A Wednesday You Can Sink Your Teeth Into

Here the local version of Dracula that I saw skulking around Universal Studios last week. This proves that there are countless ways you can make a living these days.

---Hurricane Gustav didn't do the damage to New Orleans that Katrina did, much to Michael Moore's chagrin.

---Moore actually said that Gustav was God's way to disrupt the Republican Convention. The real question is when does God finally disrupt Michael Moore?

---I hate to tell these political parties that Jesus didn't vote for one side or the other. Not even a write-in.

---Maybe the reason why there was no real hurricane-related problems is because that asshole New Orleans mayor finally did his job and got the people out ahead of time.

---Let's face it. Everybody knows that one of the most inept and corrupt city governments has been New Orleans.

---Second only to Chicago and guess who lives there?

---FEMA has to be breathing a sigh of relief today. They just finished paying for all the plasma big screen TVs folks bought after Katrina.

---Why do I think the screening process McCain used for his VP pick was done on Wikipedia?

---Sarah Palin is the freshman who somehow winds up as president of the senior class.

---Everybody is discounting her work in Alaska claiming the state is too small.

---Like Joe Biden's Delaware is any bigger? That's a state where you can get gas on one end of the state and put air in your tires on the other.

---So, Palin's daughter is pregnant and now there's going to be a shotgun wedding.

---Which works well for Mom since she already belongs to the NRA.

---Since Palin was born in Idaho, nobody should challenge how she spells "potato."

---Left wing bloggers were writing that Palin's Downs Syndrome baby is really her daughter's and they are covering this up.

---That would be a clever notion if they didn't use that exact same plot on Desperate Housewives last season!

---I have friends who love the Palin move and others who absolutely hate it. Both opinions come from both sides of the political spectrum. But, at the end of the day, all the VP picks are nothing but devices to shore up voting blocs.

---McCain picked Palin to get women. Obama picked Biden to cover up his lack of experience.

---It goes on and on. Mondale picked Ferraro because people were bored with his campaign. Kennedy picked Lyndon Johnson because he desperately need to carry Texas.

---Nixon picked Spiro Agnew to make sure he covered Greeks with IQs of less than 120.

---And Bush picked Dan Quayle to make sure all the village idiots voted Republican.

---Meanwhile, I haven't heard one substantial word from either Presidential candidate on how to fix Andruw Jones' batting stance.

---Finally saw a summer movie that I liked. Tropic Thunder. It is funny and interesting and politically incorrect and offensive.

---Four Stars from Len.

---There are lots of protest groups griping about it. Especially the scenes where Ben Stiller is playing a mentally challenged boy.

---If you know you are going to be bothered by a movie, I have some great words of advice.

---Don't go.

---Stay home.

---Mind your business.

---Leave us be.

---In this movie, Stiller doesn't do anything that Jerry Lewis didn't do in all those crappy movies he used to make.

---Speaking of which, I watched a bit of the Jerry Lewis telethon and the biggest act I saw was the 2008 edition of Menudo.

---Jerry actually looked normal this year. But he didn't explain why he tried to carry a gun through airport security a few weeks back.

---MDA got pledges of over 65 million bucks and co-host Ed McMahon, headed for the poor house, had to be licking his chops at all that dough coming in.

---By the end of the day, Ed was actually starting to walk with a limp.

---Actor David Duchovny went into rehab to cure his addiction to internet porno.

---Would that be called laptop dancing?

Dinner last night: The salad bar at Gelson's.