1122: POPE CALLIXTUS II AND HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR HENRY V AGREE TO THE CONCORDAT OF WORMS.
The mention of worms? Never good.
1215: EMPEROR KUBLAI KHAN IS BORN.
Great, great grandfather to Chaka.
1409: BATTLE OF KHERLEN, THE SECOND SIGNIFICANT VICTORY OVER MING CHINA BY THE MONGOLS SINCE 1368.
I read all about it in a blog. Kherlen Speaks.
1641: THE MERCHANT ROYAL, CARRYING A TREASURE WORTH OVER A BILLION US DOLLARS, IS LOST AT SEA.
A billion dollars dumped overboard. The 1641 version of affordable health care.
1642: THE FIRST COMMENCEMENT EXERCISES OCCUR AT HARVARD.
In September? They have some kinks to work out.
1779: THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION - JOHN PAUL JONES ON BOARD THE USS BONHOMME RICHARD WINS THE BATTLE OF FLAMBOROUGH HEAD.
Way to go, JP.
1780: THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION - BRITISH MAJOR JOHN ANDRE IS ARRESTED AS A SPY BY AMERICAN SOLDIERS EXPOSING BENEDICT ARNOLD'S CHANGE OF SIDES.
What??? Benedict Arnold is a turncoat???
1806: LEWIS AND CLARK RETURN TO ST. LOUIS AFTER EXPLORING THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST OF THE US.
Just in time for playoff baseball.
1845: THE KNICKERBOCKERS BASEBALL CLUB, THE FIRST BASEBALL TEAM TO PLAY UNDER THE MODERN RULES, IS FOUNDED.
Wait. Isn't there another team they would be playing?
1869: TYPHOID MARY IS BORN.
Mary, Typhoid as printed in the phone book.
1889: NINTENDO KOPPAI IS FOUNDED TO PRODUCE AND MARKET THE PLAYING CARD GAME OF HANAFUDA.
Yes, that Nintendo.
1897: ACTOR WALTER PIDGEON IS BORN.
Mr. Miniver.
1909: THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, A NOVEL, IS FIRST PUBLISHED.
Boy, will this have some residuals??!!
1920: ACTOR MICKEY ROONEY IS BORN.
He probably kept the same height all his life.
1927: SINGER MIGHTY JOE YOUNG IS BORN.
Not the ape.
1930: SINGER RAY CHARLES IS BORN.
Georgia on his mind.
1943: WORLD WAR II - THE NAZI PUPPET STATE IN THE ITALIAN SOCIAL REPUBLIC IS FOUNDED.
Why do I think these weren't exactly Muppets?
1943: SINGER JULIO IGLESIAS IS BORN.
My mother loved his records. But whose mother didn't?
1945: ACTOR PAUL PETERSEN IS BORN.
I traded e-mails with him on a project about ten years ago. Nice guy.
1947: ACTRESS MARY KAY PLACE IS BORN.
I've always thought she was very underrated as an actress.
1949: SINGER BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN IS BORN.
Yes, gang, I am not a fan. Never saw him in person. Never wanted to.
1952: RICHARD NIXON MAKES HIS FAMOUS CHECKERS SPEECH.
King me.
1962: THE LINCOLN CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS OPENS IN NEW YORK CITY.
Funny because it still looks new.
1969: THE CHICAGO EIGHT TRIAL OPENS IN CHICAGO.
The Chicago Nine were busy losing the NL East to the Mets at the same time.
1973: JUAN PERON RETURNS TO POWER IN ARGENTINA.
Soon to be a musical in your town.
1974: ACTOR CLIFF ARQUETTE DIES.
Charlie Weaver!
1981: ACTOR CHIEF DAN GEORGE DIES.
I always get him mixed up with that other Indian who was crying about the garbage on the road.
1986: JIM DESHAIES OF THE HOUSTON ASTROS SETS THE MAJOR LEAGUE RECORD BY STRIKING OUT THE FIRST EIGHT BATTERS OF THE GAME AGAINST THE LOS ANGELES DODGERS.
Two silhouettes....
1987: DANCER/DIRECTOR BOB FOSSE DIES.
And all that jazz.
1988: JOSE CANSECO OF THE OAKLAND ATHLETICS BECOMES THE FIRST MEMBER OF THE 40-40 CLUB.
Yeah, but I still remember him most for the ball hitting him in the head and then bouncing over the wall.
1998: ACTRESS MARY FRANN DIES.
The TV wife of Bob Newhart that nobody remembers.
1999: CELEBRATE BISEXUALITY DAY IS FIRST OBSERVED IN THE US.
I can't make up my mind which joke to use.
2002: THE FIRST PUBLIC VERSION OF THE WEB BROWSER MOZILLA FIREFOX IS RELEASED.
The most recent version messed up my laptop.
Dinner last night: Steak salad.
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