The AARP Travel Guide

 

Given that I saw so few movies this year, you would think it's impossible for me to forget to review one.  But that's exactly what happened with "Book Club: The Next Chapter."   I forgot all about it before I even validated my parking ticket at the cinema.

Now that's not to say this isn't decent entertainment.   Following on the heels of its first blockbuster installment, the ladies gather again to provide you with an amusing, if not inconsequential time waster.

Indeed, the people behind this film owe a lot to COVID.  The sequel was likely delayed due to the pandemic, but they use it as a plot point for the first ten minutes.  Seriously, the first part of the movie was actually filmed on Zoom as the four characters practice social distancing.   But, eventually, they are allowed out of the house and they head to Italy for the wedding of Jane Fonda to long time beau Don Johnson.   

And that's it.  The movie not only chews scenery, it gorges on it.  I'm guessing, like their characters, the four actresses were looking for a reason to travel.   And that's why the movie is largely nothing but a travelogue with a light seasoning of plot from time to time.  The latter usually involves one or all four of them behind bar at the polizia.

The good news is that it's always good to see Diane Keaton, Candice Bergen, Mary Steenbergen, and Jane Fonda (yes, she made something without Lily Tomlin) on screen like old friends.   As slight as this Book Club is, it's ten times more interesting than Barbie.   Now that one left me with an impression that I couldn't forget to review.

So you can see it.   Or not see it.  Or simply wait for the next country these ladies want to work in.

LEN'S RATING:  Two-and-a-half stars.

Dinner last night:  Leftover pasta and meat balls.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - August 14, 2023

Summer and idiots never get old. 

Dinner last night: Ribeye steak and mushrooms.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Lunching with Greatness

It's amazing what triggers memories.  I was flipping the dials and invariably fell onto Turner Classic Movies as one would expect.   The image on the screen stirred me.

I had lunch with that person.  If you've heard the story before, bear with me.  Others have not.  And it bears telling again.

There is something very mystical about how I find myself hooking up with stars that my parents probably saw on the silver screen at the Wakefield Theater in the Bronx. Well, here’s how this one starts. One summer week in LA, I am scheduled to have lunch with a good friend who is an actress/stand-up comic. She has worked on a variety of our projects. But she calls to tell me that she needs to juggle her lunch schedule as she is overbooked on the day we are scheduled.

Let me back up. This particular friend has an even more magical way of connecting to Hollywood legends. The neighbors in her apartment building, at one time, included the lone surviving Nicholas Brother (at the time) as well as Glenn Miller’s band singer. And it is through the latter connection that my friend had lunch scheduled with a certain somebody and that conflicted with the lunch she had scheduled with me. I willingly beg off and agree to another date for lunch.

But I later mentioned to my writing partner that my lunch was postponed because our actress friend was booked for lunch with this certain somebody. Innocently, he asked why I didn’t suggest that the lunches be combined so I could, too, break bread with that certain somebody.

Bang! I could have had a V-8.

The next day, when I related what my partner had suggested to my friend as a joke, I didn’t expect the response I got.

“Why didn’t I think about that? Besides, you have A/C in your car and I don’t.”

Huh?

But, who was I to quibble if a standard option on my car suddenly became a valued calling card?

My actress friend immediately called this certain somebody and said, “I’m bringing a friend. And he's got air conditioning in the car.”

And I suppose I have a fully loaded Toyota 4-Runner to thank because that's how I wound up having lunch with JANE RUSSELL.

Yes, Jane Russell.

It was an absolute hoot. She had held up very nicely for her age (83 at the time). Except she can’t see and she subsequently asked me to read the entire menu to her. I did so with all the aplomb of the best waiter.

"And then, Miss Russell, there is a sauteed chicken breast with a delicate white wine sauce and capers on the side."

Jane brightened. "I love capers!"

And talk about name dropping. Marilyn…….as in Monroe. Howard……as in Hughes. Shelley…as in Winters. Being the ultimate gentleman (or patsy), I paid for lunch. She was so impressed.

“Look at you. Getting stuck picking up the check for a couple of old broads!”

On the way home, she even showed us where Bob Hope lived. Knowing that my writing partner would be disappointed that he wasn’t there----and that I forgot to ask Jane to autograph one of those bras for him, I casually suggested she come over for a home cooked meal the next time she was in town. Imagine my surprise when she answered.

"Sure. When?”

It sadly never happened.  And I had bought a new jar of capers and everything.

Dinner last night:  Pasta and meatballs.

Classic Newsreel of the Month - August 2023

Two surprises here.  One...there were still newsreels in 1966.  And, two...I didn't know Universal produced any.

Dinner last night:  BLT from Clementine's.

Summer Photos Your Phone Missed

 

Take your child on an amusement park ride and suddenly she's starring in "The Exorcist Part 4."

Cooking instructions:  Take one child.  Wrap in tin foil.  Bake at 350 degrees till crisp.

The annual meeting of the Clint Howard Fan Club.

What happens when Mom fogets to fill those Christmas stockings.

"Here, use this."

Johnny's favorite piece of the birthday cake is the breast.

What happens when you don't pay attention to the cooking instructions I listed above.

"Here comes Grandma.  And, er, there goes Grandma."

Reminds me of what my own grandmother would say when she caught me doing this.

"Are you digging for gold?"

The acorn really fell far from the family tree.

Dinner last night:  Scrambled eggs with Taylor ham and cheddar cheese.

The Greatest Mystery This Summer

 

...is why the hell is this mess of a movie getting all the attention...and box office...that it is?  I'm completely mystified.   And I was interested enough to find out what all the talk was about.

Still mystified.   

Oh, it's fun to look at, especially if you like the color pink.  But, at the heart of this film from director-writer Greta Gerwig, is a message,  And what should be entertaining turns out to be a meat tenderized continually pounding your forehead.

All the ingredients of a complete waste of time.

So, in Barbieland, everybody is named Barbie and Ken with perfect looks and vapid personalities.  But, somebody is messing with the formula and allows Ken and the other men to become the rulers and patriarchs.  You see, women are downtrodden and men are evil.  Suddenly, you begin to wonder if the screenplay was written by Rachel Maddown.

There is nothing worse than a movie that screams "look at me, I'm clever" when it actually isn't.  I had friends who raved to me how funny this movie was.   I laughed out loud three times.  I now have fewer friends on my Christmas card list.   

Still completely mystified at what they were watching.  And what I actually saw.  

Could it be that humor and satire has become so dumbed down that all of our comedic filters no longer work?   Given the ecstatic reviews "Barbie" got, I wonder if our overall perception of a good movie is gone.   Is this a lingering side effect of COVID?  Are too many people listening to what Joy Behar has to say?

Personally, I could have made a much funnier movie here.   I mean, the comedie possibilities of GI-Joe on a weekend bender finding Barbie on Tinder are too many to imagine.   That's where I would have taken this film.  

But, no.  In 2023, you need a message.  And be damned if you don't have one.

Yep, still completely mystified.

LEN'S RATING:  No stars.

Dinner last night:   Proscuitto and peach sandwich from Mendocino Farms.

This Date in History - August 9

 

A very busy day in history.   You'll see what I mean.  But, let's start off with a birthday greeting to Anna Kendrick, who's cute and can sing and can act and even has a pretty funny Twitter page.

48 BC:  JULIUS CAESAR DEFEATS POMPEY AT PHARSALUS AND POMPEY FLEES TO EGYPT.

Caesar's always enjoying himself unless, of course, it's March.

1173:  CONSTRUCTION OF THE CATHEDRAL OF PISA BEGINS.  IT IS NOW KNOWN AS THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA.

Who the hell were the workmen on this project?  Moe, Larry, and Curly?

1500:  OTTOMAN-VENETIAN WAR CONTINUES IN MESSENIA.

So, it's footstools versus window blinds?

1810:  NAPOLEON ANNEXES WESTPHALIA AS PART OF THE FIRST FRENCH EMPIRE.

Any word on Eastphalia?

1842:  THE WEBSTER-ASHBURTON TREATY IS SIGNED, ESTABLISHING THE US-CANADA BORDER EAST OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS.

No wall needed.

1854:  HENRY DAVID THOREAU PUBLISHES WALDEN.

A high school requirement.

1877:  A SMALL BAND OF NEZ PERCE INDIANS CLASH WITH THE US ARMY.

How soon before they are running their own casino?

1892:  THOMAS EDISON RECEIVES A PATENT FOR A TWO-WAY TELEGRAPH.

Dot---dot---dash---dash---dot.

1896:  GLIDER PIONEER OTTO LILIENTHAL HAS A FATAL CRASH.

Paper planes kill.

1899:  AUTHOR P.L. TRAVERS IS BORN.

The author of "Mary Poppins."

1902:  EDWARD VII AND ALEXANDRA OF DENMARK ARE CROWNED KING AND QUEEN OF THE UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND IRELAND.

How the hell did Alexandra manage this?  Greedy little skank.

1927:  ACTOR ROBERT SHAW IS BORN.

We're going to need a bigger cradle.

1930:  BETTY BOOP MAKES HER CARTOON DEBUT.

Boop, boop a doop.

1936:  SUMMER OLYMPIC GAMES - JESSE OWENS WINS HIS FOURTH GOLD MEDAL OF THE GAME.

You'd run fast too if you were in Nazi Germany.

1942:  BASEBALL STAR TOMMIE AGEE IS BORN.

Shamsky with Agee...he dives...and makes the catch.

1942:  INDIAN LEADER MAHATMA GANDHI IS ARRESTED IN BOMBAY BY BRITISH FORCES.

Gee, this might make a boring movie some day.

1944:  THE US FOREST SERVICE RELEASES POSTERS FEATURING SMOKEY THE BEAR FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Only you...

1945:  WORLD WAR II - NAGASAKI IS DEVASTATED WHEN US PLANES DROP AN ATOMIC BOMB ON THE CITY.

Somebody's gonna have to clean that up.

1963:  SINGER WHITNEY HOUSTON IS BORN.

Wonder when nurses gave her the first bath.

1963:  PATRICK BOUVIER KENNEDY DIES.

The Kennedy child nobody remembers...because he died.

1969:  CHARLES MANSON AND HIS FAMILY KILL PREGNANT ACTRESS SHARON TATE AND OTHERS AT HER HOME.

I actually know somebody who remembers hearing the screams that night.

1974:  RICHARD NIXON BECOMES THE FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE US TO RESIGN FROM OFFICE.  VP GERALD FORD BECOMES PRESIDENT.

I told you this was a big day in history.

1979:  DODGER OWNER WALTER O'MALLEY DIES.

And Brooklyn dances.

1985:  ACTRESS ANNA KENDRICK IS BORN.

I still think she's cute.

1995:  MUSICIAN JERRY GARCIA DIES.

Grateful.   Dead.

1999:  RUSSIAN PRESIDENT BORIS YELTSIN FIRES HIS ENTIRE CABINET.

Kind of Trump-like.

2008:  COMIC BERNIE MAC DIES.

Hold the fries.

2014:  ACTOR ED NELSON DIES.

Dr. Michael Rossi of TV's "Peyton Place."

2014:  MICHAEL BROWN, AN 18-YEAR-OLD BLACK MALE, IS SHOT AND KILLED BY A FERGUSON, MISSOURI POLICE OFFICER AFTER ALLEGEDLY ASSAULTING THE OFFICER.

There goes the neighborhood.  In flames.

2015:  FOOTBALL STAR FRANK GIFFORD DIES.

Years ago, Johnny Carson caught him in bed with his wife.   Hi ho.

Dinner last night:  Hamburger.