1570: A TSUNAMI IN THE NORTH SEA DEVASTATES THE COAST FROM HOLLAND TO JUTLAND, KILLING MORE 1,000 PEOPLE.
For once, the Japanese heave a sigh of relief.
1734: PIONEER DANIEL BOONE IS BORN.
So he was almost as old as Fess Parker.
1755: QUEEN OF FRANCE MARIE ANTOINETTE IS BORN.
Clearly a head of her time.
1769: DON GASPAR DE PORTOLA LEADS THE FIRST DOCUMENTED EUROPEAN VISIT TO SAN FRANCISCO BAY.
Personally, I remember Rod Gaspar, the fourth outfielder for the 1969 New York Mets.
1772: DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, SAMUEL ADAMS AND JOSEPH WARREN FORM THE FIRST COMMITTEE OF CORRESPONDENCE.
It should be no surprise who brought the beer.
1783: IN ROCKY HILL, NEW JERSEY, US GENERAL GEORGE WASHINGTON GIVES HIS FAREWELL ADDRESS TO THE ARMY.
Byuh, byuh.
1795: THE FRENCH DIRECTORY SUCCEEDS THE FRENCH NATION CONVENTION AS THE GOVERNMENT OF REVOLUTIONARY FRANCE.
Je ne care pas.
1865: 29TH PRESIDENT OF THE US, WARREN G. HARDING, IS BORN.
He died in office. From either blood poisoning. Or harding of the arteries.
1868: NEW ZEALAND OFFICIALLY ADOPTS A STANDARD TIME TO BE OBSERVED NATIONALLY.
As if everybody else's time isn't good enough for them.
1882: OULU, FINLAND IS DECIMATED BY THE GREAT OULU FIRE OF 1882.
Oulu strikes me as one of those words that turns up in crossword puzzles all the time.
1889: NORTH DAKOTA AND SOUTH DAKOTA ARE ADMITTED AS THE 39TH AND 40TH US STATES.
Well, once they took one, they had to let both in.
1898: CHEERLEADING IS STARTED AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA WITH JOHNNY CAMPBELL LEADING THE CROWD IN CHEERING ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM.
But who was there to catch him?
1913: ACTOR BURT LANCASTER IS BORN.
The way he clenched his teeth, this was truly a man in need of a night guard.
1914: RUSSIA DECLARES WAR ON THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE.
Talk about a safe fight. Battling with furniture.
1920: KDKA OF PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA STARTS BROADCASTING AS THE FIRST COMMERCIAL RADIO STATION.
By November 3, 1920, they were already changing the rate card.
1930: HAILE SELASSIE IS CROWNED EMPEROR OF ETHIOPIA.
On a trip to Scotland, his wife was called Lassie Selassie.
1936: THE CANADIAN BROADCASTING CORPORATION IS ESTABLISHED.
Screw this. Can you believe that joke I just wrote?
1942: ACTRESS STEFANIE POWERS IS BORN.
A horrible actress, but she actually looked like Jessica Tandy playing alongside Robert Wagner.
1947: IN CALIFORNIA, DESIGNER HOWARD HUGHES PERFORMS THE MAIDEN AND ONLY FLIGHT OF THE SPRUCE GOOSE, THE LARGEST FIXED-WING AIRCRAFT EVER BUILT.
And this day also marks the last time he ever shaved.
1950: PLAYWRIGHT GEORGE BERNARD SHAW DIES.
They moved his bloomin' ass.
1959: TWENTY ONE GAME SHOW CONTESTANT CHARLES VAN DOREN ADMITS TO CONGRESS THAT HE HAD BEEN GIVEN QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS IN ADVANCE.
If he had been on Jeopardy, they would have given him answers and questions in advance.
1961: HUMORIST JAMES THURBER DIES.
My world and goodbye to it.
1963: SOUTH VIETNAMESE PRESIDENT NGO DINH DIEM IS ASSASSINATED.
That's a no go, Ngo.
1966: THE CUBAN ADJUSTMENT ACT COMES INTO FORCE, ALLOWING 123,000 CUBANS THE OPPORTUNITY TO APPLY FOR PERMANENT RESIDENCE IN THE UNITED STATES.
They should have stopped with Desi Arnaz.
1967: US PRESIDENT LYNDON B. JOHNSON CONCLUDES THAT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE SHOULD BE GIVEN MORE OPTIMISTIC REPORTS ON THE VIETNAM WAR.
Which is why war footage started to show up on Disney's "Wonderful World of Color."
1983: US PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN SIGNS A BILL CREATING MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY.
Oddly enough, this holiday coincides with a lot of department store "white sales."
1991: PRODUCER IRWIN ALLEN DIES.
He made some wonderful disaster movies, but I still won't forgive him for letting Jennifer Jones fall out of the elevator in "The Towering Inferno."
1992: PRODUCER HAL ROACH DIES.
At the age of 100. He created the Little Rascals. For this, he should get the Nobel Peace Prize.
2007: LADY WRESTLER THE FABULOUS MOOLAH DIES.
From natural causes. As opposed to a folding chair across the head.
2016: THE CHICAGO CUBS BEAT THE CLEVELAND INDIANS AND FINALLY WIN THE WORLD SERIES.
Ron Santo, try to click your heels now.
Dinner last night: From my freezer....leftover SPO.
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