Last Week

Some of you are in the know. But, for those who are not, I'll update the annals of social media and this blog to cover the mass circulation. And forgive the highlighting of prose. I am toggling through several portals.

Last Thursday, I was at the gym with my trainer for the usual exercise regimen.

By Saturday night, I had a Ralph Kramden stomach and couldn't manage a simple flight of stairs.

By 330PM Monday, I was in the St. John's-Santa Monica version of "The Pitt" and hearing the three words "congestive heart failure." What the hell.

By Monday night, I was in ICU where they literally "can see you" at all times.

I was introduced to my new best friend, electrocardiologist Dr. Saarik Gupta, who determined I suddenly had an atrial flutter, which is the bastard second cousin of the more popular "a fib." This would necessitate a procedure that effectively rewires the heart and returns it to normal sinus rhythm as opposed to the Monday meter readings which made my heart resemble the 2008 stock market crash. Essentially a shock to the ticker.

And that's what Dr. Gupta and his team did Tuesday morning from 921 AM to 932 AM. It takes longer to get your order from In N Out Burger.

By Thursday night at 730PM, I was listening to the Beach Boys at the Hollywood Bowl.

Oh, there are ramifications. I've got a slew of pills to take every morning and evening. But no other restrictions have been cast for my trainer, my PT, and my future water coach. I said to Dr. Gupta that the big winner is the pharmacy at Ralph's. He corrected me. "No, the big winner is you." Nobody knows yet what triggered this medical soap but he, along with my phenomenal and super human internist Dr. Jonathan Weaver, will figure this out.

Just as happened a few months ago with "The Grand Slam of Hernias," I am reminded of the wonderment of my friends that range from sea to shining sea. I am honored to have that particular contact list in my phone. But, this week I was more mesmerized and astounded again by the staff at St. John's, most notably the folks in the ICU and ER. I salute nurses Amanda, Amy, Eva, and Gerardo as well as anybody else who answered my buzzer. They are all Doctor Robbys in my book.

One more time, our bodies are gifted with amazing alarm systems. Always make sure yours are turned on. Listen to them.

Dinner last night: Grilled sausage.