New York, there's always one day where I am socializing with my best friend from high school.   And he happens to still live in my home town of Mount Vernon, New York.  

Sadly, that requires me to actually go to Mount Vernon to pick him up.   If you know what Mount Vernon is like these days, you know that's sheer torture.  

But I always use these opportunities to drive through some part of town and remember something fondly.   Something that is inevitably not there anymore.

Such as the Loews Mount Vernon movie theater on Stevens Avenue.   That's the back of it in the photo above.   It doesn't look like much, but what a palace it was.  Here's an older photo that sort of captures the grandeur.

This cinema cathedral was the site of my first ever moviegoing experience. My mom took me to the first afternoon showing of "Tom Thumb." Unfortunately, we didn't get far into the movie. I was totally frightened by the dimming of the lights and the opening of the curtain. I screamed mercilessly, which was a bigger problem given that there was nobody else in the theater and the echoes had to be piercing. 

Disgusted, my mother dragged me out into the sunlight. I can still feel her anger as she ripped up the tickets out on Stevens Avenue and flung them into the gutter, waxing loudly about this big waste of money. At the time, the two tickets probably cost no more than $1,50. 

For several years thereafter, my movie attendance was predicated on start times. If it was the first show of the day, we always entered the theater ten minutes into the movie. Curtain already open. Lights already out. I was a happy little camper.

But, once I got over these phobias, the Loews Mount Vernon (like the RKO Proctor Theater a block away) would be an unbelievable childhood haven. Pronounced inexplicably "low-wees," this was one of these three-level movie palaces that just reeked of opulence. I remember the smoking lounge on the second floor was huge. I recall the smoking lounge mostly because my mother was there mostly.

The magnificent lobby was always full of fun little gadgets that heralded movies that would be there in "coming weeks." Sometimes, there would be a big display that clicked through View Master-like screen shots of the movie starting next Wednesday. Indeed, I knew by heart the studios that had deals with Loews. They always got the latest films from MGM, Paramount, and Columbia after they came up from "downtown." 

And always the latest Jerry Lewis offering. 

When "The Nutty Professor" opened there, Jerry stopped there on a tour of theaters throughout Westchester. I remember watching the movie and then it suddenly stopped. The house lights went up and out bounced Jerry for about 2 minutes tops. Then, he left, but still it was exciting for me and my little friends since the only other celebrity we saw in Mount Vernon was TV Kiddie Host Claude Kirschner at the opening of a bank.

When I was old enough (probably 8 or 9) to venture to the movies by myself, I would spend whole afternoons and days at Loews. I probably saw "Bye Bye Birdie" four or five times in the one week that it played there. For some bizarre reason, I became entranced with the movie "Jumbo" and devoured that a few times over a weekend. After all, once you were in the theater, you could stay all day right through the double feature and then over again. 

This theater was also where I experienced the Beatles for the first time. Yep, I was there for the very first Mount Vernon, New York showing of "A Hard Day's Night."

For a little while, one of my neighborhood chums had a grandfather who was the chief ticket ripper at Loews. Even better, he would let us in without the ticket or the ripping. No matter what was playing, he got us in there. One day, we got the pass and settled in for the movie which made us all incredibly uncomfortable. It was a lot of women and men doing some things we had only heard about in passing whispers. 

I felt so dirty that I left, raising the eyebrows of the elderly ticket taker who actually got pissed that I was throwing back the free entry. My mom asked me why I was home so early. I replied simply that it was something with the Three Stooges and I had seen it already.

Years later, I saw the offending movie on TV. "Walk on the Wild Side." Jane Fonda barely dressed and living in a whorehouse. Uh-huh. So much for Parental Guidance.

Loews Mount Vernon didn't last for too many years after that as it died several years before the city did. It was replaced by a huge parking garage, which is ironic because there is absolutely no reason to go there.

I drove by the garage last week.   It looks so dingy.   Loews never was.

Dinner last night:  Small sandwich.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - September 2019

Hard to believe this premiered FIFTY years ago this month.   Boy, did I love Karen Valentine??!!

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Your Weekend Movie Guide for September 2019

Sixty years ago today, this was completing a long run at Radio City Music Hall.  It ranks at #3 on my list of Favorite Movies of All Time.  I've seen it dozens of times on both TV and revival theaters.  On this weekend, I salute "North By Northwest."

Is there anything as worthy in theaters this weekend as the fall season kicks in?  Well, we will see.   You know the drill, gang.  I'll sift through the movie pages and give you my gut reaction to what's on our marquees right now.   

Spoiler alert: I can think of one movie I am clamoring to see...

Downton Abbey:   Already have tickets.   This is my version of "The Avengers."  I cannot wait.  And a blog review will certainly result.

Ad Astra:  Brad Pitt as an astronaut searches for family in the solar system.  I wonder if he'll find Jennifer.

Once Upon A Time...In Hollywood:  Still lingering around theaters and it might be the most clever and inventive movie you will ever see.

It - Chapter Two:  That creepy clown returns.  I would say this time he is hiding in a mailbox but you really can't find one of those anymore.

The Goldfinch:  The painting of a tiny bird helps a 13-year-old deal with the death of his mother.  A laugh riot, no doubt.

Hustlers:  Some chick caper and they say it is Jennifer Lopez's best work ever.  Um, compared to what?

Abominable:  Yes, something with the snowman.  Duh.

Running With The Devil:  Not sure but this might be another documentary on Beto O'Rourke.

Hobbs and Shaw:  And not me.

The Overcomer:   A high school track coach and a young female runner.  Hashtag...not interested.

Good Boys:  Young teenage boys use a drone to spy on girls.  It sounds like a cute Disney movie, but it is rated R.

Angry Birds Movie 2:   Tell that to somebody who saw Angry Birds Movie 1.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette:  Probably not to this movie.  It made zero dollars.

Brittany Runs a Marathon:   And will have arthritic knees in about ten years.

Blinded By The Light:  All about a big Bruce Springsteen fan, which would not be me.

The Peanut Butter Falcon:  I thought they played in Atlanta.

Dora and the Lost City of Gold:   A children's movie set in Vegas??

The Fanatic:  John Travolta stars.  You have been warned.

Dinner last night:  Grilled knockwurst and German potato salad.

Credit Where Credit Is Due

Regular readers here know that I have been super critical of my former favorite team, the New York Mets, for a myriad of reasons.  

Indeed, one of my pet peeves has been the Mets Yearbook.   This was a publication I couldn't wait to buy when I was a kid.   It took me weeks to get through it with all the player bios and stats.  Somewhere along the line, it became nothing more than a book of photos and ads.   You could get through it in the course of ten minutes.   

So I made my annual pilgrimage to Citi Field last weekend and I actually debated whether I should even buy the yearbook this year.   But, somehow, tradition reared its annoying head and I caved.

Imagine my surprise when I got home and opened the covers.  Oh sure, it's loaded with advertisements.   And the individual player bios are nothing but their age, their birthplace, and whether they hit right or left-handed.

But smack in the middle of the book is an amazing surprise.  A section devoted to the 1969 New York Mets celebrating their 50th anniversary.  There's actually a story you can read about manager Gil Hodges.   And about 15 or so reproduced pages from the 1969 Mets Yearbook.   Of course, I have it buried in a closet someplace.  But it was actually nice to see it there for fans who weren't even born then. 

The replicated yearbook pages did also show you how the player bios used to be expanded and were worth reading.  But, still, I give credit where credit is due.

Finally, the Mets have done something right.

Dinner last night: Mongolian beef from PF Chang's.

This Date in History - September 18

Happy birthday, Frankie Avalon.  Still missing Annette.

14:  TIBERIUS IS CONFIRMED AS ROMAN EMPEROR BY THE ROMAN SENATE FOLLOWING THE NATURAL DEATH OF AUGUSTUS.

That's because they did change some rulers due to "unnatural" deaths.

96:  NERVA IS PROCLAIMED ROMAN EMPEROR AFTER DOMITIAN IS ASSASSINATED.

Like I said...

1502:  CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS LANDS AT HONDURAS ON HIS FOURTH AND FINAL VOYAGE.

Not counting his 1979 appearance on the Love Boat.

1635:  HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR FERDINAND II OF AUSTRIA DECLARES WAR ON FRANCE.

Hey, Ferdie, did you hear what happened to Domitian?

1759:  DURING THE SEVEN YEARS WAR, THE BRITISH CAPTURE QUEBEC CITY.

A war that has enough years to be sold to TV syndication.

1793:  THE FIRST CORNERSTONE OF THE CAPITOL BUILDING IS LAID BY GEORGE WASHINGTON.

What?   The wife had a headache?

1809:  THE ROYAL OPERA HOUSE IN LONDON OPENS.

Good. Now the Phantom has some place to live.

1837:  TIFFANY AND COMPANY OPENS IN NEW YORK.

Good.  Now Audrey Hepburn has some place to have breakfast.

1838:  THE ANTI-CORN LAW LEAGUE IS ESTABLISHED.

First target?  The TV show Hee Haw.

1851:  FIRST PUBLICATION OF WHAT WOULD BECOME THE NEW YORK TIMES.

And today we're wondering what became of the New York Times.

1870:  OLD FAITHFUL GEYSER IS OBSERVED FOR THE FIRST TIME.

By somebody who got very wet.

1895:  DANIEL DAVID PALMER GIVES THE FIRST CHIROPRACTIC ADJUSTMENT.

PS, he wasn't a doctor.

1905:  ACTOR EDDIE ANDERSON IS BORN.

Rochester!

1905:  DANCER AGNES DE MILLE IS BORN.

Oklahoma!

1905:  ACTRESS GRETA GARBO IS BORN.

You're not alone on this date.  Rochester and Agnes are here, too.

1906:  A TYPHOON AND TSUNAMI KILLS 10,000 PEOPLE IN HONG KONG.

Weather's classic one-two punch.

1916:  ACTOR ROSSANO BRAZZI IS BORN.

Delicious with a glass of chianti.

1919:  FRITZ POLLARD BECOMES THE FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN TO PLAY PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL FOR A MAJOR TEAM, THE AKRON PROS.

Major team????

1924:  POLICE OFFICER JD TIPPIT IS BORN.

The other guy killed in Dallas on November 22, 1963.

1927:  THE COLUMBIA BROADCASTING SYSTEM GOES ON THE AIR.

Except on Time Warner cable systems.

1933:  ACTOR ROBERT BLAKE IS BORN.

You did it!

1934:  THE USSR IS SUBMITTED TO LEAGUE OF NATIONS.

But they changed their mind because there was no DH.

1939:  THE NAZI PROPAGANDA BROADCASTER KNOWN AS LORD HAW HAW BEGINS TRANSMITTING.

The German version of Hee Haw.  Please notify the Anti-Corn League.

1939:  SINGER FRANKIE AVALON IS BORN.

Given his current height, how small a baby was he?

1939:  ACTOR FRED WILLARD IS BORN.

Saw him once in a movie theater.  No, not that kind of movie theater.

1943:  ADOLF HITLER ORDERS THE DEPORTATION OF DANISH JEWS.

And any Jews that eat danishes.

1945:  GENERAL DOUGLAS MACARTHUR MOVES HIS COMMAND HEADQUARTERS TO TOKYO.

Please remove your boots at the door.

1947:  THE US AIR FORCE BECOMES AN INDEPENDENT BRANCH OF THE US ARMED FORCES.

Off we go into the wild, blue yonder.  By the way, what the hell is a yonder?

1961:  UN SECRETARY GENERAL DAG HAMMARSKJOLD DIES IN A CONGO PLANE CRASH.

Truly a loss.  And a name that would be almost 82 points on Scrabble.

1962:  BURUNDI, JAMAICA, RWANDA, TRINIDAD, AND TOBAGO ARE ADMITTED TO THE UNITED NATIONS.

You might want to rethink the admittance of Rwanda.

1968:  ACTOR FRANCHOT TONE DIES.

Once married to Joan Crawford.  I'm surprised he lived this long.

1970:  ROCK MUSICIAN JIMI HENDRIX DIES.

In what other blog today would you find both the names of Franchot Tone and Jimi Hendrix?

1973:  THE BAHAMAS, EAST GERMANY, AND WEST GERMANY ARE ADMITTED TO THE UNITED NATIONS.

Hey, you Germans, that's separate dues for the both of you.

1975:  PATTY HEARST IS ARRESTED AFTER A YEAR ON THE FBI MOST WANTED LIST.

And Match.com's Least Wanted List.

1990:  LICHTENSTEIN BECOMES A MEMBER OF THE UNITED NATIONS.

Whoever you are, welcome.

1997:  MEDIA MOGUL TED TURNER DONATES ONE BILLION DOLLARS TO THE UNITED NATIONS.

Somebody wants a discount at the UN gift shop.

2001:  FIRST MAILING OF ANTHRAX LETTERS FROM TRENTON, NEW JERSEY IN THE 2001 ANTHRAX ATTACKS.

You think that's bad?  I'm still getting junk mail from Capital One.

2004:  DIRECTOR RUSS MEYER DIES.

He did lots of soft porn.  God bless him.

2009:  THE SOAP OPERA GUIDING LIGHT ENDS ITS RUN AFTER 72 YEARS.  

So, what was the final count on illegitimate pregnancies?

Dinner last night:  Long travel day so nothing.

Do The Indians Want It Back?

It's a well known legend that may or may not be true.   Three hundred or so years ago, the Indians sold the island of Manhattan to settlers for 24 bucks.   

I wonder if the buyers kept the receipt.  And can they get their money back?

I write this as I lived through a horrific day in Manhattan.  Not as terrible as the infamous 9/11, but crummy for a normal day.  I don't think it's anything but a regular day on the once-revered island.

I used to commute to Manhattan every day in a previous life.  Each day was by rote and almost robotic.   The same Metro North train into Grand Central.  And then since everybody was centered in Midtown, it was always a short walk to your place of business.

Um, not any more.  Oh, sure, Midtown is still loaded down with offices.  But the lower end of Manhattan is now being overloaded with companies moving down there.   Probably because the rent is cheaper.

So now, if you pop into the city via Grand Central, you often have to drag yourself to the subway for another twenty minute ride.   There is no other way to do it.

Now I had to do just that the other day.   Ride Metro North in and then get down to lower Manhattan.  For me, the subways are not an ideal option with all the stairs and my knees and such.  So I opted to hail a taxicab.  Okay, that used to be easy, right?

Wrong.

Traffic all over is at such a standstill that cabs don't stream by easily.  Indeed, they trickle by.  Drip by drip by drip.  I stood with my arm in the air with gobs of classic humidity oozing from every pore of my body.

When I finally scored a cab, the driver was...how would you say....stupid.  It needed to look at a map when I called out my address of destination.   And then proceeded to zig zag from one crowded street to another.

As I watched this slow cab to China wind its way downtown, I noticed something.   The city has gone out of its own way to make things miserable.

Delivery trucks double parked at every turn.

Designated bike lanes that eat up part of every thoroughfare.   

Designated pedestrian walkways in the street.

Scaffolding everywhere.  New buildings going up.  Old buildings being restored.  

It took forty-five minutes to get downtown.  And it wasn't even rush hour.   

Heading back to Grand Central, I opted to call for a Lyft.  My driver, Mohammad, pulled up and couldn't read my name on the app and he alleged that I was stealing a ride from somebody else.   I had to show him more identification than I do to board a flight at the airport.

He got me to Grand Central in a little less time.   Despite a tow truck broadsiding him.   You can't make this crap up.

Once at GCT, I channeled my old commuting days by treating myself to a black and white cookie from Zaro's.   I remember they used to be a dollar.  Now $4.50.

I realized that, if I had still lived in New York, I would have long since figured out a way not to work in Manhattan anymore.   

And also thought about the fact that even the Indians, still reeling at their treatment by the White settlers, wouldn't want this mess back at any price.

Dinner last night:  Hibachi steak at the Cheesecake Factory.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - September 16, 2019

What day is it again, Na-Tassia???

Dinner last night:  Szechwan beef at PF Chang's.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - A Father's Gift

This is not a photo of my very first car, but it is darn close.   A 1980 Toyota Corolla with a stick shift.  It was that color brown, too.

Now if you are looking at the title of this post and thinking how nice it was for my dad to buy my first car, you're wrong.  Oh, I got a little assistance from my dad and my grandmother for the down payment.  But this thing got paid off on time by yours truly.   And it took a while.  It's a good thing, too, that the car lasted ten years.  The major issue at the end of the decade was not whether the car ran fine.   The roof was covered in rust and the plastic upholstery was torn from end to end.  

But, still to this day, I lease exclusively Toyota vehicles.   And every three years, I turn a car in and get a new one.

So, again you ask, what's the gift?

Well, when I got my Corolla, Dad gave me the ultimate presentation to keep in the trunk of my vehicle.

A wooden block the size of a brick.

Uh?

"Well, you never know when you will need it to prop up the car if you get a flat."

Okay.  Now, to this day, I have never changed a tire.   I mean, that's what AAA memberships are for.   But, nevertheless, I got this wooden block handed down from my dad as if it were spiritual guidance.

And, since it was always in the trunk of my car, it always got transferred to my newer vehicle.

When I had my then-Camry shipped to Los Angeles upon my move west, the wooden block went along on the cross-country ride.  Then switching out car leases here, the block always made the transfer.   

It's as much a part of my car as my driving it.  I've held onto it more as a tribute to my dad than anything else.  Even if it had zero use.

Until....

Two weeks ago, the metal frame that holds the slats of my platform bed had a malfunction.  One corner of the bed started to sag.   Now the drama is how to find a handyman to fix this.   And what do I use until then?

Ah!

You see how perfectly it is propping up the corner of the bed with the assistance of a book.  It is doing a masterful job until the right repairman comes along.

Thanks, Dad.  It did come in handy.

Dinner last night:  Hot dog at Citi Field.