456: MAGISTER MILITUM RICIMER DEFEATS EMPEROR AVITUS AT PIACENZA AND BECOMES MASTER OF THE WESTERN ROMAN EMPIRE.
An awful lot to type if you don't really care.
1384: JADWIGA IS CROWNED KING OF POLAND, ALTHOUGH SHE IS A WOMAN.
If this is a simple mistake, then that Jadwiga must be one ugly lady.
1590: CARLO GESAULDO, COMPOSER, PRINCE OF VENOSA AND COUNT OFCONZA, MURDERS HIS WIFE, DONNA MARIA D'AVALO AND HER LOVER FABRIZIO CARAFA THE DUKE OF ANDRIA.
Even more to type and I don't really care.
1793: MARIE ANTOINETTE, WIDOW OF LOUIS XVI, IS GUILLOTINED.
If you need this basket for the laundry, you better wash it out first.
1834: MUCH OF THE PALACE OF WESTMINSTER IN LONDON BURNS TO THE GROUNDS.
But what about the London Bridges? Aren't they falling down?
1846: WILLIAM TG MORTON IS THE FIRST TO ADMINISTER ETHER ANESTHESIA.
Gee, I hope he was a doctor.
1875: BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY IS FOUNDED IN PROVO, UTAH.
Introduction to Mormons 101 is open for enrollment.
1916: IN BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, MARGARET SANGER OPENS THE FIRST FAMILY PLANNING CLINIC IN THE US.
Because not everybody is interested in birthin' babies.
1917: ACTRESS ALICE PEARCE IS BORN.
Abner!
1923: COMPOSER BERT KAEMPFERT IS BORN.
His mother has a song request. Red Roses for a Sore Pelvis.
1923: THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY IS FOUNDED BY WALT DISNEY.
Gee, I wonder if they ever turned a profit.
1925: ACTRESS ANGELA LANSBURY IS BORN.
Birthday, She Wrote.
1928: ACTRESS ANN MORGAN GUILBERT IS BORN.
Millie Halper, next door neighbor to Rob and Laura Petrie.
1939: THE FIRST ATTACK ON BRITISH TERRITORY BY THE GERMAN LUFTWAFFE.
I guess the Nazis weren't big on scones and clotted cream.
1941: BASEBALL STARS/SPORTSCASTER TIM MCCARVER IS BORN.
Many people don't like him. I, however, think he was great. Terrific career, Timmy.
1944: WALLY WALRUS, WOODY WOODPECKER'S FOIL, DEBUTS IN A WALTER LANTZ CARTOON.
Chilly Willy can't be far behind.
1946: ACTRESS SUZANNE SOMERS IS BORN.
If you want to laugh a lot, watch her next show on the Home Shopping Network.
1962: THE CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS BEGINS WHEN PRESIDENT JOHN KENNEDY IS SHOWN PHOTOGRAPHS OF MISSILE SITES IN CUBA.
"What? You only have black and white??"
1964: CHINA DETONATES ITS FIRST NUCLEAR WEAPON.
And we were worried about Russia?
1964: SOVIET LEADERS LEONID BREZHNEV AND ALEXEI KOSYGIN ARE INAUGURATED IN RUSSIA.
Bye, bye, Nikita.
1968: US ATHLETES TOMMIE SMITH AND JOHN CARLOS ARE KICKED THE US OLYMPIC TEAM FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE BLACK POWER SALUTE.
Right on, brother!
1969: THE NEW YORK METS WIN THE WORLD SERIES.
And a young boy in Mount Vernon, New York has his first moment of glory in life.
1972: ACTOR LEO G. CARROLL DIES.
"George! Marian!"
1973: HENRY KISSINGER AND LE DUC THO ARE AWARDED THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.
Is this before or after Kissinger was shtupping Jill St. John?
1973: DRUMMER GENE KRUPA DIES.
Bang this.
1978: KAROL WOJTYLA IS ELECTED POPE PAUL II.
A big day for Poland because...
1978: WANDA RUTKIEWICZ IS THE FIRST POLE AND EUROPEAN WOMAN TO REACH THE TOP OF MOUNT EVEREST.
Kielbasie for everybody!
1978: ACTOR DAN DAILEY DIES.
Mother Wore Tights. Dad Wore Shrouds.
1984: DESMOND TUTU IS AWARDED THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.
He did not sleep with Jill St. John. As far as I know.
1989: ACTOR CORNEL WILDE DIES.
The Greatest Wake on Earth.
1995: THE MILLION MAN MARCH OCCURS IN WASHINGTON, DC.
Any excuse to take a day off.
1997: ACTRESS AUDRA LINDLEY DIES.
Mrs. Roper!!
1997: AUTHOR JAMES MICHENER DIES.
Did he ever write a book shorter than 1000 pages?
1999: RADIO HOST JEAN SHEPHERD DIES.
This is worse than poking your eye out.
2004: FORMER WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY PIERRE SALINGER DIES.
He had no comment.
2006: A MAGNITUDE 6.7 EARTHQUAKE ROCKS HAWAII.
Hawaii 6.7.
2007: ACTRESS DEBORAH KERR DIES.
From Here to Real Eternity.
2010: ACTRESS BARBARA BILLINGSLEY DIES.
"Gee, Ward, I'm worried about June."
2012: BASEBALL PLAYER/COACH EDDIE YOST DIES.
On this very date in 1969, he was coaching third base for the World Series winning New York Mets.
Dinner last night: Sandwich.
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