Best Wednesday in a Supporting Role

Given the Emmy ceremonies I saw on Sunday, it's an honor NOT to be nominated.

---It's always amazing to me that an award show devoted to television excellence is usually the worst TV program of the year.

---I have no idea what was going on with that opening that features five reality hosts. It was about as funny as Parkland Hospital at 1PM on November 22, 1963.

---All those goofballs who accepted awards for their work on "John Adams" used the platform to make veiled speeches for Barack Obama.

---If these goofballs had bothered to read the book about Adams, they would have realized he was all about a limited federal government.

---I do wonder how many of those people who voted for the John Adams thing actually go all the way through it without having their chins hit their chests at least once per hour.

---I watched the first hour myself and thought that ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

---But I did love producer Tom Hanks' new hair piece.

---Will somebody please get Mary Tyler Moore a pair of those long gloves Kitty Carlisle used to wear on "To Tell The Truth?"

---Her arms looked like brisket that had been on the stove for a week.

---Don Rickles won an Emmy for that documentary on his life and that was the most deserving recognition of the evening.

---Looking out at the audience, Don probably didn't know where to start. So many dummies and hockey pucks.

---When it comes to hosting an awards show, Heidi sure is Klumsy. The second thought she will have in her life is due in 2016.

---I spent Sunday dial flipping from the Emmys to the last game at Yankee Stadium, which ended sometime in the middle of the night.

---While the Yankees usually do these ceremonies well, this one was a mess. They pulled out all these Central Casting actors to play old legendary Yankees.

---Which begs the question: who plays Bernie Williams in 80 years when George Steinbrenner XII wants to move for even more luxury boxes?

---In their covering of Yankee Stadium history, was I in the bathroom when they mentioned Roger Clemens?

---And where was that freakin' bird they used to fly around the place? I'm guessing a new Chinese restaurant opened up two blocks away.

---Please don't tell that big-eared Irish bartender/singer where the Yankees are moving to.

---For my taste, the singing of "God Bless America" should not be longer than the American Revolution itself.

---By the time he was done, two more old ex-Yankees had died.

---Did they mention Roger Clemens yet?

---Joe Torre was also ignored by the thoroughly classless Steinbrenner boys. Those two are as endearing as a rectal itch.

---So, now that the federal government now holds a lot of the property mortgages, we are now living in a country that's run by Old Man Potter from "It's A Wonderful Life."

---Teacher says, "Everytime a bell rings, an asshole gets bailed out."

---Note to all those tools who borrowed money: the fine print is there for a reason. You're supposed to read it!

---And it's also fascinating that two of the corporate moguls involved in this mess have donated beaucoup bucks to Obama. And they were on his Vice Presidential search committee.

---McCain says that he has no answers on the economic crisis, but reminds us all he was a POW and proud of it.

---Wait! Do I hear the Yankees finally mentioning Roger Clemens?

---Well, I know this for sure. Bullwinkle won't be voting for Sarah Palin.

---For sheer hilarity this election season, don't miss the comedy stylings of Joe Biden. This dope has made one stupid statement after another.

---At a rally, he asked some crippled guy in a wheelchair to stand up and take a bow.

---Then, as he waxed on about the stock market problems, he reminded us that Franklin Roosevelt immediately got on the television and reassured the country.

---If you were able to tune into one of the five experimental TV sets in the country during 1929.

---And, even then, you might be asking the question: who's this guy and where's President Hoover?

Thank you to all those important people who made this happen for me. Good night.

Dinner last night: Homemade lasagna.