Diamond Dust

There used to be a daily section in the NY Daily News when I was a kid. At the end of some baseball coverage, there would be a little added commentary called “Diamond Dust.” I want to think it was devised by that dirtbag columnist Dick Young. Nevertheless, since we just wrapped up the first two weeks of the 2009 baseball season, I thought I would sprinkle a little of my own.

MLB Network vs. ESPN: Say, hallelujah! There is finally a television network that actually understands the sport. The fledgling MLB Network puts ESPN and their awful Baseball Tonight to shame. It seems like all the latter focuses on are homeruns hit on the East Coast. The MLB Network actually recognizes there are baseball teams situated in that ungodly phenomenon---the Western time zone. If you watched ESPN over the last few days, they were gushing constantly over the Florida Marlins and their 11-1 start. Hello, what about the Dodgers going 10-3???

The Florida Marlins: What a dynamite start to the season? My God, they may actually draw more than 10,000 a night on their next homestand. My contention is that this franchise doesn’t draw more people because the city is full of illegals who don’t want to be shown fighting for a foulball on television.

The NL East: You know it’s unlikely, but, if the Marlins pull away from the pack early just as the Mets did in 1986, the Wilpon family with their new Citi Field could be knee deep in unsold pulled BBQ pork sandwiches by June 15.

The New Yankee Stadium: With the high price of tickets into this new museum, the fans got their money’s worth with 26 runs scoring last Saturday. Except 22 of them were not scored by the Yankees. Desperate for pitching, the Yankees have put out a call to the late Herb Pennock. I also wonder how difficult it must be for Yankee fans to get off the subway and find the old place to the left and the new stadium to the right. Sort of like two of your ex-girlfriends moving next door to each other.

The Death of Phillie Announcer Harry Kalas: This was portrayed as an absolute tragedy and I guess somebody’s passing should be. But, I’ve read that the guy used to go out and smoke a ciggy after every inning, so it should be no surprise his heart stopped like a two dollar wristwatch. I saw clips of the guy from his broadcast the weekend before and he looked like a character in the new Tim Burton movie. Creepy. Also, in my humble opinion, a bit overrated in his play-by-play. Kalas always sounded like a 45 RPM record played at 33 1/3. “Pop……………up………..to…………..Mickey………….Morendini………….He…………..catches………….it…………Phillies……………win." Yawn!!!

Manny Ramirez Imploding: When Manny went a dozen games without hitting a homerun, Red Sox Nation, AKA the Third Reich of Baseball, was laughing hysterically. Ha, ha, ha, they said. Here's Manny dogging it, just like we expected. They all need to get a fuckin' life. Maybe, just maybe, Manny has turned a corner. Maybe, just maybe, he was a cancerous tumor growing only because the environment was so toxic around him. What a bunch of assholes. I wish them nothing but endless loops of the following four words uttered by Vin Scully: "It gets through Buckner."

God Bless America: Hopefully, this was just a MLB edict for the first weeks of the season. But, everybody in every major league city was subjected to some local high school senior singing this during the seventh inning stretch. Enough. I like the song and think it should be our National Anthem. But, we've heard it so much over the past 14 days that even Kate Smith would be throwing up by now.

Does Everything Have to Be Sponsored?: At Dodger Stadium, the traditional seventh inning stretch singing of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" is now sponsored by California Super Lotto. But, even worse, the usual Diamondvision shots of organist Nancy Bea Heffley playing the tune also feature a huge Super Lotto behind her. It's almost like she's working the counter down at the 7Eleven. Can I have a pint of gin and two scratches, please?

The Death of Angel Pitcher Nick Adenhart: This was heartbreaking and I have no idea how a baseball team overcomes this. Especially since they are maintaining the daily reminder of his death with a photo on the outfield wall, a uniform patch over their hearts, etc.. I'm surprised they didn't actually bury him in that fountain/grotto just past the Anaheim centerfield wall. I understand they want to continue his memory, but is there a point in time where they simply move on? I remember there was one season where so many old Yankees had died that the Yankee uniform looked like the guest book at a funeral parlor. I don't know the answer to this dilemma, but Adenhart is going to linger over the Angels for a long, long time if they are not careful.
Reunited and It Feels So Good: Talk about an uncomfortable photo opportunity. Here, Met manager Jerry Manuel is reunited with Brewer coach and former Met manager Willie Randolph. From what I read, Jerry couldn't waited to see Willie again. From what I have heard from one of Willie's closest friends who happens to be a friend of mine, Willie absolutely detests Manuel because the latter pretty much undercut him all the way down the line at the beginning of last season. This picture is sort of what you might see if Jesus and Judas went out for cocktails after the Last Supper. And is it me or is Jerry Manuel a double for the liver-spotted actor Morgan Freeman?

Dinner last night: Evelyn's Favorite Pasta at the Cheesecake Factory.