Marshmallow Wednesday

No hidden Easter eggs here. Everything is out in the open.

---Here you see some of that traditional Easter candy. Marshmallow Peeps. And you might as well eat sweetened styrofoam.

---If you look at the website devoted to Peeps, you see that they promote them for all sorts of holidays.

---Because Christmas is all about putting this giant lint ball in your mouth.

---What the hell has all this candy to do with Easter? From all the Bible pictures I've seen, Jesus and the disciples didn't finish off the Last Supper with some Godiva chocolate mints.

---If they had a basketful of Peeps on that table, who knows? Judas might have left early and the rest would be history.

---That way, Obama could really be the true Messiah.

---What's with the cheapo gifts the President is dragging around the world?

---An iPod for the Queen? Pre-loaded with some of Obama's speeches. Well, Phillip can now cross that off his wife's holiday gift list.

---It's like somebody at the White House had a cow. "Holy shit, we're going to Europe and we have nothing to bring. Somebody make a Best Buy run, please!"

---Looking at the Queen in those pictures with Mr. and Mrs. Urkel, you had to wonder what the woman was thinking.

---"I've had dealings with people like Winston Churchill, John F. Kennedy, Eleanor Roosevelt. And now these two schvugs..."

---When did women stop curtsying upon being presented to the Queen? For Pete's sake, there was a whole "I Love Lucy" episode devoted to this.

---Except when Mrs. Urkel was presented, she patted the Queen on the back like she was greeting Halle Berry on the Ellen DeGeneres show.

---Thank God she didn't try to fist bump with the Royal Family.

---I brought this all up at a church gathering. One British-born friend was equally appalled. Meanwhile, all the liberal folks were tripping over each other defending the behavior.

---"This was all cleared by the Office of Protocol."

---And who phoned and told you this? The freakin' Prince of Wales?

---North Korea is now shooting off long range missiles towards Alaska.

---So they don't like Sarah Palin either?

---How come our President gets more angry at American talk radio hosts than at our enemies around the world?

---That's right, folks. There are places on this globe that have hated the United States and will always hate the United States. So, put down the peace pipe, stow the Joan Baez records, and get a move on.

---The good news is that North Korea won't point anything at Los Angeles. Too many relatives could be included in the collateral damage.

---If we get into another fracas with Korea, at least Mike Farrell and Loretta Swit could find work again.

---I read that China is in the middle of all this, providing technology and stirring the pot against America.

---All of you who got all those warm and fuzzy feelings during the Bei-jing Olympics can re-enter the real world.

---If Asians don't kill us with WMDs, they'll do it with car insurance premiums.

---Or with rifles like that Vietnamese kook who shot up Binghamton, New York.

---Of course, we now hear that his angst was all driven by the lagging economy.

---Huh??? Why can't we admit that there are deranged people in this country???

---I voluntarily took a 20 percent paycut, so I guess there's a bloodied doctor's office with my name on it.

---And you want nuts? How about those dumbbells from PETA, filing a lawsuit against US Airways for hitting all those birds before it had to crash land in the Hudson River???

---Gee, did that Sully pilot guy make a mistake? Hmm.....150 people or a flock of seagulls? What to do? What to do?

---This week on Idol, the contestants all sang songs from the year they were born. Sorry, folks, not a 70s birthday in the bunch.

---The 16 year-old girl, Alison, sang the Bonnie Raitt song about turning down the bed and turning out the lights and I wonder how many parents turned off their daughters' TVs at that point.

---Scott, the blind kid who won't go away, sang some song with a lot of sight references and I figure there's a real prankster on the Idol production staff.

---The way this guy played his electric guitar, he reminded me of Keith Partridge practicing in Shirley Jones' garage.

---My guess is that he will be shown the door this week---literally.

And I'm exiting as well. Till tomorrow, my Peeps.

Dinner last night: Pork chops with orange roulade, rice, and steamed broccoli.