Black Friday Crowd Avoidance Tips

 

I'm guessing that, even with a looming recessions, stores will be crowded today as people get the jump start on holiday shopping.  Why battle the crowds today for those insipid door buster sales?  You didn't want to be out at 4AM anyway. Try these great Christmas gift ideas culled from some of those paper-wasting catalogs you get in the mail.  Hey, who doesn't want their wine bottle stopped up with one of Santa's reindeer? If that's not your fancy, how about these gems.

A Christmas tree ornament designed after the legendary Bigfoot. I guess the Muppets and the Peanuts gang are now old hat.

A Star Wars toaster. May the force be with your English muffin.

Tired of your family gathering this Yuletide? Simply slap these on and you'll be by yourself in the emergency room before you know it.

Two squirts of this stuff and a complete town in Pennsylvania goes bankrupt.

Fruit.  Oh, wow.  Gee, thanks.  Because it's so hard to get to the super market.

This is a welcome mat for those home owners who are information geeks.  Step to their front door and you'll see the exact latitude and longitude.  Not the ideal Christmas gift for any nomadic families.

 

A vitamin supplement that will cure all problems.  Reversitall.  I'll take two the first morning and see.  If, by the next day, the Dodgers don't have the 2022 World Series trophy and Joe Biden is still President, I will officially announce that Reversitall doesn't work.

The Christmas Skymall also includes items for next Halloween.  How about this life-like creature that will sit next to your front door?  It's over six feet tall and, if that doesn't scare, the sticker price will.  Five hundred dollars!  You'll drop dead at that very front door.  And, if the folks have already purchased the welcome mat shown above, you'll have the exact latitude and longitude of your demise.

It's a clock.  It's a slide rule.  No, it's a clock.  No, it's a slide rule.  Can't make up your mind?  Let me be the judge.  It's a piece of junk.

Dinner last night:  The turkey dinner at the home of good friends Ellen and Bob.