9: ARMINIUS' ALLIANCE OF SIX GERMANIC TRIBES AMBUSHES AND ANNIHILATES THREE ROMAN LEGIONS OF PUBLIUS QUINCTILIUS VARUS IN THE BATTLE OF THE TEUTOBURG FOREST.
The only thing I care about here is the fact that this was the last single digit year we ever had.
337: CONSTANTINE II, CONSTANTIUS II, AND CONSTANS SUCCEED THEIR FATHER CONSTANTINE I AS CO-EMPERORS.
Naming your kids all the same thing? Tacky.
1087: WILLIAM RUFUS BECOMES KING OF ENGLAND, TAKING THE TITLE OF WILLIAM II.
Clever. How did he ever come up with that?
1488: ANNE BECOMES SOVEREIGN DUCHESS OF BRITTANY, BECOMING A CENTRAL FIGURE IN THE STRUGGLE FOR INFLUENCE THAT LEADS TO THE UNION OF BRITTANY AND FRANCE.
I see London, I see France, I see Brittany's underpants.
1543: MARY STUART, AT NINE MONTHS OLD, IS CROWNED "QUEEN OF SCOTS."
Well, don't expect her to do much yet.
1776: THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS OFFICIALLY NAMES ITS NEW UNION THE UNITED STATES.
Back when we really were united.
1791: WASHINGTON DC, THE CAPITAL OF THE US, IS NAMED AFTER PRESIDENT GEORGE WASHINGTON.
I guess they never bothered to change it under Obama.
1850: CALIFORNIA IS ADMITTED AS THE THIRTY-FIRST US STATE.
Mexico became the thirty-third.
1850: THE COMPROMISE OF 1850 TRANSFERS A THIRD OF TEXAS' CLAIMED TERRITORY (NOW PARTS OF COLORADO, KANSAS, NEW MEXICO, OKLAHOMA, AND WYOMING) TO FEDERAL CONTROL IN RETURN FOR THE US GOVERNMENT ASSUMING 10 MILLION DOLLARS OF TEXAS'S PRE-ANNEXATION DEBT.
And, in 2015, they still want to be their own country.
1890: KFC FOUNDER COLONEL SANDERS IS BORN.
From which side of the rat do you get dark meat?
1914: DURING WORLD WAR I, THE CREATION OF THE CANADIAN AUTOMOBILE MACHINE GUN BRIGADE AS PART OF THE BRITISH ARMY.
Later to be sold to Elliot Ness and the Untouchables.
1926: THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY IS FORMED.
Bum bum bum.
1932: ACTRESS SYLVIA MILES IS BORN.
She looked old when she was young.
1940: GEORGE STIBITZ PIONEERS THE FIRST REMOTE OPERATION OF A COMPUTER.
Where's the control-alt-delete function?
1941: SINGER OTIS REDDING IS BORN.
Sittin' on the dock...oh, never mind.
1942: DURING WORLD WAR II, A JAPANESE FLOATPLANE DROPS INCENDIARY BOMBS ON OREGON.
Oregon??? How did they get that far?
1947: FIRST CASE OF A COMPUTER BUG BEING FOUND - A MOTH LODGES IN A RELAY OF A HARVARD MARK II COMPUTER AT HARVARD.
So the first computer bug was really a bug.
1952: ACTRESS ANGELA CARTWRIGHT IS BORN.
National holiday in my house.
1956: ELVIS PRESLEY APPEARS ON THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW FOR THE FIRST TIME.
From the waist up.
1965: THE US DEPARTMENT OF HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT OPENS.
Yeah, a fat lot of good they've done.
1971: THE FOUR-DAY ATTICA PRISON RIOT BEGINS, EVENTUALLY RESULTING IN 39 DEAD, MOST KILLED BY STATE TROOPERS RETAKING THE PRISON.
1975: ACTOR JOHN MCGIVER DIES.
A fellow Fordham graduate.
1993: THE PALESTINE LIBERATION ORGANIZATION OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZES ISRAEL AS A STATE.
Sure they do.
1997: BASEBALL STAR RICHIE ASHBURN DIES.
An original Met.
1999: ACTRESS RUTH ROMAN DIES.
If I'm not mistaken, she was a survivor of the Andrea Dorea shipwreck.
2009: THE DUBAI METRO, THE FIRST URBAN TRAIN NETWORK IN THE ARABIAN PENINSULA, IS CEREMONIALLY INAUGURATED.
Now there's a train I will never ever be on.
2012: A WAVE OF ATTACKS KILL MORE THAN 100 PEOPLE AND INJURE 350 OTHERS ACROSS IRAQ.
What kind of attacks? Terrorist? Gall bladder? More info please.
Dinner last night: Bacon wrapped filet mignon.
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