Hollywood Then and Now - May 2022

Next to Century City, Westwood is the closest shopping area near me in Los Angeles.

Except nobody shops there anymore.  Not the nearby UCLA students.   Not the public residing blocks away.   Cruise Westwood these days and the main business thriving is the one who prints "For Lease" signs.

I am told that, back in the day, there was a really exclusive department store there.

Those days are over.   Oh, the building still exists.  Except the store occupying it is....um....a little different.

Well, that's one way to get UCLA kids there.  You know Target will have plenty of ramen noodles.

Meanwhile, this building is so big that the back half is devoted to a huge Ralph's super market.   I know.   I shop there every Saturday.

Dinner last night:  The pre-game buffet at the Dodger Stadium Club.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - May 30, 2022

Happy Memorial Day!  Not so much a laugh, but a big smile today.

Dinner last night:  Beef tri-tip and macaroni salad.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - My Memorial Day Tradition

 

I think of it every year at this time.

If you don't know how to properly fold an American flag for this Memorial Day weekend, the animated diagram above shows you how.

The good news is that I've known how since I was ten years old. Was I some sort of an Army brat?

Nope, I learned it all from Grandma.

In the house I grew up in on South 15th Avenue in Mount Vernon, New York, we had a big honking flag pole cemented right in the middle of the front yard. It actually stretched past our apartment on the second floor. It was as big as any you might find in front of the most important of Federal buildings. But it was all ours. Right there where my grandmother could easily see it from her first floor living room window.

More importantly, we used it on all the national holidays. Come Memorial Day or the Fourth of July or even Veteran's Day in November, I would hear the hallway closet downstairs creak open. I'd envision the boxes being moved this way or that. The smell of mothballs would waft up to the second floor.

Yep, Grandma was rooting around for the American flag again.

I'd walk around the neighborhood and not see a lot of the same patriotism on these holidays. Certainly, not an American flag being hoisted up a huge pole at the crack of dawn. But, that's what my grandparents did like clockwork.

After my grandfather died, I could no longer exist in mere passive curiosity.  My grandmother would not allow it.

"You gonna help me now."

Okay, Grandma. I figured it was only going to be a slight diversion to my day of play. Yet, I had no idea how seriously she took this ceremony. The way in which the flag was unfolded. How it was handled with the utmost of care.

And, at the end of the day, the precise folding of the banner. Military style. To the strictest of code. My first few attempts did not go well.

"No, no, no. Not that way. This way!"

The words had a sharp tone. Grandma meant business with this. And I was treating it all like Gomer Pyle, USMC.

After a while, I got it. And we responded on every holiday. Granted we weren't a bunch of Marines following the flag over President John F. Kennedy's casket. But Grandma and I got into a neat rhythm when it was time to put the flag away. We did it as flawlessly as we could. Moreover, we did it with the proper amount of respect.

Several years later, I asked my father about that tradition. What was I missing? What was behind the flag ceremony?

"Well, you do know that's the flag that covered your uncle's casket?"

A funeral held in the south of France where he was killed in the waning days of World War II. A ceremony that nobody in the family had attended. For my grandmother's son. The person I was ultimately named after.

No, Dad, I didn't know that.

In this recent picture of that house years after I left it, the flagpole stands as tall as ever.
Without the flag. Without me and Grandma standing at the base, momentarily watching it proudly flap in the gentle breeze.

Except for the memories, that flagpole stands. Simply and utterly just there.

Dinner last night:  Sausage and mushroom pizza from Maria's.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - May 2022

 Holy moley!   This movie is 60 years old this month???!!!

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Memorial Day Is Not Just for Soldiers

 

Dinner last night:  French toast with my homemade bacon jam.

You Can't Refuse

 

"The Godfather" is #5 on my list of all time favorite movies.   So it was a natural that I would sample this new mini-series being offered up on Paramount Plus.  But I never expected that I would love it as much as I do.   

This is all about the making of the legendary film.   But it's not a documentary.  You have actors playing all the principals involved and some of the performances are dead on.  The attention to detail is superlative and very accurate as compared to another "making of" drama/piece of shit called "Being the Ricardos."

Now maybe we shouldn't be surprised by the accuracy.   One of the producers of this mini-series is Albert S. Ruddy who was also one of the producers of the original film.   Yes, he is still around albeit in his 90s.   The screen credit says it's based on his experiences producing "The Godfather."   Are there likely some embellishments?   Of course.   It is still as captivating as all get out.   And provides some factoids that I never knew.  For instance, I was completely in the dark that Ruddy was originally the producer of "Hogan's Heroes."

One of the other main players in this drama is Paramount executive Robert Evans who himself had a documentary or two devoted to himself.   Evans' voice is very distinctive and "Downton Abbey" veteran Matthew Goode nails it in a performance that is bound to win an Emmy.   By the way, if you're wondering why Goode isn't in the newest Downton movie...welp, he was busy making "The Offer."

I have no idea if Miles Teller is completely embodying the role of Ruddy, but he's damn interesting as he fights both Hollywood and Mafiaoso Joe Columbo to get this movie made.   Along the way, you meet all the principals.  Mario Puzo.  Francis Ford Coppola.  A young Al Pacino played by an actor who is a complete doppelganger for a young Al Pacino.  You see how Brando himself fashioned the look of Don Corleone.  You have Colin Hanks played famed Paramount executive Barry Diller.   And Colin looks just like...well...his dad.   But that's a minor quibble because everything else is so damn perfect.

This mini-series is 10 episodes long and one episode is dropped weekly...just the way I like it.   "The Offer" will run through mid-June and it is well worth your time, especially if you're a film geek.   You will want to kiss the ring of all concerned.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

This Date in History - May 25

 

Damn.  I've been waiting for a Wednesday where I could say this and post this photo.  Happy birthday, Karen Valentine!

240 BC:  FIRST RECORDED PERIHELION PASSAGE OF HALLEY'S COMET.

Ajax works best on kitchen sinks.

1420:  HENRY THE NAVIGATOR IS APPOINTED GOVERNOR OF THE ORDER OF CHRIST.

Henry is Siri's husband?

1521:  THE DIET OF WORMS ENDS WHEN CHARLES V, HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR, ISSUES THE EDICT OF WORMS, DECLARING MARTIN LUTHER AN OUTLAW.

Somebody doesn't like the founder of my chosen religion.

1738:  A TREATY BETWEEN PENNSYLVANIA AND MARYLAND ENDS THE CONOJOCULAR WAR.   

Conojocular sounds like it pertains to the groin.

1819:  THE ARGENTINE CONSTITUTION OF 1819 IS PROMULGATED.

Promulgated also sounds like it pertains to the groin.

1833:  THE CHILEAN CONSTITUTION OF 1833 IS PROMULGATED.

What I just said.

1878:  GILBERT AND SULLIVAN'S COMIC OPERA HMS PINAFORE OPENS IN LONDON.

Discount tickets for previews.

1895:  PLAYWRIGHT/POET OSCAR WILDE IS CONVICTED OF COMMITTING ACTS OF GROSS INDECENCY WITH OTHER MALE PERSONS AND IS SENTENCED TO TWO YEARS IN PRISON.

Where he can probably do more acts of gross indecency in the shower.

1898:  PUBLISHER BENNETT CERF IS BORN.

So that's his line?

1921:  SONGWRITER/COMPOSER HAL DAVID IS BORN.  

Now Burt Bacharach can have a partner.

1925:  SCOPES TRIAL - JOHN T. SCOPES IS INDICTED FOR TEACHING CHARLES DARWIN'S THEORY OF EVOLUTION.

Inherit this wind.

1932:  COMIC STEVE ROSSI IS BORN.

Hello dere.

1935:  JESSE OWENS OF OHIO STATE BREAKS THREE WORLD RECORDS IN A TRACK AND FIELD MEET IN ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN.

See you in Berlin in about a year.

1939:  ACTRESS DIXIE CARTER IS BORN.

Nice lady.

1943:  SINGER LESLIE UGGAMS IS BORN.

Sing Along with Mitch.

1947:  ACTRESS KAREN VALENTINE IS BORN.

My first TV crush.

1950:  THE GREEN HORNET DISASTER - A CHICAGO STREETCAR CRASHES INTO A FUEL TRUCK, KILLING 33.   

Kato?

1953:  THE FIRST PUBLIC TELEVISION STATION IN THE US OFFICIALLY BEGINS BROADCASTING AS KUHT IN HOUSTON.

Pledge Drive starts in a week.

1961:  US PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY ANNOUNCES HIS GOAL TO PUT A MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE THE END OF THE DECADE.

Damn, he was right.

1968:  THE GATEWAY ARCH IN ST. LOUIS IS DEDICATED.

Hmmm.  I thought it was always there.

1977:  STAR WARS IS RELEASED IN THEATERS.

Let the geeks be with us.

1979:  IN CHICAGO, AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PLANE CRASHES DURING TAKEOFF, KILLING ALL 271 ON BOARD.

I still remember the newspaper photo of this happening.   Chilling.

1979:  ETAN PATZ, SIX YEARS OLD, DISAPPEARS FROM THE STREET JUST TWO BLOCKS AWAY FROM HIS HOME IN NEW YORK CITY.

Now officially called National Missing Children Day.

1985:  BANGLADESH IS HIT BY A STORM SURGE, KILLING APPROXIMATELY 10,000 PEOPLE.

Who were hungry, too.

1986:  HANDS ACROSS AMERICA TAKES PLACE.

Kumbaya.

2001:  ERIK WEIHENMAYER, 32, BECOMES THE FIRST BLIND PERSON TO REACH THE SUMMIT OF MOUNT EVEREST.

How's the view?

2007:  ACTOR CHARLES NELSON REILLY DIES.

Brilliant man.   Never got the credit for being as funny as he was.

2011:  OPRAH WINFREY AIRS HER LAST SHOW.

And the world still kept revolving.

2020:  GEORGE FLOYD IS MURDERED BY A COP IN MINNEAPOLIS.

And then all these peaceful protests happened and lots of people stole their new TVs.

Dinner last night:  Grilled Taylor Ham and bacon jam on English muffin.

A New Era Same As The Old Era

 

And trust me.   That's a damn good thing.   Because, as a virtual metaphor of the last two years, the newest Downton Abbey is a welcome sight.

Indeed, the first Downton Abbey movie, released in September 2019, may have been the last good time for a group.   Five of my friends went together.   All of us were fans of the show and couldn't wait to see two dozen of our favorite character friends again.  That night, we were also unanimous in one sensation.  We couldn't wait for another visit to Downton.

And then...March 2020.  Need I say more.

Gallantly, the Downton Abbey folks worked during COVID-restricted 2021 to provide us with hope for a new era and the next era.  According to director Simon Curtis (star Elizabeth McGovern's hubby), a total of 15,000 COVID tests were administered daily to cast and crew.  

So when the second film opened last week, it was indeed a tribute to them that this got made.   But, also, a tip of the hat to fans and moviegoers who survived the lockdowns and quarantines.   When the movie opens with those familiar piano key tinkles, you were instantly reassured that life was back to whatever new normal it is today.  

Just like you not being able to see friends and loved ones for a long time, the Downton Abbey cast of characters are also now included in that group of people you can enjoy all over again.   Seeing it with a full house at the soon-to-be-gone Landmark Theater in Los Angeles and director Curtis and co-stars McGovern and Allan Leech doing a Q and A after the film, it was almost 2019 all over again.

As a story, Downton's writer Julian Fellowes knows his format and fulfills it.   He knows how to craft a tale that gives each of his two dozen actors a moment to shine.   It is remarkable how he manages to do that in a two-hour frame.

Indeed, "A New Era" clicks all the usual Downton boxes.  There is a wedding, several proposals, illness fears, and a funeral so opulent that it serves as the substitute for all those memorial services people had to miss the past two years.  

Plus the film is as lush as Downton ever has been.   Half the characters spend part of the movie in the south of France while the other half is back in the castle contending with a nifty subplot of a silent movie being shot on the property.  Given that there are people who really do live in that castle, this was a wonderful "wink wink" development.   And it also serves as a bit of a homage to "Singin' In The Rain."   You will understand when you see it, which I sincerely hope you do.

I cannot wait for the next.   Even the most lethal of variants can't stop that from happening.

LEN'S RATING:  Four stars.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - May 23, 2022

 A game show classic.   What a dunce.

Dinner last night:  Strip steak and pan roasted tomatoes.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - A Johnny Carson Holiday

 

Today it's thirty years since Johnny Carson and his Tonight Show left the airwaves.  

And I am mourning him all over again.  I made a pledge at the time that I would never watch a late night talk show again.  And, except for some very isolated moments, I have remained steadfast and loyal to the one and only King of Late Night. 

For me, "The Tonight Show" was as much a part of my childhood as Bugs Bunny, the New York Mets, and homework.  It was my earliest connection to a magical world.  Hollywood.  The stars I loved.  The world I craved.  And, sitting in my bedroom with my black-and-white TV set in Mount Vernon, New York, this all seemed so far away. 

Johnny was my pathway to it all.  I was a weird twelve-year-old.  I loved a good television talk show.  I've written about this before, but it bears repeating.

When I was a kid, I loved loved loved Fridays. Not only was school done for the week and the weekend of play was at hand, it was the one weeknight that my bedtime was not under Nazi control. Translation: I could stay up till all hours, as long as I kept the TV in my room and me quiet. Not an issue. I didn't want to do anything that might endanger my Friday night watching Johnny Carson and "The Tonight Show."

This was when late night talk shows were true entertainment. Spontaneous, funny, educational, always interesting. Nothing like the over-rehearsed publicist-driven offerings now hosted by Jay Leno and David Letterman.   There's not an organic moment on their shows.

I looked forward to those Friday nights with Johnny. What old friend would I get to see that evening?

Tony Randall teaching us the origination of some obscure word.

Suzanne Pleshette complaining about her husband.   Watching this, I had no idea that, years later, I would have several telephone conversations with that very man.

Pearl Bailey pulling Johnny out to join her in a soft shoe dance.

Jimmy Stewart reading one of his poems, perhaps dedicated to the paper clip.

Joan Embery from the San Diego Zoo putting some creature on top of Johnny's head.

Don Rickles popping out to surprise Johnny during a Japanese bath.

Maybe Carnak. Or Aunt Blabby. Or Art Fern. It was always a roll of the dice, but it almost always came up a winner for me.

Once I actually had to expand my viewership beyond Friday. In a much ballyhooed event, that crazy crooner Tiny Tim was going to actually get married on a "Tonight Show" episode airing on, gasp, a Monday (and school)night. This precipitated about three weeks of Kissinger-like negotiations with my mother to be allowed to stay up for the nuptuals. I had to commit to going to bed at 7:30PM for several hours, so that my eight hour plus sleep time would not be disrupted.

My alarm went off at 1125PM that night.  My mother wondered about this alien noise.  Had she forgotten our deal?

"Go to sleep!"

But....

But....

BUT....

I won the argument.  And slept through my science class the next morning.

If I wasn't watching Johnny Carson on Friday nights, I was doing my own version of "The Tonight Show" in the basement.  I've written before here about the "TV shows" I used to do in my own little cellar studio.  Sometimes, I would arrange things for my sitcom set.  Or "The Mike Douglas Show."  But, there were certain days where the situation was right to do my "Tonight Show."

When Grandma's wash was drying on the line inside. 

You see, that gave me the opportunity to have a curtain.  I mean, I had to come onto the stage through a curtain like Johnny, right?

When Grandma had hung up her slipcovers, that was the optimum. 

"Don't play stupid with my laundry!"

Hey, I was just trying to be as authentic as possible.  And your slipcovers are fine, thank you very much.

When I got a little bit older, I started looking at Johnny's written material.  Hmmm, I can do this.  Suddenly, I would be writing down my own Carnac questions and slipping them into envelopes.  I'd go "up the block" to my friends and do a one-man-show for them. 

There was another bit that Johnny did which intrigued me as well.  He'd put funny captions on classic movie photos and do somebody's family tree.  Hmmm, I can do this, too.

I'd troop down to the Mount Vernon Public Library and pull out some books on old films.  I'd find the weirder pictures and, then......RRIIIIIPPPPP.  Right out of the book.  To this day, there are probably some books in that wonderful hall of literature that are missing whole pages.  Yes, I took them.

I'd mount the photos on cardboard and then, armed with my own version of a family tree, take them outside to entertain my friends in between punchball games.  They laughed.  I must have been doing something right.

As I have written before in these blog pages, my love for "The Tonight Show" also provided me with my first-ever attendance as a member of a studio audience.  Long, long ago, Johnny's gabfest was based in NC Studios at 30 Rockefeller Plaza. And the age limit for tickets was a very loose "15." I would send for tickets and then my friend Leo and I would truck down there for the 530PM taping.

As soon as we got home, I would send for more tickets the very next day. I continued to do this for about four years. And we relished the 1230AM commercial break where they always showed the audience and we would clamor to see us enjoy that 15 nano-seconds of fame.

As I got older, I got to watch "The Tonight Show" a lot more than just Friday nights. And it was the ideal way to end a day of college or work. Because it was spontaneous. Television you will never ever see again. Whether it was a celebrity or maybe an animal, you didn't know what to expect.  Like this less-than-toilet-trained coyote.
 

In this classic clip, Doc Severinsen and Johnny discuss their plans for Thanksgiving.  Totally unscripted.   And genuine.

Or the night where Ed McMahon was a little tipsy.

It's one show that I truly miss to this day. And now I go to bed on Friday nights at the same time I go every other night.

And I long for one more chance to stay up late with Johnny. 

Dinner last night:  Had a big lunch so just some Carvel ice cream.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - May 2022

 Did anybody actually watch this program?

Dinner last night:  Hot dog and popcorn at the last ever screening at the Landmark.

Your Weekend Movie Guide for May 2022

 

Sadly, another theater bites the dust.   The Landmark, less than a mile away from my home, is going to close at the end of May.   It never really recovered from the COVID lockdown where people never had to leave their couch for a first run film.   

For me, the Landmark was no Arclight Hollywood (also still shuttered) but it was handy and a much better place to watch a movie than the dreaded AMC chain with its requisite 45 minutes of trailers.  I will lament its loss with this weekend movie guide.   You know the drill, gang.   I will sift through the LA Times movie pages and give you my knee jerk and gut reaction to what's on screen.

If there's a neighborhood and independent movie cinema near you, try and see (or sit through) one of the films below.

Downton Abbey - A New Era:  My version of a Marvel movie.  I have to go opening weekend.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness:   A Marvel-type movie that will see on no weekend.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent:   Strictly for Nicolas Cage fans because it's all about...well...Nicolas Cage.

The Northman: Medieval shit which I also always skip.

Montana Story:  Estranged siblings return to the state of their childhood. Expect at least three scenes in a Walmart.

Happening:   In 1960s France, a young pregnant girl considers abortion.  Who leaked?

Petite Maman:  Something from France....also regularly avoided by moi.

Vortex:  An aging French couple deal with declining health.   See Petite Maman.

The Duke:  Jim Broadbent and Helen Mirren in a film about a taxi driver who steals a Goya painting.   Wait, let me guess.   The painting is of a Duke??

Everything Everywhere All At Once:  Some sci-fi thing with Michelle Yeoh.   It just sounds like something I would avoid, too.

Operation Mincemeat:   British Intelligence fights the Nazis in WWII.   Of course, nobody under the age of 40 these days even knows what WWII was.

Firestarter:   Another unoriginal idea to remake a Stephen King book and movie.

Dinner last night:   Sandwich.

Yay! I Finished Reading Another Book

 

Long time readers to this blog know this lament all too well.   I don't read.   I buy books all the time.   And they pile up.   

Back when I was traveling between LA and NY ten times a year, my reading was a lot more prominent.   And even then.   I would get halfway through something and then put it aside for a year.   I even started this blog book report to jump start books into my hands more often.   Did that work?   Welp, the last time I did such a blog book report was in 2020!

Now I grabbed "The Boys" by Ron and Clint Howard as soon as it came out.   And I immediately cracked it open.   That was last October.   I just finished it a few weeks ago.   And, oddly enough, it had me riveted.   Or as riveted as I get.

Lengthy preamble aside, I loved this memoir.   Truth be told, I have always been a long time admirer of Ron Howard as he is truly one of the really good guys in Hollywood.   Once I saw him on line for popcorn with one of his kids at the Egyptian Theater for a showing of "Guns of Navarone."   I came this close to breaking my rule about not bothering celebs in person.   But, ultimately, my civility prevailed.   But I digress...

This is one of those memoirs that's sort of an oral history.   Ron writes a few pages and then brother Clint shares a similar memory.   Given the stature difference of their careers, Ron's pages are more plentiful than Clint's.   But the same theme flows through all of their words.

They are decent people largely because they were raised by some very grounded and decent parents.  That's the heart of this book and both Mom and Dad Howard linger in their memories on virtually every page.  They truly did a remarkable job raising two boys in the spotlight of Tinseltown.

Oh sure, there are some nifty tales about "The Andy Griffith Show" and 
Happy Days" and "Gentle Ben."   And Clint shares his arduous time as a strung-out teenager.   Indeed, the book only covers their years up to Ron's departure from "Happy Days."  If you're looking for juicy stories about his film directing, that might turn up in another book.    In this one, however, it's their childhood and young adulthood that is the focus.   And that's all because of the significant roles their parents played in their lives.

I heartily recommend "The Boys."   It's a quick read...and that's something coming out of my mouth.

Onto the next book in my pile.   And you'll probably hear all about it in 2024.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

This Date in History - May 18

 

Happy first birthday in Heaven, Dobie Gillis.   Now you and Maynard...or Gilligan...are together again.

332:  CONSTANTINE THE GREAT ANNOUNCED FREE DISTRIBUTIONS OF FOOD TO THE CITIZENS IN CONSTANTINOPLE.

Meals on Wheels.   Or, more likely, hooves.

526:  JOHN 1 DIES.

Meaning there are going to be 22 more Pope Johns.

1096:  FIRST CRUSADE - ABOUT 800 JEWS ARE MASSACRED IN WORMS, GERMANY.

In case you thought this was an original idea of Adolf Hitler.

1152:  HENRY II OF ENGLAND MARRIES ELEANOR OF AQUITAINE.  

Aquitaine always sounds like a new mineral water drink.

1499:  ALONSO DE OJEDA SETS SAIL FROM CADIZ ON HIS VOYAGE TO WHAT IS NOW VENEZUELA.  

Later on it was a stop for the Love Boat.   Charo was in that episode.

1565:  THE ROYAL AUDIENCIA OF CONCEPCION IS CREATED BY A DECREE OF PHILIP II OF SPAIN.

Done before a live studio audiencia.

1631:  JOHN WINTHROP TAKES THE OATH OF OFFICE AND BECOMES THE FIRST GOVERNOR OF MASSACHUSETTS.

Because somebody had to.

1652:  RHODE ISLAND PASSES THE FIRST LAW IN NORTH AMERICA MAKING SLAVERY ILLEGAL.

The littlest state will lead.

1756:  THE SEVEN YEARS' WAR BEGINS WHEN GREAT BRITAIN DECLARES WAR ON FRANCE.

Gee, these countries have never loved each other, have they?

1763:  FIRE DESTROYS A LARGE PART OF MONTREAL.

Mon Dieu!

1804:  NAPOLEON BONAPARTE IS PROCLAIMED EMPEROR OF THE FRENCH BY THE FRENCH SENATE.

Mon Dieu, the Sequel.

1860:  ABRAHAM LINCOLN WINS THE REPUBLICAN PARTY PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION OVER WILLIAM H,. SEWARD.

I wonder if this was a brokered convention.

1896:  THE US SUPREME COURT RULES IN PLESSY V. FERGUSON THAT THE "SEPARATE BUT EQUAL" DOCTRINE IS CONSTITUTIONAL.

Back when the US Supreme Court was impartial.

1897:  DIRECTOR FRANK CAPRA IS BORN.

Beginning a wonderful life.

1902:  COMPOSER MEREDITH WILLSON IS BORN.

The man responsible for my favorite musical, "The Music Man."

1904:  POLITICIAN JACOB JAVITS IS BORN.   

He was once a colonel.   Who knew?

1910:  THE EARTH PASSES THROUGH THE TAIL OF COMET HAILEY.

That had to hurt.

1912:  SINGER PERRY COMO IS BORN.

Zzzzzzzzzzz.

1917:  WORLD WAR I - THE SELECTIVE SERVICE ACT OF 1917 IS PASSED, GIVING THE PRESIDENT OF THE US THE POWER OF CONSCRIPTION.

Isn't this about the time Woodrow Wilson had a stroke in office?

1920:  POPE JOHN PAUL II IS BORN.

Habeas baby.

1922:  ACTOR BILL MACY IS BORN.

Maude!

1924:  ACTRESS PRISCILLA POINTER IS BORN.

Mother of Pam and Cliff Barnes on TV.   Mother of Amy Irving in real life.

1926:  EVANGELIST AIMEE SEMPLE MCPHERSON DISAPPEARS WHILE VISITING A CALIFORNIA BEACH.

Okay, who buried the preacher in the sand?

1928:  ACTOR PERNELL ROBERTS IS BORN.

Adam Cartwright!   Trapper John, MD!!

1931:  ACTOR ROBERT MORSE IS BORN.

How To Slide Down a Birth Canal Without Really Trying.

1933:  NEW DEAL - PRESIDENT FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT SIGNS AN ACT CREATING THE TENNESSEE VALLEY AUTHORITY.

Never became a song like "Harper Valley PTA."

1934:  ACTOR DWAYNE HICKMAN IS BORN.

It's Many Loves, No Many Lives of Dobie Gillis.

1953:  JACKIE COCHRAN BECOMES THE FIRST WOMAN TO BREAK THE SOUND BARRIER.

Too many jokes to choose just one.

1969:  APOLLO 10 IS LAUNCHED.

The one in two months will be the big deal.

1980:  MOUNT ST. HELENS ERUPTS IN THE STATE OF WASHINGTON, KILLING 57 PEOPLE.

Boy, that's hot.

1981:  ACTOR ARTHUR O'CONNELL DIES.

Great character actor.

1990:  ACTRESS JILL IRELAND DIES.

Mrs. Charles Bronson.

1992:  ACTOR MARSHALL THOMPSON DIES.

Daktari!

1995:  ACTRESS ELIZABETH MONTGOMERY DIES.

Wiggle your nose now.

2014:  SINGER JERRY VALE DIES.

Pass the meatballs.

2020:  ACTOR KEN OSMOND DIES.

Yes, Mrs. Cleaver.

2021:  ACTOR CHARLES GRODIN DIES.

Always found him a little odd.

Dinner last night:  Pork tenderloin sandwich.

Len's Recipe of the Month - May 2022

 

This may be the shortest recipe I have ever written up.

Bacon.

Done.

Just kidding, this is a bacon wrapped pork tenderloin.  Quick and easy and...

Bacon.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Get a two pound pork tenderloin at the butcher or super market.

Salt it and pepper it.

Mix a half cup of brown sugar with a cup of ketchup.

Slather it onto the tenderloin.

Take four to five slices of thick cut bacon.   Wrap it around the meat either length wise or circular.

Roast it on the oven on a wire rack and pan for about forty minutes.

Tent it for ten minutes and then slice.  And then...

BACON!

Dinner last night:  Leftover....bacon wrapped pork tenderloin!

Monday Morning Video Laugh - May 16, 2022

 RIP Gilbert Gottfried.   Your humor will be missed.

Dinner last night:  Pork tenderloin.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - When The Living Ain't Easy

 

Lord,  I've been in my share of apartments.   Six to be exact.    And it ain't always been a walk in the park.

This is a photo of 455 North Broadway in Yonkers, the very first apartment I lived in on my own.  (A Fordham dorm doesn't count)   This complex is a series of very roomy town homes and I spent about ten years there.  For the most part, these were good times.  For a while, I had very good friends living two doors away.  All was pleasant.

Until the very last year.

Okay, the way the town homes were laid out, I shared a front porch and stairway with the unit on the other side of me.  We also shared the same terrace in the back.  The "way too close" neighbors for most of this time were a divorced woman and two wayward teenage kids.  Mom must have been getting her groove on, because she disappeared for whole weekends at a time.  Leaving the two pre-sixteen-year-olds to fend for themselves. 

Yes, noise ensued frequently.

And, yes, the police were called frequently.

By yours truly.

One such violation of trust really exploded on these two brats.  When Mom returned from her weekend between the sheets with whatever boyfriend she had at the time, she beat the kids up.

Frequently. 

I lived through that noise and I refrained from calling the police this time around.  I was having too much fun listening to these two dummies get what was coming to them.

Eventually, these shitheads moved out and I soon would be longing for their return.  Because, the new tenants turned out to be....

Hillbillies.

No, not the Jed Clampett kind.  These were real slobs from down South.  An older Black couple and there were a couple of kids attached.  Who they belonged to is beyond me?  But, at times, there were so many goofballs going in and out of the apartment that it may have been doubling for the Yonkers branch of HUD.

Okay, the older folks were nice enough.  Very pleasant and folksy.  They came off like a couple of wise crackin' characters on a 1973 Norman Lear sitcom.  The only thing missing was the regular utterance of "dyn-o-mite."  My attitude was that, as long as they left me alone, I would join in with the reciprocal treatment and we could all co-exist amicably.

Until one summer's day when I came home from work.  To find, carefully laid out on our shared front porch, squirrel pelts.

I repeat.

Squirrel pelts.

What the fuck????

Big Momma came out as I surveyed the daily kill.  I spoke the innocent question that just screamed to be asked.  What the hell is this?

"Oh, my husband went huntin'."

No fooling.

"He got some squirrel."

I can see that.  And you're going to be using these skins to make what?

"Oh, they have to dry in the sun before you can do anything with them."

Uh-huh. 

I thought about my address.  I lived in a relatively urban metropolis.  All of a sudden, I was having a conversation that usually takes place somewhere in the Ozarks.

With images of squirrel fur in my mind, I went inside to have dinner.  Or I looked at it before I threw up the last five meals that I had ingested.

And then I wondered...

Where was the rest of the squirrel, um, innards?

Later that night, I had retired to my bedroom upstairs.  Suddenly, I smelled something cooking on the back terrace of my neighbor's.

Oh, no.  Grilling.

I poked my head out of the window.  Big Papa was flipping some meat on his barbecue.  Once again, I spoke the innocent question that just screamed to be asked.  What the hell is that???

"Squirrel."

Kill me now.

"You want some.  It's gooooooood!"

He smacked his lips.  I slammed my window shut.

Suddenly, I was an actively interested buyer in the real estate market.  Looking to purchase any apartment miles away from the charter franchise of "Squirrel Delight."

Just to show you that neighborly hell can be universal, our next tale takes place 3000 miles away.  At the apartment complex shown above on Clark Drive, which is on the cusp of the Beverly Hills city limits.  My writing partner and I roomed there for about a year when we first migrated to Los Angeles.  Almost as soon as we got there, the owners made plans to switch from rental status to condos, which were incredibly unaffordable.  No worries.  The apartment itself wasn't that great.

And the neighbors downstairs definitely sucked. 

Once again, I found myself in proximity to a divorced mother with two teenage brats.  And Mom left virtually every weekend to have, er, her pipes cleaned.

Now, our front door overlooked the pool area.  The dysfunctional bunch was  directly below us and their unit was essentially next to the pool.  When Mommy would leave for the entire weekend to run off with her boyfriend, the two urchins took the opportunity to have night-long slumber parties every Friday and Saturday nights. We'd pound on the floor to no avail. It was extremely frustrating.   This went on for several months.

So, you can imagine my anger one Sunday night when I dropped a can of tomatoes on the kitchen floor. Two minutes later, there is a knock on the door from Mommy Downstairs.

"Could you please keep the noise down?"

Huh?

She left so quickly that I had no chance to respond. But, my writing partner had plenty to say when he got home several hours later and heard my story.

"We'll fix her ass."

Two days later, my roommate had to be working till 3AM. When I walked out of my bedroom to go to work in the morning, he had pinned a note to my door.

"On your way out, go downstairs and see what I did."

In the middle of the night, he had taken every piece of pool furniture and stacked it up against their front door. The way it was all positioned, it would come crashing into their apartment as soon as they opened the front door. Neither of us had to be there when it happened. We could imagine the disaster. And that's all we needed.

And, apparently, that's all they needed. They moved out one month later.

Dinner last night:   SPO at the Dodger game.

Classical Newsreel of the Month - May 2022

 Thinking of a very busy mom following her special weekend.

Dinner last night:  Taylor Ham, egg, and cheese on English muffin.

Protest This

 

Dinner last night:  Salad.